I'm a Creep - Synacky

Sirius

Zacky's POV

Me and Brian is sneaking out the door, and both giggles like little motherfucking schoolgirls. The Idea that came to Brian 4'o clock in the morning just had to be done. I where in my sweetest dreams when he wake me up, to tell me that he wanted to go out in the snow, with me, to see the Christmas star shining.  And I couldn't resist it; I gave in to him, and got myself on my feet.

When we passed Matt and Val's door, we heard some high snoring, like the abominable snowman was sleeping in there.  Brian stifled a laugh and said with a raised eyebrow; "How can Val sleep in there when the "sleeping beauty" beside her isn't so beautiful asleep?" This made me lose my gloves that I was trying to put on against the cold. The mental picture of Matt whit long blond hair and a rose in his hands, and with that snoring, burned against my eyelids.  I started to laugh and Brian had to tell me (laughing, but determined) to not wake up the whole fucking house.

When we finally got outside and started to make our way in the snow. Suddenly, I fell over and hit Brian, who landed with his face first down in the snow. He made a spitting and hissing sound and wiped the snow off his face. "Sorry.." I whispered, not sure if he was mad at me now, and got up quickly.

Brian's POV

It still surprises me, when he gets so afraid of what my reactions might be, when he does something clumsy. I gave him an understanding look and said that everything was just fine and that he couldn't help it. He sighed and relaxed again. I took his hand and guided him down to the road, where I stopped and pushed him into my arms.

"Do you know anything about stars and constellation?" I asked him slightly slowly. He shook his head and looked up at me. I could see the stars in his green shining eyes, and felt my legs start to shake. He always made me shiver like a crushed schoolgirl. 

The urge to kiss him grew and I couldn't help it, so I placed my tiny warm lips to his plush pink ones. He sighed again and put a hand in my hair. I stood still just taking in the scent of him, my love, and how the moonlight surrounded us. 

"I want to show you something then." I moved my concentration up to heaven again and pointed out in the cold night air. "That star to the left there, that's right, the one that is shining brightest of them all. It's called Sirius and has shown many sailors the way home from their journeys.This star is not only a leader or a wizard, but also a symbol. It's a symbol of love, and how strong my love is for you. It is also a symbol of how bright you shine for me when you laugh, when you make me laugh, when you simply look at me and when we make love. You make so much love into my life. And one day I will ask you to spend the eternity with me. But not tonight, because you need to be absolutely shore that I love you, that you are allowed to be loved and that you are allowed to love someone. Zacky, look at me. You are afraid aren't you?" He looked at me with mixed feelings in his eyes, love, fear and surprise. And slightly embarrassment.

Zacky's POV

God, how can he do this to me? Be so honest; see right through all my barriers, all my wrongs and fears. I do love him more than anything, but he is right. I'm a creep. I'm afraid of not being good enough, he is right, I don't want to get engaged or married yet. I need to see if this is real, if this can last in an eternity. I looked at him and he saw my teary eyes, all my pain, all my uncertainty of myself. He wiped the tears away and said with his soft Californian drawl;

"I love you, baby."