Eight Intertwined

145 - Doubts

Therion didn't think he had ever been this miserable. 

The battle with Miguel was a blur in his mind. The first half was clear enough, but after Miguel grabbed him, Therion's mind went hazy. All he remembered was the pain in his ribcage and the lack of air reaching his lungs. Then he heard Miguel speak, and moments later, there was blood splattered across his cheek from the axe stab Miguel took to the back. The rest of the fight was hazy, and Therion was fine with keeping it that way. What he remembered was more than distressing enough. 

Tea leaf. 

That was what Miguel had called him. Therion knew there was no way for Miguel to know just how distressing that phrase was to him, but it made him feel sick anyway. In fact, Miguel would have probably enjoyed making Therion miserable if he knew about the thief's history with that phrase. Miguel had wanted to enjoy killing every single one of them, and it was because he had slowed down to relish in strangling Therion that he had been defeated. Miguel had thought Alfyn was out of the fight when he went to heal Tressa and Primrose, and that had been the final mistake Miguel would ever make. 

Therion remembered scrambling away from Alfyn when the apothecary tried to carry him away from the battlefield too. Therion had wanted to be with Alfyn more than anything right then even if he would never admit it, but he had kept his distance because of that damn shade of green. Therion liked to think he was above holding grudges against entire colors, but after hearing Miguel call him a tea leaf... Nothing was off limits, and Therion had fallen apart completely. H'aanit had brought him back to town after that, and Therion had come to with the rest of the travelers around him. 

He hadn't been able to calm down since then. Therion didn't know what he wanted, but he was certain that he didn't want anyone to touch him. Even Alfyn just reaching out to try and apply some healing magic to his bruised ribs had sent Therion into a frenzy. He couldn't deal with it. The pain in his body was intense, but his injuries had been healed enough while he was unconscious for him to feel safe enough to push the rest of his company away guilt free. He would live. That was what mattered most. 

Therion didn't feel alive though. In fact, he would have said he felt just as dead now as he had after Darius had kicked him off that cliff years ago. Therion felt like a husk of a man, only there physically but not in spirit. That feeling had only grown more suffocating after the rest of the travelers decided to head out from the inn to take care of their other business in Saintsbridge. Now, Therion was alone with Cyrus, and he was grateful the scholar had chosen to not talk for once. Therion wouldn't have been able to handle it if Cyrus had tried to start a conversation right now. 

"Therion?"

Damn it. 

Therion turned his head so he could see Cyrus (because his damn blind eye kept him from being able to see him given his current position) and saw the scholar staring up at the ceiling with a worried frown on his face. "Is... Is something the matter?" Cyrus questioned. He was poor with handling the emotions of others, and it was loud and clear as he fumbled for his words in the silence. "You snapped at Alfyn earlier, and I cannot help but think that... That is very unlike you."

"I'm fine," Therion snapped back even though they both knew it wasn't true. Therion couldn't trust anyone, and that included the other travelers. He had let his guard down during that battle, and it had very nearly cost him his life. How could Therion breathe easily when anyone could stab him in the back when he allowed himself to relax for even a second? He couldn't do it. 

Unfortunately for Therion, he couldn't just wallow in his own self-pity alone forever. Cyrus kept talking, and each word grated on Therion's nerves more than the last. "You can talk to us if something is bothering you," Cyrus went on. "Something about the battle with Miguel seemed to strike you deeper than the rest of us. If you need anything, you know you can--"