Biggest Regret

one

"can you please stop it Haeun? I'm busy with work." My boyfriend also my housemate, Luhan shout at me with an annoyed tone. 

"mianhe Luhan, I won't disturb you again." I said before walking out of our bedroom door.

I heard a little click sound telling me that he lock the door. I let out a sigh and sat on the couch tiredly. 

What happened to us?  I ask myself as I laid my head on the side rest.

Our relationship wasn't this bad before he finally got his dream job, the job he work hard for. Before he got his dream job, I felt loved, cared and treasured. But now I feel unloved, trashed and empty, I never have felt that feeling again.

Everyday he would come home late looking all messed up. I would wait for him until 1 am in the morning and sit there. I never knew it would turn out this way... He would ignore me and go out with his friends whenever he had spare time leaving me alone in this house. And when he has spare time while at home, he would make up excuse like 'I'm tired. I have been working all week', but when his friends call him to hang out, he gladly accept. Does he even care about me? Does he look at me like he did before? Did he... fall out of love?

I shook off the thoughts and turned on the TV, watching my favourite group, BTS.

Knock knock

I stand up and open the door finding Luhan's work partner standing at the door, Eunha 

"Oh... it's you." She 'greet' me. 

"What do you want?" I asked with a poker face. 

"I need to give this file to Luhan." She answer as she show the file to me. I look at it before stare up at her again. 

"Here let me give it to him." I said as I was about to grab it. 

"No! I will give it!" She shouted, pulling it away from me.

I gave her a glare before she push me and 'invite' herself inside. She knock on our bedroom door and waited for Luhan to open. 

"Haeun, stop disturbing me!" Luhan shouted from the other side of the door.

Eunha turned her head to look at me before laughing wholeheartedly. She knock on it again and waited for Luhan to answer. 

"Haeun! How many times do I have to--" He paused once he opened the door finding Eunha standing there smiling at him. "Oh, Eunha!" He smiled at her.

My glaring eyes turned into a sad painful one. Right now I'm looking at Luhan smiling to another girl... His smile look happy and cheerful, like the ones he used to give me back in those days... 

those days when I felt loved and treasured. My heart cracked into pieces as I looked at those eyes he was giving her. Happy, playful, cheerful ones. He looked so happy seeing her... 

"Okay Luhan, see you tomorrow." She smile and walked off.

She stopped just beside me and whispered, "Seems like your relationship isn't working out. I'm not surprised." 

She gave me a smirk before leading her way out the door.

Hearing the door close, I looked at Luhan. He was also looking at me with annoy eyes. 

Why weren't they happy cheerful eyes like the ones he gave her? 

Why isn't he smiling like he smile at her? 

Why isn't he acting happy like he was to her?

Questions piled up in my head like a tower. Leaving the questions unanswered, I shake my head and looked away from those eyes he was giving me. 

"Can you stop looking at Eunha noona like that?" He asked breaking the ice. 

"Like what?" I questioned him. 

"Stop pretending you don't know Haeun. I saw it so clearly." He said in a harsh tone. 

"Saw what so clearly? I don't understand." I replied. 

"Can you stop acting like a smarty pants? I saw those glares you were giving her. What did she ever do to you that made you look at her like that?" He asked as he raised his tone. 

"Did you even know what she did to me before?! So why are you acting as if you knew? Why are you judging me like this? Why are you on that bitch side?!" I shouted ever so loudly. 

"I may not know what happened but you don't have to do that! Wouldn't it make it worse? Mark your word, she is not a bitch! She helped me get this job and I'm sure she'll help you too, if you don't act like that in front of her! Why are you acting like a bitch now?" He shout back at me.

I stopped breathing once he called me a bitch. 

Did he really call me that? 

But when I call Eunha that, he doesn't care? 

"Why are you on her side? Am I not your girlfriend?" I asked as I lowered my tone. 

"..." 

"Do you love her? Do you love her so much that you're risking our relationship for her?" I asked as tears escaped from my eyes. 

"..."

I wipe my tear with the back of my hand before walking to the door and opening it.

Just before I was going to walk out, I whispered, "I'll be back soon... I need some time alone."