Big girl problems

Chapter 20. The truth

3 years ago
Angie's Pov

"Don't be nervous, they are going to love you" Chelsea is in my flat, i had asked her to come over so we could get ready together. She is standing in front of the little mirror that hangs in my hallway putting on her peach matted lipstick, I can't help but watch the way she presses her lips together like a gold fish then gives herself a little smile, she is very pretty for a big girl which surprised me at first, I guess I'm just used to fat girls being ugly and unconfident. Chelsea and i both have similar curly hair, hers is brown though, mine is unmistakably ginger, i love my hair, i have always thought it was the most unique thing out me, i mean of course there are others out there who have curly hair, but i mean the sheer length and volume of my hair used to make me stand out, sort of like the princess in the disney movie Brave, but then Chelsea came along and her hair is equally as full if not bigger than mine, i think i might convince her to start straightening her hair, i catch her reflection looking at me through the mirror "is it really that obvious", i say, she has now moved on to applying mascara "yes, you keep biting on your bottom lip" i don't even realise i am doing it, but i stop instantly "so remind me again just who  im meeting today? What are they like?" We are meeting up with some of Chelsea's friends at an art gallery in central london, it was Chelsea's idea that i tag along, which is the reason why i had her come over, i did not want to walk into the venue on my own. It has only been a few months since Chelsea and i first met when she wondered into the jewellery store i work at, she was looking for a last minute birthday gift for her mother; I helped her pick out a silver bracelet similar to the Pandora style where she could customise it with different charms. She came back the next day to tell me how much her mother loved it, whenever she was passing by the store she always made the effort of popping in to say hi, one day i just invited her out after work with some work colleagues, i just got the vibe that she didn't have many friends. Well i was wrong and now I'm being dragged out of my home to meet them; i don't like being introduced to new people, i hate having to present the best version of myself and still feel like I'm being judged, and also having to answer the same boring questions over and over again, this is my version of hell "there will be quite a few of them there, we have Ashleigh and Courtney they are both sisters, and their partners Zaid and Malik also Sharon and her long time partner.. Benji" why did she take a pause before saying his name, do i detect a bit of history there between the two "so who is the boring art fanatic" i hate art, my idea of the worst evening is traipsing around a museum or gallery looking at dead peoples drawings, my biggest challenge tonight will possibly be trying not to fall asleep "that would be Benji" she does that pause again before saying his name "I'm sensing a bit of history between the two of you. So come on, dish the dirt" we have moved in to my kitchen and are having a glass of white wine before our taxi arrives, "Ew no way, he is a really cool guy. Its just something happened several months ago which made things a bit awkward between us thats all" i can't help but be intrigued, Chelsea is always going on about how perfect her friends are, that doesn't seem to be the case now "what happened?" She swallows a mouth full of wine then grabs the bottle off the counter top and pours more wine into her glass "Benji has drug issues, actually no, he had drug issues in the past, he is definitely clean and has been for the past 6 months now" so, Benji is a recovering drug addict, that isn't very shocking, "he did drugs, big deal, so have i, it isnt the big taboo it once was, especially if you've been his friend knowing he has an addiction. Or was he stealing from you to fund his habits?" Chelsea shakes her head "No, nothing like that. And yea i too did some drugs too back in uni" wait what! goody two shoes Chelsea did drugs, i would have to see it to believe it, "what kind of drugs did you do? Crack, heroine, maybe some ecstasy on a night out?" She lowers herself on the counter top and covers her mouth with the palm of her hands as if she was about to whisper, there is no one else in the room but me, i humour her and start to lean towards her turning my ears closer to her mouth "i smoked weed" i am instantly filled with a burst of laughter and I'm unable to control myself which is starting to annoy Chelsea by the looks of it, she crosses her arms and waits for me to gain my composure "marijuana? I don't consider that drugs, you do know that doctors can even prescribe it to certain patients. Even my 76 year old arthritic granny smokes that stuff... Sorry please continue" She takes another sip of wine "anyway one night we were at Sharon's and Benji's place, they we're hosting a little house party, i was feeling tired so Sharon said i could lie down on their bed" Chelsea pauses for a moment "I was awaken by Benji on top of me trying to force my clothes off, i tried pulling him off me but he was too strong, so i screamed for him to get off me instead, it was like he was another person" Chelsea has her eyes closed, i guess the memory is still so raw for her to talk about, i rest a hand on top of hers, she opens her eyes and looks down at our hands together and she smiles "by the time Ashleigh and Zaid heard my screams Benji had managed to rip my blouse open and give me a fat lip, they managed to pull him off me" i am completely mortified by what i have just heard, how is she still friends with this Benji guy who obviously tried to rape her "did you report him to the police?" Its evident what the answer is, i just don't see how she could not "no I didn't. He wasn't in his right mind, and he promised me he would go to rehab and get help, and he did" God Chelsea is so gullible it is infuriating "a drunk driver doesn't set out to hit anyone but when he does he still has to pay for his actions Chels" Chelsea's phone vibrates from on top of the counter, she looks down at it "the cab is here, lets talk about this some other time" she grabs her Mac coat and her purse and we make our way to the car "no, i am trying to understand why he isn't sitting his ass in jail, you had witnesses who could verify your statement" we get into the back seat and slam the door shut "because, this is different" i put both my hands up in confusion "how is it different, it is literally the same thing, he tried to rape you" Chelsea's jaw drops and her eyes begin to dart between me and the cab driver "excuse my friend i wasn't ra.... damn it Angie why would you say that. I didn't go to the police because he was under the influence, he made a mistake and he got help, end of" Chelsea is speaking in hush tones so the driver doesn't hear our conversation, she looks upset but that wasn't my intentions, i just want her to see that those people she calls her friends do not care about her feelings, they are way more concerned with protecting Benji from serious prison time "I'm sorry, lets try and have fun tonight, and don't worry i wont bring this up again" I stare out of the car window and watch the london traffic go by, its funny, i suddenly don't feel so nervous meeting Chelsea's friends, now that i know they are complete fuck ups.

