Requested by: __tsumi__
A/N: I do not know too much about anxiety so I tried to research and do my best, sorry if it is not accurate!
Jungwon POV
My members knew almost everything about me, Except this.
I had been suffering from anxiety and insomnia since I-land days. I had been getting therapy for a couple months. Being leader at such a young age was also not helping but I did not want to give that up. I also did not want to tell my members because I did not want to be an extra worry or anything, and I did not want to seem weak. I went for therapy every alternate day. My members did question me but I just gave an excuse. My manager and company knew about this and I told them not to tell my members.
Right now I was at practise with my members. We were going over the dance for our new song called "Criminal Love". It was really hard. I did not know the time right now but I had a therapy session at 7pm. I thought it was 5pm right now.
We went on break and I checked my phone and it was 6:45. I was late!
"Omg! Guys I am so so sorry but I have to go right now!" I shouted.
"What why? We are practising Jungwon!" Scolded Jay
"I am sorry I can not tell you why! I just need to go!" I answered.
"No! You can not go until you give me a proper reason." Jay sternly said
"Hyung I just can not right now I really need to go!" I said said a little louder than I hoped.
"Jungwon how can you leave when we are not even coordinated and done, it is almost as if you do not even care about the team!" Jay shout, angry.
W-what did he just say, I do not care about the team? With that I just dashed out of the room and instead of going to therapy, I went home and locked myself in a room.
Jay POV
Oh shit! What did I just say? Is it my fault? No right? He is the one who wanted to leave the team at its worse and ran out, right? Its not my fault?
"Jay, why would you say that! You know how much he does for us!" Scolded Heeseung
"I don't what took over me! But it is not my fault he ran out of the room!" I replied
Jungwon POV
I sat in bed silently crying. Thinking about how I am useless. Then I got a call from my therapist.
"Jungwon why did you not come?"
"Oh sorry Noona, i forgot to tell you, I would not be coming for a while." I said planning not to go for a while.
"Oh it is fine do not worry." She sweetly said.
I ended the call and heard my members coming in. Then I was reminded of what Jay hyung said.
A few weeks later
Ever since Jay hyung said that, I would only come out of my room to practise and eat once in a while. I had become alarmingly skinny but it did not affect me. Every time I came out of my room I would feel like my every move is being judged. I would get so nerves. I also have been gatting barely any sleep.
Heeseung POV
I think everyone had noticed we would hardly see Jungwon even since the incident in the practise room. When he would come out, he looked terrified and alarmingly skinny. I had enough so i decided to ask our manager about it.
OTP
Heesung: Bold+ Italic
Manager: Bold
Hey Hyung?
Yes Heesung? What happened?
Well do you know what is going on with Jungwon?
No? I was going to ask you later, he never shows up to meeting like he used to.
Oh, because he barely comes out of his room and is very skinny and looks terrified. This all started after the incident.
Huh? What incident?
Oh, one day at practise, we were doing "Criminal Love" and he said he was late and had to go. Then Jay got mad and told him " Its almost as if you do not care about the team", then Jungwon dashed out and he has been like this since then.
OMG! He has anxiety! Of course he would behave like this after being told that, and he needed to go to therapy! You need to get him to go to therapy again. This is the number of this therapist! Ph:xx xxxxx xxxxx
Well why did he not tell us!? And since when!?
He did not want to be a worry and seem weak. He has had anxiety and insomnia since I-land.
Well thank you hyung but I hair to go right now!
Ya, ok bye.
*Call ended*
"GUYS! Come here right now!" I shouted
Soon everyone was there, well except Jungwon.
"What happened Hyung?" Asked Sunghoon
"Jungwon has anxiety and insomnia! That is why he has been like this!" I quickly stated
"WHAT, so you are telling me I caused this! Omg, how could I say that to him!" Shouted Jay.
"What do we do? I want the old Jungwon back" Said Sunoo
"Well that day, he needed to go for therapy, so our manager said we NEED to call this therapist home and help him" I said.
Soon we called Jungwon's therapist home and she started helping him. Over time, we got Jungwon to be comfortable and we all helped him. We made sure to always be there for him and never trigger his anxiety.
Jungwon POV
Therapist Noona helped me a lot but no one helped me more then my members. They made me so comfortable but never made me feel like a sick person. I do not know what I would do without them.
Words: 945
A/N: Sorry it took so long to put this out. I am really sorry if it was not what you were looking for but I tried my best. It is probably not accurate but ty. And this is prob the most long chap I have ever written for anything-
