The Idol who can't smile

Chapter 5.

With a smile, the nurse greeted me. He had just brought a new oxygen tank and was rolling it past me. The taller man looked at me, "You're back. He seems to be doing better today than a few days ago. The fever has dropped dramatically and is within the normal range. If you'd like, you can go to him. He's in the garden," the nurse said with a smile.

Understanding, I nodded and thanked the older man. Shortly after, I made my way to the garden. I spotted him from a distance. He was sitting in his wheelchair, his hands on his thighs, his gaze fixed on the sunflowers. Nervously, I took several deep breaths.

"Hey, Dad," I said as I approached him, but I also kept some distance. He turned his head toward me and then looked back at the flowers. As he had done so many times before, he remained silent. He just didn't talk to me. I didn't know what was better... Him not speaking to me? Or him cursing me?

"I heard your fever has gone down," I said. But it was futile. It was as if I were talking to a wall. Sighing, I sat down on the garden bench. His eyes, however, remained fixed on the sunflowers in front of him. I, too, looked at the flowers. My mother's favorite flowers...

He had loved my mother with all his heart... What would it be like if he loved me too? What kind of feeling would that be?

I swallowed and stayed quiet. Painful minutes passed during which we simply stared at each other in silence. I licked my lips, "If there's anything you need, Dad. I can get it for you. You just have to say it," I finally spoke after what felt like an eternity. My elderly father looked at me. His gaze stern and twisted. As usual, he didn't answer and looked at the flowers again.

My chest always felt so heavy when I was here. It felt... hopeless. He would never love me. No matter what I did. No matter if I got good grades. No matter if I became rich. No matter if I became famous. Nothing could make him look at me even once. Even when I was sick or got drunk on purpose... He never worried about me. No wonder... I wasn't meant to live for him.

After several minutes, the nurse came into the garden. He looked at me with pity and gave me an encouraging smile. After a brief explanation, he wheeled my father into the bedroom. It seemed it was time for medication and a nap. I headed to the door and put on my shoes there.

"Y/N," I heard, and I turned to the nurse. He smiled politely and handed me a bag, "Good luck with your comeback and belated congratulations," he said with a smile. Surprised, my eyes widened. I bowed to the taller man, "Thank you," I replied and said goodbye to him.

Several years had passed since he started taking care of my father. Of course, he had to sign a confidentiality agreement. I didn't want... anyone to know about my father. It would only stress him out even more...

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I entered the studio and placed the cake in the fridge. Then I headed to the sound studio. Minji seemed to be in the middle of recording her part. So, I patiently waited outside the door. Naturally, I took my phone out of my pocket and scrolled through Instagram and TikTok.

My eyebrows raised in surprise. I blinked several times as I noticed a hashtag that involved my name and Yuna's name. I clicked on it and was instantly presented with thousands of videos. I clicked on the most popular ones. My gaze fixed on one video.

The first video showed Yuna and Hyein as MCs at the Jamboree concert. Since it was raining, Yuna seemed to have mistaken our group for hers. Minji and Yuna had a short interaction, both of them started laughing. Yuna's eyes then fell on me. I chuckled, which made Yuna shyly approach me.

The video ended there, but no one knew that Yuna was actually asking me if I had seen Yeji, Ryujin, or Chaeryeong. Unfortunately, Lia wasn't there that day. I smiled and continued scrolling. I came across a similar video where it showed me helping Yuna find the others, and we briefly hugged.