Different Worlds

SEVENTEEN - EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT

Sebastian's POV

As soon as we exited the Ministry I apparated home. I didn't even say goodbye to Ominis, I couldn't care less now. I landed in the kitchen. The house felt cold since nobody was here for almost two weeks. My heart sank when I saw the empty plate and mug on the table, remembering the day I prepared breakfast for her even though I couldn't stand her at the time.

I know I should be happy. Alex was safe and me and my best friends were able to avoid Azkaban. It was my worst nightmare since the catacomb. But the only thing I could think of right now was here and that she did not know who I was anymore that I even exist.

It was kind of unreal for me. Everything happened so quickly. It felt like yesterday when she stormed into my life like an avalanche, absolutely unbearable and annoying. But not even two weeks later my view on her completely changed. She was strong, brave, smart and beautiful. When she warmed up to me I could see the girl Alex was talking about. The sweet and kind girl who was defending him from the moment they met.

Every time I blinked I could still see her piercing blue eyes, filled with tears, looking at me for the last time before the spell hit her head and erased every single memory of me. Before they took her from me. I lost her before I even had a chance to make her mine.

I was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. I decided the best thing I could do right now was go to sleep. The bed felt cold and empty. I remembered every time she woke up in my arms, her soft hair widely spread all over my chest, looking peaceful and innocent and I realized I would like to wake up like this for the rest of my life. And that actually really scared me. How can I think about her like that? I still barely knew her and no she didn't know me at all now.

I was so conflicted and didn't know what to do now. I was hundred percent sure that the journey we went through together had a big impact on our relationship. If I tried to get back my spot in her life could it be the same without all the things we went through? I couldn't bear the thought she could hate me again. Also there was still the secrecy law. I couldn't lie to her again, I couldn't hide this big portion of my life from her. And who knows what they could do to us if we broke the rule again. I would put not only me and her but also Ominis and Alex in danger. Was it worth it?

Somewhere in the middle of my train of thoughts the exhaustion finally won and I fell asleep. And it wasn't a pleasant one. Nightmare after nightmare and all of them had the same plot. The whole night I was losing her over and over again - because of Mongrels, because of injuries, because of Obscurus, because of Carman, because of the Ministry.

But the worst one was because of me.

The wicked green light filled up the room we were in.

Her tiny body crumbled to the ground.

Her beautiful blue eyes wide opened, without a hint of life, staring into space.

Dead.

The only other person in the room was me, my wand still raised in the air, residue of the curse still angrily crackling on the tip of it.

I woke up covered in sweat, my heart was pounding like crazy. I got up from the bed, lit the fire in the fireplace to warm the house and took a quick shower to wash down all the nightmares. The silence in the house was kind of deafening and I was hoping that Alex would come back soon. I was sitting in the kitchen, sipping some tea, deep in my thoughts thinking what to do. One thing was clear. I knew I needed to get out of this house and there were only two options. I could go get another job from Gringotts or go see Sophie.