Some Kids Like it

The heads of state gathered around the Aliens. ​

"We are excited to meet you," a US official said, "You are the first Alien race to visit us."

​"There's time for that later," the Alien said. "We need to destroy your 'Old Ladies.' On our planet, they are called Meetzoids, and once they get large enough to eat horses, your race will not be a match for them."

​More Alien ships started hovering overhead. ​

The US official desperately looked around, "Anybody know what's going on here?"

​An aide pushed her way through the crowd and whispered in the official's ear. The official's eyes lit up. "Really? Are you sure?"

​"As best we can tell," she said.

​The official turned to the Alien. "I think there may be a misunderstanding. Did you pick up one of our radio transmissions?"

​"Correct, one of our survey ships flew near your planet forty years ago. They intercepted a message explaining your plight. We spent the next thirty-five years traveling here."

​"Thirty-five, huh?" The official blushed. "And this transmission involved an old lady eating a horse?"

​"Yes, yes, you humans are wasting time! You need to show us where these hideous creatures are." ​

The official took a deep breath, "We think you may have intercepted a story we sometimes tell our children." ​

"Children's story?" The Alien's face started changing color.

​We call it the 'The Old Lady that Swallowed the Fly'. In the story, she accidentally swallows a fly, so she eats a spider to get the fly, then a bird to get the spider, a cat to get the bird, eventually moving up to a horse."

​"Yes, yes," the Alien said, "We are familiar with the dilemma." ​

The official chuckled, "It's a silly story. The kids think it's funny. Well, some of them do. A lot of them have cell phones now---"

​The Alien's color reached a bright red as it abruptly raised an appendage and made a circular motion. The hovering ships darted in different directions. Explosions were heard in the distance. ​

"Wait? What are you doing?"

​"We don't think it's funny; burning manga fuel for thirty-five years is expensive!"

***

A few minutes later, most of the buildings in Washington DC were in ruins. The Aliens were gone.

​The official brushed some of the dust off his suit. "Can someone explain WHAT JUST HAPPENED?"

​"I think they got mad, sir."

​"Oh, you think!"

​The aide pointed to the sky, "Look, here comes another ship. This one is different."

​The ship landed, and a gooey-looking Alien emerged and slid toward the humans as it navigated around debris from the torn buildings.

"Greetings, Earth people. We picked up one of your transmissions and were intrigued by your small horses."

​"What?"

​"We are collectors. We want to add your small bite-sized horses to our collection." ​

The official's aide spoke in his ear again. The official rolled his eyes. "We're sorry. I think you misunderstood. You're probably referring to a story about an old lady who eats a fly. It's a children's story. It's quite silly because no one can eat a full-sized horse. The kids think it's funny."

​"You mean, we came all this way because of a children's story?" The Alien's face began to change color as it abruptly raised an appendage and gave an oval motion. "We don't think it's funny."