Fading Echoes

Unspoken Longings

Upon entering my high school hall room, a wave of nostalgia washed over me. The space was filled with a mix of recognizable and unfamiliar faces. I looked around, eventually landing on a massive banner suspended above the stage.

"High School Reunion."

Nevertheless, an abrupt encounter with another person jolted me from my position, prompting me to pivot in astonishment.

"What—"

"Y/N L/N! It's been quite a while!" an easily recognizable woman with bright eyes greeted me with a hug, and a chuckle escaped me as her name naturally rolled off my tongue.

"Seyoung! Wow, it feels like it's been ages!" I exclaimed, letting go of our embrace.

My eyes trailed behind her to see a handsome man, walking towards Seyoung and wrapping his arm around her waist with a wide smile.

I smiled and said, "You must be the infamous Matt. It's nice to finally meet you."

Lee Seyoung was my partner-in-crime throughout high school. After she decided to go to college in Canada, she found herself a successful Canadian boyfriend and got married. I couldn't attend her marriage, but we kept in contact over the Internet.

Seyoung gave him a small peck on the lips and leaned closer to whisper something in his ear. A heavy feeling of gloom took over me as I looked at the couple. Their love— was worth envying.

Seyoung gave her husband a last smile before she took my arm and dragged me into the pool of people, saying, "C'mon."

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Time went by as we met everyone. I was slowly losing my tension as I got comfortable with the champagne in my hand. Parties were not my scene, but this brought back a lot of memories. I excused myself from the group of old friends and stood by the wall, taking a well-needed breather.

As I glanced out across the gathering, calmly sipping my champagne, Seyoung unexpectedly came into view amidst the attendees. Her countenance bore a sense of unease, a familiar look to me.

"What happened?" I asked as she neared me.

Seyoung looked restlessly behind her and then back at me. She stepped a bit forward and leaned closer to whisper in my ear.

"Y/N, it's her. She's... here."

My mind took a moment to realize who she was referring to, and my heart dropped in my stomach. Suddenly, it felt difficult to breathe as words escaped me. Seyoung gently touched my arm and said, "We can go if you—"

Typical Seyoung, always looking out for me. She knew about my history with her and there was no denying that she was the last person I expected to see at this reunion. But, destiny didn't go the way we wanted, did it?

"No."

A sudden sense of determination took over me as I held the champagne flute tightly. For once, after 7 years, I had this bottled-up courage and I knew I had to use it. Now.

With Seyoung on my tail, I weaved through the crowd and finally came to stand just a step away from her. The woman whom I loved dearly throughout my childhood, teens, 20s, and till... now.

"Rosé," her name— like a broken promise that hurt so bad— rolled out of my tongue, announcing my attendance.

The BLACKPINK's Main Vocalist, known worldwide and loved by many, turned around to face me. Astounded.

Her eyes were wide as she stared at me with what looked like uneasiness. She took a sudden step back to give herself space and said, "Y/N! Hey..."

Her voice was soft but heavy like she didn't want to be here but be here at the same time.

With a faint smile, I offered a tentative greeting, "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Her hand was shaking slightly as her long fingers were holding the champagne flute tightly. As if a broken machine, Rosé couldn't think of anything else. Her awkwardness made my heart ache inside.

Amidst our meeting, I heard people around us whispering and murmuring.

Why wouldn't they? Back then, Rosé and I were thick as thieves, but only a few knew the real us. We were so in love that being apart felt difficult, and staying together gave us life.

As the murmurs of the crowd started to get to me, I brushed past her shoulders— a hint— and walked away. Hoping for her to catch the meaning.

Like she used to.

When I stepped outside the backdoor that led to the soccer field, I sighed in the dead of December night. Fortunately enough, I heard footsteps approaching behind me. I discreetly smiled, while I stood at the top of the bleachers, pocketing my hands. I looked up at the cloudless sky.

"Do you still like the snow?" I asked, breaking the ice, and turned my head to look at her with a familiar glint in my eyes.

Rosé's lips were together in a thin line as she slowly stepped beside me, the gears turning in her head as she fumbled with her jacket sleeve. I chuckled a little, well knowing her habit, and said, "I can hear you thinking out loud, you know?"

Taking a deep breath, Rosé started, "Y/N, "her voice was shaky and she seemed uncomfortable. Guilt was hung heavy in the air, though she tried to hide it.

"I... care about you, Y/N. But, "she was struggling to fight her emotions, "This. You and I. I-I'm sorry, Y/N. This isn't easy for me. I-I don't think I can."

Her words struck me like a sudden, brutal blow. The tears welled up, blurring my vision, and I struggled to keep my emotions in check. 

I met her gaze, and I saw her internal turmoil—the battle between her guilt and her fear. She wanted to offer comfort, to reach out, but she was paralyzed by her cowardice.

My heart felt like it was on fire as I stared at Rosé. The years of pent-up frustration, the hurt, and the realization that she had let fear dictate our entire relationship—everything came rushing to the surface.

I was done pretending, done playing by her rules. I had given her all the chances she needed, and it was time for her to face the truth.

"Rosé," I began, my voice trembling with a mix of anger and sadness, "I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending that everything's okay when it's not."

She looked at me, her eyes widening in surprise as if she hadn't expected me to stand up to her. 

"You talk about being overwhelmed? Guess what? I've been overwhelmed too," I continued, my voice rising.

"I've been scared too. But you know what was bigger than that fear? My love for you. My belief-- that we could conquer anything together. But what did you do? You let your fear consume you, and you let it dictate our relationship."

She opened her mouth to say something, but I didn't give her a chance. I had bottled up my emotions for far too long, and they were bursting out like a dam breaking.

"I've been there for you through thick and thin. I've believed in us, even when you didn't. But what about you, Rosé? What have you done for us?" My voice cracked, anger mixing with heartbreak.

"I've been praying for you, rooting you for all these years. Even when you left me hanging, I had faith in you, that you, Rosé, would come back and tell me that you were wrong all these years. However, you've hidden behind your fear, using it as an excuse to avoid commitment, to avoid facing the truth."

Tears streamed down my face, but I didn't care. It was time for her to hear every ounce of the pain she had caused me. My hands trembled, my heart aching as I looked at her, expecting some kind of response, some kind of realization dawning on her face.

But what I saw was a mixture of guilt and shame. She lowered her gaze, unable to meet my eyes, and I felt a surge of anger that she couldn't even face me now.

"After all those years," I said, my voice quieter but no less intense, "you're still the same. A coward who can't confront her feelings, who can't fight for what she supposedly cares about."

Quietly shaking my head, I said my last words to her in a whisper.

"I give up."

With that said, I turned around and walked away towards my car parked in the lot nearby. As soon as I sat in my car, I clutched the steering wheel tightly, feeling a mix of anger, sadness, and a strange kind of relief. 

I had said what needed to be said, but now that the rush of anger was fading, a hollow ache started to settle in its place.

I rested my head on the steering wheel, my shoulders shaking as the tears I had been fighting back finally spilled over. The sobs came from deep within, a mixture of frustration, disappointment, and the painful reality that our relationship had crumbled beneath the weight of Rosé's cowardice.

The pain I felt was agonizing and I hoped Rosé felt it too. Not because she gave up, but this time I gave up on us. 

I lost us. 

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