Drowning

Two

Trigger warning:
For anyone who struggles with self-harm, I put the start and end at where it begins so please be safe while reading I won't be offended if you need to skip that part or this chapter. It was tough for me to write but it's an important topic and it's important to Charlie's mental health.

Hope you guys like it!

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Anxiety ached in my chest; I felt as if I'd been stabbed as Tori and I got home. When my parents called for me I froze like a deer would in headlights. I glanced over at Tori, begging for her to come with me.

The school must've called them, they must know...Why else would they both be home from work this early just to talk to me?

Tori was about to walk over with me, but my mom noticed before she could. "Tori, can you go check on Oliver?" Jane asked. Tori tried to protest but mom interrupted by pointing up the stairs, meaning that she wanted to talk to me alone...

I stayed where I was. I was unable to move feeling like my feet had been glued to the floor.

"Just, call my name if you need me," Tori whispered to me before walking upstairs. The feeling of safety left my side as soon as she left the room.

"Uhm...You guys are home early." I tried to play dumb, but my voice came out all high-pitched and squeaky.

My dad looked at me with worry in his eyes while my mom just looked pissed off.

"You know exactly why I'm home early Charles." Jane snapped. Ah, shit; when she calls me Charles it just means I'm in trouble. Relief washed over me, maybe they don't know that I'm gay like I thought.

Julio rubbed Jane's arm trying to calm her down. "Charlie...We got a call from your algebra teacher. She said that you never showed up to class and that you ran out of the school building. What is going on?" Julio asked in a calmer tone.

I fiddled with my school uniform jacket anxiously, taking a deep breath. I don't want to come out to them this way.

The bullying isn't that bad, I can manage it enough that I don't need to tell anyone just yet. Tears of frustration formed in my eyes, what did I do to deserve this?

"Well?" Jane quizzed, getting more aggravated by the second because of my delayed answer.

"I had a bad headache so I skipped my last class. So what?" I lied, not meaning for it to come out so sassy, but I'm just done with everything.

"So what? You're grounded for two weeks, you can't skip class just for a headache." Jane decided, Julio nodded in agreement at his wife's decision.

For fuck sake, this is what I get for being outed at school? Maybe if I did tell them, they would be less hard on me about skipping class. But it's too late now.

"Give me your phone and go to your room." My dad ordered.

I got up, handing over my phone in defeat, and walked upstairs.

A feeling of numbness washed over me. I just wanted to stop feeling all together.

My parents are against me for skipping class while the whole school thinks I'm disgusting just because I like guys. I slammed my bedroom door shut, rubbing my face roughly.

(Start of TW) My arm aches once again, my mind going blurry as I walked into the bathroom. My hand grabbed anything sharp in sight. I don't know why I thought of self harm in the first place but maybe I can control my own pain this way.
Even if it would make everything worse I would be in control of something in my life, of this bad habit. I made a few cuts going down my arm, my mind still blank not realizing what I was doing...

(End of TW)

"Charlie?" Tori's voice echoed throughout my bedroom.

Shit,

shit,

shit,

Fuck. She wanted to check to make sure I was okay, when in reality I'm nothing but okay. How would Tori react if she found out what I did to myself? "One second!" I called in a panic, trying to hide the evidence of what I just did.

I pulled on my hoodie to hide my arms, for fuck sake why did I do this to myself? I peaked out of my bathroom and forced a smile.

"So...You aren't telling mom and dad yet?" Tori sat down on my bed. I walked over, rubbing my head that throbbed in pain before sitting next to her.

"Not yet. I don't want to come out to them this way." I explained, cursing as my voice went shaky showing that I wasn't okay.

Tori nodded and hugged me close, I clung onto her ignoring the way my arms stung against my sleeves. Why did that sting feel...Good?

"I'm not thrilled that nobody knows about the bullying...As soon as it goes bad you better tell someone." Tori ordered. I nodded and leaned more into Tori.

Tori smiled sadly at me, "You must be exhausted. I'll let you rest." She ruffled my hair before leaving my bedroom.

Part of me wanted to beg Tori to come back, but the other part of me didn't want to bother her with my bullshit.

Nobody should have to deal with my bullshit but me.