The Heart of Ice

Chapter 2

Killian

The crown sits tilted on my head, roses and thorns tangled within its black diamonds.

I haven't spoken a word since my most recent kill. The prisoner's blood still stains my marble floors. I can't help but think about what I've become—and remember what I was, who I was before the dark ice swallowed me whole, leaving little to no air for me to breathe. Only darkness. So, so much darkness.

On the nights I do remember, which rarely happens, I remember a boy who used to smile. And laugh. And run like he had the entire world at his feet. That was only when she was around though. When I was with her, nothing other than myself and my family mattered. I was happy. I was a kid. And then I got her killed. She died in my arms, a weak smile tugging at her lips, blood spewing everywhere. She wasn't my mother, of course not, but she was the closest thing I had to one. My lifeline.

I'm ashamed to even be alive, living with the fact that she isn't. Living with the fact that I rule a Kingdom I don't want, in a castle I hate, with an army that probably wishes I were dead. Can you blame them?

The things I've done . . .

Murdered. Tortured. Breathed. Lived. It's crucial to think about. Sometimes, I even wonder about which thing is worse. Being taken in by a woman who deserved better, feeling like I was part of a genuine family, and then having all that taken away from me, or maybe it was being imprisoned for the death of my parents, just to become The Ice King years later.

Then again, it could also be the brewing nightmare I call my mind, the thoughts I have, the stuff those thoughts make me do. I can't count how many times I've had to watch the life fade from my citizens' eyes as I froze any sign of their heartbeat with my Ice ability until they dropped dead.

I didn't want this—any of it. She didn't want this for me either, though we both knew it was coming. I felt so helpless, trapped in a vast sea of deaths. So, so many deaths that I keep reliving. Over and over. My skin, my life, my soul, it's poison to anyone who gets too close. They all die in the end.

"Must you be so sad all the time? It's quite depressing," The Winter God, Boreas, whispers in the back of my skull. He's been there since the day I was crowned Ice King, downfall to the throne. I always guessed that it was just some side effect of becoming King.

"If you don't like it, get the hell out of my head," I muster with as much harshness as I can. The guards align my throne snap to me, confused looks on their faces. They probably think I'm insane, and I, quite frankly, don't blame them. Part of me feels I've gone insane too—the dark, mental part of me.

"You know I can't do that. Besides, I don't understand why you won't just give in to me, boy. The Kings that came before you did—I have many things to offer you, too." Its voice feels like a blizzard against my skin, cold and deadly. "Anything you want to offer me, I can get on my own. I don't need anything from you."

"That may be true, but you can't give yourself eternal strength, boy. Only I can do that. Just give in to me."

To be honest, I didn't think she would be gone so fast—when Freya collapsed to the floor after being gutted by a group of Royal guards, gasping with the little air she had left. I remember her reaching out to me, for help, and like a damn fool, I went for her, not knowing how much it would break me. I held her in my arms tightly, as if I were to let go, I would float into a devastating void of insanity.

She had tears rolling down her cheeks, and her hands set close to her chest. She was ready to die for me. The woman, whom I had barely known at the time, loved me and was willing to take her final breath in our Kingdoms square, as long as I and Everett had lived a life of freedom.