call it what you want

8. drunk texts and drag race

The next day back at Nelson Road, Ted dropped the absolute bombshell that he had slept with the mystery woman from the night before who turned out to be Rebecca's best friend Sassy.

"Look, it's just not something I've ever done before, okay? And look, hey, I got no judgment on people that have one-night stands, okay?" Ted stood pacing around his corner of the office while everyone remained in their respective positions. "I mean, if you are, you know, nuts for butts, have at it. That's what I say."

Vic furrowed her eyebrows not exactly enjoying hearing her uncle say all this. Beard spoke up, "Coach, did you have fun?"

"Come on, Coach. I don't like all that kiss-and-tell stuff." Vic put her feet up on her desk crossing her arms.

"Says you! You interrogated me whenever I went on a date!" She laughed leaning her head back trying to calm the hangover headache she had been nursing all day. It was true, everytime she went out with Emily, Ted and Beard would immediately text her asking her a million questions.

They were the only adults in her life she had told about her relationship with Emily, everyone else just assumed they were best friends. They were best friends, best friends that happened to kiss a lot.

"Actually that was all Beard's idea." She whipped her head up towards her other uncle, jaw dropped.

He shrugged casually before looking back to Ted, "Coach, did you have fun!" He smacked the table between each word trying emphasizing his point.

Ted sheepishly nodded as Vic relaxed her head back once again.

"And did she have fun?" Nate asked from his perch, face over a trash can. Ted was rocking his head around in an 'I don't know' fashion. "Yeah, that movement's making me feel queasy."

"Nate if you throw up, I'm gonna throw up and that's not gonna be fun for anyone involved." Nate had been sick on and off the whole morning making Vic's nausea worse.

Higgins spoke up from next to Beard turning the attention back to Ted, "Okay. So, then what's the problem?"

"I mean, maybe I just haven't really come to peace with the fact that I went from having a mental breakdown at a karaoke joint in Liverpool, to uhh, you know, sleeping with a woman I just met and then somewhere between there, getting a divorce."

Ted was going through a hard time and did things he normally wouldn't have done, Victoria had done the same, many, many times.

"It happens." Even with her head back and eyes closed she could feel all the men looking at her, "You don't know my life."

"Well, it makes sense to me." Beard added.

Nate finally looked up from his bucket, "I must say that this is lovely. Ever since I was little, I always used to dream about sitting down with a bunch of mates talking about the complex dynamics between men and women."

"You had weird dreams as a kid, I mean I used to think about cannibalism a lot as a child." Vic said, still not raising her head.

"That was my fault." Beard pointed out, "She watched Silence of the Lambs with me when she was 6, my bad." He threw his hands up for dramatic effect.

Everyone sat in silence for a second before Ted continued with his dilemma, "Okay, here's another question for y'all. Should I tell Rebecca?" A chorus of no's was echoed. "Come on now. Why not? I mean, it'd break my heart if I found out she was hiding something from me."

She definitely is. Especially with the whole sending Jamie back thing. I can't tell him my suspicions because he won't believe me. Beard might, but it's better not to risk it in case I'm wrong, he'd never let me live that down.