SEASON OF LOVE

CHAPTER 26:- ONE LAST TIME

I looked at him. I was shocked to hear all those things. I thought that they would change but no they won't change even if I die. I need to end my suffering. I can't take it anymore. I can't handle it anymore. They have crossed every limit. I can't let Nancy suffer because of me. It's best if I die. At least they all will be happy. You can't hold on to someone. Because the tighter you hold onto them the more they wanna slip away. All you can do is love them and make sure they know that you are never gonna slip away. I know I am the most selfish person right now but I just want to make things right. It all can happen if I am no more. They won't suffer anymore because of me. They won't see my annoying face anymore. Yeah, I do feel bad for Nancy. I know she said the most hurtful things but I know she never meant that. She has always loved and cared for me. She was the only one with me when people were drifting apart from me. She was the only hope that I had. I remember the first time we started talking, she was the person I got my laugh back. The reason I fell asleep with a smile on my face. The reason I had the motivation to do things again. The reason why my problems didn't seem so bad. She truly brought a meaning to my life. She truly has made my life better by being there.

Beautiful things grow to a certain height and then they fail and fade off, breathing out memories as they decay.

I wanted to be happy one last time. So I looked at our pictures on my phone. It was the funniest picture I have ever taken. I wanted to speak with her one last time. I wanted to say things to her one last time. So I thought of messaging her. I saved her contact, "MY LIFE❤️"

ONE LAST TIME

"Could you pretend to love me One Last time? Could you hold me in your arms One Last Time? Could you smile at me while sitting underneath the pine tree with our hands intertwined? Could you please love me One Last Time? Please just let me lean my head on yours and let's exchange the words, "I LOVE YOU," One Last Time. Could you please?" That's the first message I sent her. I wanted her to know how I felt her presence, her touch, her hugs, her kisses, and everything.

"I wish I was able to tell you that, it's different with you. I don't know why. I don't know how. But it's different. The way you smile. The way you talk. The way you sound when you laugh. I can listen to you for the whole day. I can stare at you for the whole night. I want to hear you more. I want to do for you more. I want you to understand me. I want you to know that it's different for you." That's the second message that I sent her. I waited for 5 minutes but she didn't see it. Maybe she was upset with me. I thought of leaving that message to her but what if she regrets saying those things to me her whole life? I don't want her to be in pain her whole life. I want her to forget me and start a new life again. I want her to be with someone who will cherish her his whole life. I want to be with someone more good than me. I want to see her happy and successful. I will always choose her. I will always love her.

Now it's time for me to finish everything. It's time for me to end my sufferings. It's time for me to end others' sufferings. I hope they all live a happy life and I wish them to see happiness. I want to tell them that I never wished anything bad for them. I always prayed for their life and I hope that they all have a smooth life. I am grateful for them that they have kept me with them. I am grateful for them that they have tolerated me for many years. And I am happy that all is coming to an end. I always wished to find happiness in my life and I found it with Nancy. I am sorry for everything. I am sorry for whatever you all had to go through because of me.

People never understand how long a person has craved to live a happy life, how many times they have already died before they finally choose to give up and I give up now in this moment.