Shiv Shakti - The Mountains Bound Us! (Haimavati)

A Dilemma Of The Heart

Brahma and Vishnu were getting worried seeing Parvati's condition so they decided to visit Shiva.

On the other hand, since the day Kam Dev was killed, Shiva had retreated from everything and had made the cremation ground his dwelling place. He was sitting around the burnt pyres, covered in ash when Brahma along with Saraswati, Vishnu and Lakshmi came to visit him. Shiva opened his eyes and acknowledged his visitors.

"Why are you here?" he asked.

"The reason is not unknown to you, Mahadev. We are here to request you to accept Devi Parvati. She is in Sadhana" Brahma said.

Shiva looked away and stayed silent. Vishnu approached him.

"Sakha, I can understand your feelings but you have to understand as well that it is high time Shiva and Shakti reunites again. This universe needs you. And you have probably seen yourself how much Parvati is suffering to get you. Are you okay with her doing such intense austerities?"

Shiva still didn't say anything but a glimmer of tears could be seen at the corner of his eyes.

"Mahadev, Parvati is your other half. You two are not different from each other, then why are you keeping her away?" Saraswati asked.

Now Shiva turned to look at them.

"Because.... None of you had to go through what I went through when I lost Sati. Love always results in pain and I don't think I can tolerate that anymore. I cannot accept her like this. It is for her own good. I only want to protect her. That's it."

Lakshmi was about to say something but Vishnu stopped her. He gestured that they should leave him alone for then. So all of them left and Shiva closed his eyes again as he saw Parvati in meditation. He too could feel the heat and the chill and all the pain that Parvati had taken upon herself. He sat there in silence as he remembered his life with Sati. Their first meeting. Their wedding and the blissful life they had untill she left him forever. The intense pain and sorrow that he had felt then was still present in him somewhere but then he also remembered meeting Parvati and her daily visits to him. The longing eyes with which they would look at each other but would not do anything. Vishnu was right. They were insufferable. He also remembered the terror on her face when he burnt Kam Dev to ashes and it hurt him. He was lost in his thoughts like that when he felt somebody brushing his shoulders. He knew that touch.

"Look what condition you have made of yourself"

He turned to his side and saw Mahamaya standing beside him, brushing off ashes from his shoulders. His eyes widened as she came in front of him.

"What are you doing here? You are supposed to be...." he didn't finish. Shakti smiled.

"Bholenath, just like you are omnipresent, I too as Shakti am present everywhere. I might be physically residing as Parvati and is doing tap but my permanent place is in your heart. I am here as the reflection of the Shakti that you carry in your heart. The love that you have for me. "

Shiva stared at her. Shakti gently touched his face and wiped off the tear that had rolled down.

"Why are you keeping me away? I am trying to reach you but you are ignoring me. Why?" She said.
Shiva stood up and went near her.

"Because.... I have seen what happens when you take birth as human. I've already lost you once as Sati. I don't want to repeat that. I can't let what happened to Sati happen once more" he said with a deep yet shaky voice. Shakti sighed and held his hands.

"I think it's time you let go off Sati, Shiva. The purpose of her birth was fulfilled. Sati had taken birth to destroy Daksha's ego and she had done it. That's why she had to go but Shakti 's goal wasn't complete. That is why I came back again in a new form. Sati is your past. How long will you hold on to your past? Parvati is your present and future. How can you hold on to your past and neglect your present and future? You are Mahakaal!" Mahamaya said. Shiva looked at her with glistening eyes.

"But Parvati hasn't retained herself as Shakti yet" he said.

"She is in the process and I will soon become complete as Adi Shakti. Will you not accept me then as well?"

Now Shiva held her cheek.

"How can Shiva not accept his Shakti? Without you, Shakti, this Shiva is just a shav. Lifeless."

Shakti smiled and gently placed a kiss on his forehead.

"I will wait for you. Like I always do..."

Saying so, she slowly started to move backwards and then disappeared. Shiva closed his eyes. He had seen her leave way too many times. He opened his eyes and then looked upon Parvati.