The new lady at Downton Abbey • Alan Rickman x oc

16. Chapter

I turned around facing my mother and aunts not knowing how much they saw. But going of off their demeanor I would say that they couldn't tell from how far away they were and how dark it is. They took my hand and pulled me with them back into the grand house. I wasn't even able to say anything to the duke. On the other end of the ballroom there stood Matthew with Mary by his side. They were speaking with a young gentleman that I never had seen before. He was tall with dark hair and a sharp jaw. He had a smile on his lips. He must be around my age maybe a few years older but not by much. We walked straight to the small circle of people my aunt Cora greeted the young man with a smile on her face and her arms outstretched to greet him. "It is lovely to see you again lord Cumberlege, how long has it been? Maybe 2 years since you came to visit us at Downton" She smiled, and he nodded his pointer finger by his lips. His eyes drifted for a few seconds over to me. Then he looked back at Aunt Cora. "Yes, must be maybe less" Again he looked over only for a second or two. It was strange. I never had that before in my life that someone did that. Maybe something wasn't right. Was my dress not in the right place or my hair? Is my makeup smudged? Was it something else? Something in my teeth? I picked at my dress pulling it back into place. My mother noticed my nervous behavior and pulled gently on my arm to get me out of my head. Apparently, while I was trying to get myself to look decent again the Lord Cumberlege was engaged in a new conversation with my aunts, Mary and Matthew. I think they noticed that my attention was now complete on them because the Lord suddenly turned in my direction doing what I think they were thinking all along and why they pulled me away from the duke. They get us to talk with each other. I mean don't get me wrong the lord standing now exactly before we were very attractive, elegant, and charming. I am not blind. But he wasn't ... I was looking around me to spot the one person I was looking for when I noticed a voice. "Are you looking for someone specific Lady Margaret?"

"Oh no, no" I wasn't even looking in the direction of the person now speaking to me. "Oh really? Because it looks like my presence is more than unwanted here" I was able to hear the teasing and smirk in his voice, but the sentence was in itself very concerning for a young girl like myself where my parents always thrived for me to be perfect in hosting and attending. My father would be most unhappy with me right now. "I am so sorry" I turned around and took his hand being so concerned about how I acted only seconds before already forgetting that a lady wouldn't do such a thing as thanking the hand of a gentleman and pleading for forgiveness. But well, I guess we're here right now. Letting go of his hand and reminding myself who I am and what I was taught I again tell him I'm sorry. "I assume you were speaking with me before you made me aware of my rudeness." He only nodded his head. "Then I again apologize and would like to know if you would indulge me in what you were speaking of before I so rudely ignored you." "Oh," he waved me off with his hand. "It was nothing of importance. I only wanted to know how you liked London now that you have been in the countryside for so long." He leaned back with his back on the wall. A charming smirk on his lips. "It hasn't been that long I would say." I smiled back at him "But yes, it's different now. It feels different" It felt like I was again spacing out not noticing my soundings. -oeugh- that brought me back. "I'm so sorry gain I don't know what's up with me. Maybe it's just that I'm a little worn today." He lays his hand on my shoulder. "Then I completely understand. I will inform your mother, aunts, and cousins." I bow my head in a thank you. I really was feeling all of the ups and downs of the day. I actually had to look for the next place to sit feeling a little faint.

He got back with my whole family and surprisingly the duke was also with them. My mother was the first by my side putting her hand on my head and feeling my temperature. She looked back to the others "She's alright" Looking back at me she put both of her hands on my cheeks. "Let's get you home in bed my dear." Behind her, I could see worried looks. Even Mary looked over maybe she had forgiven me. Next to her all the way to the back was the duke he looked most worried I could see it in his eyes, but he also looked conflicted. He looked like he would jump up in the next moment just to get to me and see for himself that I was fine. It made me feel good and sad at the same time. I don't want him to hurt especially if it's because of me.

"Could you help us Lord Cumberlege" my mother had stood up and turned around in his direction. He still had that smirk on his lips. "Of course" he took a step in my direction and went down as if he was trying to lift me up bridle style. "Apology but I still was able to walk" he stopped, and I could see the duke in the back of the small crowd now smirking. Nevertheless, the lord was still determent to help me in some way or form, so I took his hand to help me up and walked me over to the Foyer. When we got there the others were still in the ballroom, so it was only us. "I was very worried about you Lady Margaret" he put a strand of hair behind my ear. I was Bewildered. Was he interested in me? I didn't react feeling overcome. He was standing really close to me and because he was really tall, I had to look up. I heard the sound of food steps but was totally in a trance still trying to process what was happening right now.

-oeugh- "I am very sorrowful to interrupt the two of you but If I could have a word with Lady Margaret Cameron" Lord Cumberlege took a step away from me bowing he took my hand in his and put a light kiss on it. "I hope we will see each other very soon" again the smirk. Still shocked to see the Duke I didn't even react I don't know what is happening today.

"I... I didn't want to interrupt. But I'm leaving London tonight." In shame, I only looked at his shoes until he told me of his plans. My head snapped on to his eyes and only then I was able to see that he wasn't looking at me. Was he mad at me? His eyes looked sad and disappointed. Did something happen? I'm not sure. I took a step in his direction not knowing what else to do but feeling like I needed to be close to him. If he was now leaving, what would I do? I had hoped that now after what happened between us this evening, that we would be closer. That we both now knew somewhat what the other was feeling. But apparently, I was wrong apparently, he wanted to be as far away from me as possible. It was devastating. He helped me into my coat, and I could feel his hands lingering on my back. Came closer to me his head behind my own. He was softly leaning on me. "I have to leave" he whispered in my ear. I could feel his hot breath on my ear and neck. "Goodbye Margaret" With that he left me standing all alone. And the strangest thing was it felt not like he was planning on seeing me ever again. My heart hurt how could he just leave?

My heart hurt. I thought we had a connection. I thought today was the day that both of us told each other how we felt. But apparently, I was wrong. I saw her standing in the Foyer. They were close together she was looking up. My heart hurt. Maybe it was the right thing. They were close in age. Both still young. I mean what was I thinking? That someone as beautiful as her could love someone like me? Impossible. I don't like Cameron, I heard what he did after the war. How he had his fun. There was nothing gentlemanly about this man. I want to protect Margaret but if she is happy with a guy like him... then I am happy.

I don't want to walk away from her but if I want her to have the life every young lady ever dreamed of then I have to walk away. I don't want her to be conflicted in my whole life. The only thing I can hope for is that I will see her often and that when I see her from far away that she is happy.

Ma ma took me in her arms, and we walked back to the cars. When we got back the only thing I wanted to do was sleep. Sleep and hope that I wake up and the duke is still in London.

I was sitting at the vanity in my room getting ready for bed when I heard a knock at my door. wiping the silent tears from my face I opened the door to Mary standing in the hallway. She also was already wearing her night clothes. Looking at my feet she spoke "I am sorry for what I said. I was jealous and drunk and let everything out on you. I didn't mean what I said I know it has nothing to do with you. Will you forgive me?" Only then did she look me in the eyes I nodded my head and she stared at me. "Margaret? Are you okay?" I didn't say anything, but I think she knew that it had nothing to do with her but that I needed her right now. And so, she took me in her arms and both of us laying in my bed her cuddling me to sleep.