Save me from this Novel! (long updates/Hiatus)

The beginning

A male student, whose hair is like charcoal, like one of the plain normal nerds you have in the classroom; one who is quiet and has social anxiety. Flinging his head side to side, eyes bottled in boredom as he stares at the sunset while sitting at the hard wooden bench.

Such a peaceful evening to relax and lay down in the grass, but his thoughts aren't peaceful like the setting sun and warm sky. His thoughts were sad rainy clouds and all blue.

He closed his eyes, pitching darkness coming to him; bringing a flash of memories to his head like a blink of an eye, a fast motion picture that he made from the past.

At the very moment of his life until childhood to adolescence, he was a lone sheep through those years when he's parents died and no relatives are willing to take him in, treating him as a stranger and an outcast than a family member. He felt there was a plot of a hole that digged in his chest, and he wasn't daring to fill the gap, more like he felt tired and unenergetic to do so. He gained friends from highschool, despite that he felt lonely inside. It wasn't his friends fault, but himself. He blamed the person he became to be and didn't seek support or help. Always prefer to be alone and not to be a burden to anyone.

He wondered why he existed, or why he was born? He feels mentally exhausted everyday, but his body is fine.

When he opened his eyes, he saw a boy who was the same age as him, staring back at him with pastel lavender eyes, wearing a bored face. He realized there were people behind him that were wearing the same uniform and well mannered postures. The boy touched the boy and the other boy with lavender eyes did the same as him, touching each other's hands, he soon realized another thing; he's touching a cold surface of the mirror.

"... I forget I was 'him'."