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"It's astonishing right?" Im pulled out of my daydream and look over my shoulders "huh?" I have no clue what Sharon is on about, i got introduced to her earlier, she is very beautiful, her hair is dyed different shades of purple and blue she wears a nose ring on her septum, she looks like a super hippie liberal, I'm not sure if that is the look she is going for but that is the vibe i get from her, she takes a step closer to me and points to the portrait I happen to be standing in front of "the way the photographer was able to capture happiness through such sorrow" i stare at the picture closely its of a young girl and she is laughing "sorrow?" I don't get it, All i see is happiness "hours before this picture was taken in the Congo, her village had been ransacked and burned to the ground, her father and brothers murdered by rebels, she was raped multiple times, when the locals found her she was barely hanging on to life. The photographer is notorious for taking pictures of smiling people" i would love to know the joke he told her to get her to laugh like that after such a traumatic ordeal "so he thinks he can magic away peoples trouble with a knock knock joke"
Sharon turns to look at me "No, Marc Leslie challenges you to look fast the smiles, and dig deep into their background story. Once you discover the facts your brain has a hard time to process what it is seeing to what it knows, it's freaking genius. Take this one for example." Sharon walks over excitedly to a picture of a woman wearing a suit, she looks as though she is sitting in an office she is laughing with her head back and two fists in the air as if she just won the lottery or got given the best news ever "this picture was taken in Indiana moments when she was handed the death penalty for murdering her boyfriend whom she found in bed with her 14 year old daughter" Sharon leans on wall with her arms crossed watching me as I examine the photo "a death sentence for murdering a pedophile seems a bit harsh, surely they should have given her life?, why is she so happy?" Sharon looks at me with amusement "well yea, but its what she did with his body" what the hell did she do with his body..no, i don't want to know "how do you know all of this stuff?" I ask her instead "each painting comes with a bio, see" she points to the little square box and i have a quick read "she is sick" Sharon laughs, i have to admit i didn't think i would enjoy the art exhibition but here i am fascinated by Marc Leslie, and Sharon doesn't seem so bad either.

Both of my arms are grabbed from behind and I scream from the sudden jolt "gotcha" Chelsea says giggling like a school girl "what are you, like 5" i say jokingly pushing her by her side with one hand "25 actually, sooo. What do you think of everyone?" I take a moment to think about it "okay, i wont lie, i was a bit nervous meeting your friends i thought they will all be judgemental snobs, but everyone seems really cool, i especially like Sharon, she is proper down to earth, sort of reminds me of myself" Chelsea now has a sheepish grin on her face "see, i told you you would like them. They also think you are super duper cool by the way" i turn to Chelsea not quite sure if i heard her correctly "super duper? What are you like 5? Im also surprised that i actually enjoyed the exhibition" i say as we walk out of the venue "really? I thought it was a bit fucked up". I wave my hand to get the attention of the black cab driver on the opposite side of the road, he turns his indicator on signalling that he is about to make a 180 turn, once clear of any on coming cars he pulls up next to us "where are you headed?" The driver says before pulling off "Camden town then Euston road please. I guess i can relate to some off his piece's" i say as i get in and make myself comfortable in the back seat, "I get that, as females, society kind of expects us to smile our way through our traumas, i guess his photo's highlights that" Chelsea says while nodding finally getting it "you should know all about that, especially with the whole Benji thing" i say not thinking i would hit such a nerve "you said you wouldn't mention that again" Chelsea says annoyed "what i meant to say is..." the scolding look on Chelsea's face says it all and i shut up by putting my fingers up to my lips motioning a zip, locking it with an invisible key and throwing it away.