To The 9th Degree || SKZ

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2023.06.03

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Y/n wakes up early and stares up at her ceiling with a gaping hole in her chest. She doesn't want to move. She doesn't want to do much of anything really. It'd actually be really nice if her heart just stopped beating altogether, then it wouldn't hurt so damn much.

Oh, get over yourself, Y/n, she thinks. Shouldn't've expected anything from them, let it go.

Y/n pulls herself up out of her dull bed and reminds herself to buy stuff to decorate her room. She'll nest when she's more comfortable in the penthouse. With how heavy her heart feels, she wants nothing more than to be curled up in a ball in her nest but she's not sure it's safe enough for her to do that right now. She stares longingly at the suitcases holding her nesting materials in the back of her closet and sighs, brushing her black and red hair out of her face.

Y/n does a small workout to wake herself up and get her muscles looking nice before she washes up and puts on another cute outfit for the day. She heads into the living room and listens out for the others. It's still quiet so they must still be asleep. She is up pretty early though, so Y/n slips on her earphones and plays her pretty playlist... code for depressing ass songs that make her cry and feel lonely and makes breakfast so they won't have to order it later. She measures all the calories to make sure they fit everyone's comeback diet and loses herself in the rhythms of cooking.

Once she finishes, she sets the table with the food and tableware. She knows the members are awake by now having heard some noises between songs. It's as she's cleaning the dishes that a specific song plays and it triggers that ache in her heart again and she bites back a small whimper, rapidly blinking away the sudden tears in her eyes. She can smell some of the members in the dining room but doesn't turn to greet them as she hums Tightrope from The Greatest Showman to herself.

The message of the song isn't exact but it's similar to how she feels so she keeps it on, scrubbing all the utensils, pots, and pans. Once she's done, she turns around to see the members eating. She ducks her head before she accidentally meets their gaze, makes her plate, and sits at the island, keeping her earphones in to eat by herself.

She scowls as a really sad song plays and tugs her phone out of her back pocket to change the playlist, deciding she's quite done with emotions for the morning.

"Y/n?"

She tenses but sighs, swallowing her food and turning around on the stool as she tugs out one of her earphones. "Hey, guys. Morning."

She doesn't directly meet any of their gaze, sticking to their nose or forehead and multiple members notice.

Chan stares at her, his body aching to comfort her, see if she's okay. "You okay?"

Y/n presses her lips in a line. "'M fine. How's breakfast?"

"Amazing," Seungmin grumbles with food in his mouth and she chuckles, giving a genuine smile. "That's good."

"Thank you for cooking," Minho says, staring her down and trying to get her to meet his gaze but she never does.

Y/n nods, ducking her head. "Of course. Glad you guys like it."

"How'd you sleep, maknae?" Jeongin asks.

Everyone pauses and stares between them. Minho stares Jeongin down with a withering glare but the alpha doesn't acknowledge it. Y/n meets his gaze and resists the urge to recoil at the dead look in his eyes. It's almost like he doesn't truly care by how expressionless his face is.