Light Into Darkness x Michaeng

Nightmares and Conversations

"Seriously, Mina? Did you seriously just try and kick me in the face? I thought you were joking." Jihyo grabbed Mina's foot and kicked her other foot out from under her, knocking her onto her back on the mat.

Mina grunted, "I told you not to call me kiddo."

Jihyo rolled her eyes and pinned Mina. "So are you going to talk about this with me or not?"

"Nothing to talk about."

Jihyo let go of Mina. She sat down on the mat next to her sparring partner. "There is. You kicked Chaeyoung out three hours ago because you freaked out. And I get it, I do. You're scared that she will end up like Jeongyeon. But she isn't her, Minari. I know you miss Jeongyeon but that doesn't mean that Chaeyoung will end up like her."

"I can't guarantee that she won't!" Mina snapped.

"Who's to say I won't end up like Jeongyeon? Or Sana? We could both die tomorrow and you will have to bury us in the ground in some shitty coffin like you did her."

Mina stood up, "That's really comforting, Jihyo. Thanks." She didn't need to be even more stressed out thinking about the only two people in her life she really cared about dying. Dying and leaving her by herself in this shitty life.

Jihyo groaned, "You know what I mean! There's no guarantee that any of us will see tomorrow, so why are you doing this? Why are you making it so that you are destined to be lonely for the rest of your life?"

Mina walked away from the mat in the living room. She heard Jihyo call out to her as she slammed the bathroom door closed. She didn't need this.

Mina stripped out of her black sports bra and spandex shorts, turning the water in the shower on. She turned it on hot, wanting to feel it pound against her skin, burning and stinging. Anything to feel something other than the pain in her heart.

Not everyone around you is going to die like she did. Who's to say I won't end up like Jeongyeon? Or Sana? We could both die tomorrow and you will have to bury us in the ground in some shitty coffin like you did her. Jihyo was right about that. Everyone dies. Everything in the world dies sooner or later. While it was the sooner ones that hurt the most, Mina didn't want to experience that kind of pain ever again. It was inevitable unless she died first.

She put her face under the steaming spray of water. It was easier for her to ignore the tears stinging behind her eyelids this way. Mina pulled away to breathe but it came out in a rattled sigh. She swallowed hard and tilted her head up to the ceiling. Why does life have to be so hard? Why does life have to hurt this much?

It took Mina a while to fall asleep that night. The stress of Chaeyoung and Jihyo's words had yet to leave her mind. When she finally did get her mind to shut down and get to sleep, it was restless. She tossed and turned for a few hours before her brain turned on her.

It was the same recurring nightmare that she's had since the accident. In the last few months it only happened when Mina was very stressed out, upset, or ill. Tonight was prime time for it.

The streets were quiet as Mina pulled out of her parents' driveway. The suburbs were always quiet at night. All the parents dragged their kids in after dark to keep them out of trouble, and without any businesses in the neighbourhood, there were no pedestrians. Mina liked the quiet.

"So tomorrow we have that little party for work, remember, Minari?" Jeongyeon glanced over to her girlfriend.

Mina nodded. "Yes, I remember. Let's hope this time you don't get so drunk," she teased.

Jeongyeon slapped her arm and Mina laughed. "I didn't get drunk!"

"I had to carry you into the apartment, Jeong. I don't think I have ever seen you that drunk before."