Light a Flame

forty two

"Now that we're alone, let us drink until we're not sober."

I'm not sure what she's saying. I haven't had such in-depth thoughts in a long time. I'd been staring at her and was aware of it. I'm sometimes stunned by how demanding our work is. These were the days . . .I'm mostly zoning out. There are no thoughts like this.

I can't help but admire her. She's dressed in her casual clothes, which I hardly see because it's been a long since we've been in one place without her hectic schedule. I admit that she is the most beautiful human being when she is working, but nothing changes when she is dressed comfortably.

Fortunately, she is still busy making all the drinks she wants. I gulped as she grabbed her clip next to me. No. She didn't notice me looking at her. Thank goodness.

It's difficult to put into words all I'm feeling today. I'm good with words, but I can't even construct a phrase when she's comfortable around me.

"How did you find this place?" she said, gently tapping my knees.

"What is it?" I hummed along with her laughter, thinking she wouldn't mind if I bit my bottom lip. I almost say something I'll later regret.

She calms down when I delicately tap her shoulder, but she shakes her head softly. How mesmerizing . .

She then handed me a glass of drink she had mixed. It took me only a few seconds to grab the glass. I made sure she drank first.

"Is it good, miss?" I asked as she relaxed her face after downing the drink, "Can I ask what your question is again?"

My eyes widened when she grabbed for my drink. The alcohol was icy cold. And I can tell it's not to my taste; she probably agrees with the idea. My eyes were glued to my glass from the time she grabbed it, smelled it, and placed it in her lips. She drank around half of it.

She drank from my glass, and I didn't even protest.

"Can we trade? I like yours better." she made a silly brow twitch.

It's my time to shake my head. She's pretty strange. . . How could I have not reacted when she touched my glass, and now I hold her glass.

I tried reaching for the glass she drank from and putting it to my lips, but there was no reaction. ..I gulp it down with a grin.

"And I like yours, too," I responded right away.

This is the first time in my life that I have not felt the effects of germophobia.

• ▪︎ •

I'm tipsy as fuck.

"Hay nako Ves, kung - ay hindi, if you work for someone else, admiration for actress Karyl will almost certainly not escape your lips. Believe me."

Palaging ganyan. Kung sino ang papanigan mo ngayon doon ka magpapakabait. Swerte talaga ako kay Ves. Ang dami kong binigay sa kanyang loyalty test secretly pero sa huli ako ang palaging bigo. Talagang desidido siyang maglingkod.

I can't help but worry that one day I'll lose him as well, kaya siguro nasasabi ko 'to para mas madali ko nalang siyang pakawalan.

"I wouldn't do that to you," he wet his lips, "you don't have to pretend around me, miss."

I'm drunk to the point that I can feel my lips and brain joining together, preventing me from spilling some of my secrets. "I'm not pretending. Did I ever pretend to you? I almost share my deepest secrets with you."

"Fuck me for saying that, sorry."

I swear I saw him blush. He just averted his gaze. He's an ideal guy to confide in. He encloses me in his warmth, and I feel so cozy with him that I chose to sit on the floor just to have a better view of him and make it easier for him to see me this way.

I chuckle, "You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

He laughed heartily, "I lost my mother several years ago," he disclosed.

"Fuck me for saying that, I'm so sorry," I said, smacking my lips and downing the whole drink. "Do you want to go to Las Vegas?"

"The agency will definitely fire me if you want to go miss," he added, "but if that's what you want, I think it'll be worth it after everything that has happened before."

"You're crazy." I said.

"That's offensive."

His lips curled into an infectious smile.

I'm curious what is preventing him from smiling more frequently.

"I'm getting dizzy and might puke," I said, my fingers swirling in the air. "If I tell you something I'll regret later on, please pretend you're mute."

"Is that how you act with your past lover?"

"How did you know that?" makahulugan ko siyang tinignan.

Inabot niya ang canned beer sa mesa at pagkatapos ay umupo rin siya sa sahig. Napangiti ako saglit. Tignan ko nalang kung magtatagal siya diyan. May carpet akong inuupan, sigurado akong maninigas ang mga paa niya dahil sa lamig ng sahig.

Ipinatong niya ang braso niya sa mesa at humarap siya sa akin. Ibinababa niya ang beer sa sahig at binuksan niya 'to gamit ang isang kamay niya. Pagkatapos niyang sumipsip, ipinahinga niya ang pisngi niya sa kamay niyang ipinatong niya sa mesa.

Kung hindi ko ipapahinga ang ulo ko sa sofa, magkakatitigan kami buong gabi.

"What Miss?" he said quietly.

"I have a lover," before.

"Didn't we all have a lover in the past?" he said, his eyes fixed on mine.

"Oh," I scoff, "I did once. He's my private investigator Ves. That's why I'm more comfortable around a manager of my opposite gender because I'm used to his presence. Yeah, we know each other. I befriended him when I noticed his presence. That's when we're in college. When I graduated, my father asked him to resign. My Dad probably noticed that all of his report was useless."

Napa-inom ako saglit nang maalala ko ang mukha ng Dad ko. "I mean, the plan was for him to catch me with someone, but in the end, he's the person my father wants to see whenever I'm anywhere."

"How about your friends?" he said as he closed his eyes.

"They're discreet about it; I told them to keep it a secret." It nearly sounded like a sigh.

He hummed again, "They're fine with it then," he commented.

"After I passed my boards, my father immediately dumped me in Toronto. He didn't hesitate to pass my resume at my first label. Seems like being an accountant doesn't satisfy him at all. Now look where I am. This is what he wants in life. To be recognized and be a part of the fame."

Gusto niya atang pagkakitaan niya ako panghabang buhay. Alam kong umabot ang balita sa kanila noong may pumasok sa condo ko. Ako lang ata ang masaya noong nangyari 'yon. Naghintay ako ng ilang oras para sa tawag nila. Pero wala man lang silang tawag.Buti pa si Vyle na nasa Pilipinas pa nakapag-text kahit busy rin siya.

My family is so dysfunctional.

"Be you Karyl, no one else can." he said.

But at least I know that even if you're only in my life for a short time, Ves, you never fail to make me feel alive.

"Thank you, Ves," I answered with a smile.