[irl, texts, irl!]
—————
[irl!]
LILY DIDN'T KNOW HOW SHE was even going to explain the situation. or how to even speak.
how does she tell her best friend that she's screwed things up with chris?
to be technical, it could be seen as that matt screwed it up, but lily refuses to see it that way. especially with the fact that she only blames herself.
it certainly would be easier to blame someone else, but she's not going to do that—even though a part of her wants to do that because it would be easy for her to just push chris away, so that she could spare him the pain that she could and already has caused him.
with a deep sigh, lily leans over her legs anxiously, almost not even noticing the abrupt shaking and bouncing of her legs.
she lets out a breath, moving to check her phone for the time.
10:50 p.m.
with an anxious breath leaving her lips, she sets her phone back on the arm rest of the couch with the screen flat down.
another second later and she's quickly startled, jumping in surprise when her phone suddenly goes off.
anxious thoughts of wondering if elliot canceled on her because she actually doesn't want anything to do with her completely overwhelms her.
with a shaky breath, she grabs her phone and unlocks it, only becoming more anxious by the unexpected person that just texted her.
she freezes, quiet and hesitant for a second, before typing out a response, despite the tears that fill her eyes and fall down to her cheeks.
—————
[texts!]
matthew 🧸 — matt
lily 🤞🏻 — lily
matthew 🧸
hey
read at 10:51 p.m.
lily 🤞🏻
oh hey
matthew 🧸
how r u doing??
lily 🤞🏻
lol do u want the real answer?
matthew 🧸
i'm seriously so sorry
for everything
read at 10:56 p.m.
i didn't mean to cause of all of this drama
lily 🤞🏻
i know matt.
it's okay
matthew 🧸
but it's not
i genuinely thought that u had already told chris
but that's on me.
lily 🤞🏻
matt it's okay
it's my own fault for waiting so long to tell him
and to be honest?
i think a part of me was avoiding talking to him abt it bc i was scared
matthew 🧸
why were u scared?
lily 🤞🏻
i guess it's bc i've grown to rlly value him and our friendship
and i was just worried that once he heard abt it, he would've believed the fans abt it
and if i'm being COMPLETELY honest, i've known deep down that i don't deserve to have him or any of u guys in my life.
matthew 🧸
u know that's not true tho
lily 🤞🏻
it is.
bc well i destroy everything i touch.
and i've clearly already ruined everything.
like i always do.
YOU ARE READING
𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐀𝐍 - 𝑪𝑯𝑹𝑰𝑺 𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑶𝑳𝑶.
Fanfiction❝ we've been over this, how many times, i'm not going to leave - you have me in your life and that's not going to change. ❞ - in which, lily quinn has faced all of her problems on her own - her against the world. well, at least until chris sturniolo...
