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✧˖°࿐·̩͙✧ SHE WAS GOING TO TELL HIM. keyword: was. Bellamy Gilmore felt jittery, butterflies in her stomach as she was standing behind the door of his apartment. she kept giving herself pep talk after pep talk, trying to gain the nerve to tell him.
and when she finally did, she was met with a mix of disappointment and complete jealousy.
she brought her hand up to the door, her fist knocking against it a few times. she rolled on the ball of her feet, rocking back and fourth as she waited for Logan to answer.
instead, a petite blonde girl stood on the other side. her hair was disheveled and her bra stuck out messily from underneath her tank-top — as if she quickly put it on when she heard the knocks.
"can i help you?"
she couldn't be there for Logan. maybe she was with Colin or Finn? oh, don't be stupid. she was definitely there with Logan.
Bell's thoughts were confirmed when she heard his voice. as she stood, about to ask the question — she could tell he was in his bedroom from the way his voice echoed against the walls.
"who is it?"
she was indeed there with him. and they were up to god knows what — "you know what, this is 209? i meant to be at 219, sorry"
the blonde rolled her eyes and shut the door, not even giving Bell a chance to walk away first.
she didn't know how to feel. it stung, knowing he was with somebody — but she had no right, they weren't together. he didn't know her feelings for him — he might not have even had feelings back.
and yet she felt jealousy, rage, sadness — every emotion she desperately wanted to erase.
she knew what she had to do.
it all hurt worse, because all the previous wounds she'd suffered, hadn't healed. as much as she wanted to ignore and push them away — they were very much there.
so she went home.
Bell went home to stars hollow, her first stop: Lukes.
as soon as she stepped foot inside, his concern grew as she had the saddest eyes possible.
"what's wrong?"
"can i have Jess' number?"
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✧˖°࿐·̩͙✧ CLOSURE. who knew how much a person needed it.
Bellamy sat in her childhood bedroom, covered up in a mass of halloween blankets as she dialed the number written down on a piece of paper.
she took a deep breath in, exhaling as she pressed the call button and held the phone up to her ear. was she ready for this?
yes.
it was past due.
as she listened to the dial tone, her body jolted at the sound of his voice. so much emotion, her fingers started to shake — but she maintained her composure.
"hello?"
"Jess?" on the other side of the phone, in new jersey sat Jess Mariano in a bookstore. he widened his eyes, he'd recognize her voice anywhere.
"Bella" he breathed out, surprised that she called. "what's going on?" he asked— he wondered if she was calling him because she wanted to talk to him, or if something happened that made her call him.
"i just . . why are guys such jerks?"
he let out a slight chuckle.
"because we're idiots"
"you can say that again." she nodded, twiddling with her fingers. "so uh . ." she tried getting to the point, what was her point? why was she doing this again?
oh yeah, closure.
how do you even get closure?
acceptance.
"i forgive you."
"what?"
"i forgive you. i don't know what happened that day . . and i'd rather not know — but it's not important anymore. i'm ready to move on, really move on. i spent so many hours being angry at you, at Rory — but i'm done doing that, Jess." she began her explanation.
it took a lot, she didn't realize how much she had to say. "we weren't right for each other, i know that now. you were my best friend, though. i do miss that. anyways — back to the point, I forgive you."
he took it all in, the guilt didn't magically wash away. but there was a slight relief he felt. he'd never forgive himself for losing her, let alone by hurting her more than any person had done before.
"i hope you find your person" he spoke. he didn't know what else to say, but he appreciated her forgiveness. it was sort of closure for him, as well.
"hey, at least now i can wish you the best, right?" she poked fun at their not-so-fun-last-encounter.
"take care, Mariano."
"you too, Gilmore."
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Filler Iller Chiller Biller Lol!!!!!!! sry so late i'm officially a #collegegirl now so sorree xoxo, cherry lmk ur opinions rn.
