Absurdist Stories

Tyler is being hunted by the Grinning Man and flees to Marble Springs, where he teams up with Serling and Price, real estate agents who sell haunted houses. ***** After his brother disappears and a burial mound explodes, high school student Tyler Graves starts having strange visions. His brother warns him that something is coming for him. Soon, Tyler's entire family is slaughtered, and he's being hunted by an otherworldly entity known as The Grinning Man. Fleeing to Marble Springs, he meets Serling and Price, real estate agents who specialize in selling haunted houses. It's up to this unlikely trio to stop a madman from destroying the world - by literally unleashing Hell on Earth! (Sequel to Apartment 239.) [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]

Ziggy Hamantaschen Widdershins XX is a long Furby who has a passionate and slightly unhealthy obsession with all things related to the pharmacy Walgreens. No one can explain why he loves it so much, although experts from all over the world have struggled to find an answer. Sure, he can get his mother's dementia meds or nibble absent-mindedly on some Ghirardelli or even play sudoku with Velgar the shadow demon there. But despite everything, there seems to be no single, concrete explanation. Join me-the documenter of Ziggy's strange life and the author of this biography-on an awesome and wonderfully weird journey through Siegfried Hamantaschen Widdershins XX's life! Currently #1 in long Furby, #1 in Furby, #1 in Furbies, #1 in Walgreens, #1 in creature, and #1 in weird fiction! I'm a true scholar! WHAT TO EXPECT NEXT: - A contest winner on August 3rd and a new bonus section. ENTER THE CONTEST WHILE IT LASTS!

For anyone who has ever felt like content instead of a person One morning, Robin typed three words into Google. No capital letters. No question mark. Just flat, unceremonious: should i die The algorithm had an answer. Actually, the algorithm had fifteen million answers. Sponsored. Monetized. Discount-coded. What followed was a single day that became a media circus, a bidding war, a TED Talk, a podcast, a Netflix pitch, a Broadway musical, a cryptocurrency. Die Like a Star is a darkly funny, razor-sharp satire about the world we've built: one where your pain is a product, your grief is a brand opportunity, and even the desire to disappear gets a sponsorship deal. Robin didn't want to die famous. He just wanted to be left alone. The world had other plans.

There are people whose job is to read the fine print. Salvatore DeLuca's job is to make sure everyone understands it. Recruited into a discreet profession that sits behind legal disclaimers, commercial contracts, and international diplomacy, he discovers that clarity is surprisingly controversial. Especially among people who have built successful careers without it.

Chapter 2 youngin'

A misanthrope glimpses beauty.

Part one of the Traralgon Tales....Taj and Anya receive an email from the prime minister of England....and they need time travel to help solve this mystery.

A young man's struggle to find a place for his Dog to poop and find meaning in the universe.

A man takes the title of The Wiggles' "Yummy Yummy" DVD too literally and sues for false advertising. Stupidity ensues. NOTE: This work contains instances of crude/coarse language for comedic effect - reader discretion advised.

The greatest underground fan fiction writer: ASDA Carpetson is back with his debut magnum opus: SPONGEBOB AND LIGHTNING MCQUEEN MEET TYLER THE CREATOR AT HOGWARTS. After being imprisoned by the Chinese government, ASDA Carpetson (otherwise known as KK$TAYCRAY) managed to write this entire fanfic in one day locked in the maximum security prison cell. Tackling with themes of love, loss, and bereavement, this novel manages to deconstruct the Israel-Palestine conflict while also telling the story of a friendly talking car, a loveable goofball sponge, and a Grammy-winning rapper/singer/songwriter/producer who just happen to be on the wrong side of magic...and yes, there are a few other cameos lets just say...

Cats: A young female protagonist with a taste for conspiracy theories is confused about the appearance of a displaced telepathic, feminist cat called “Mr Kittens” dropping in on her unsuspecting household. A time travel trip 200 million years into the future could be the cause of the upset.

COVER ART: "The Glow of the City" by Martin Lewis (1929) (Edited by me)

In a city run by an omnipotent assistant, cash is suspicious, coffee is prohibited, and solitude is the default state of being human. She doesn't want freedom. She doesn't want justice. She wants caffeine. And perhaps to pay her rent.

A surreal and darkly comedic romp through the bureaucratic unraveling of existence. It turns omnicide into a cosmic clerical error.

In a world marred by tragedy and deception, a woman's life takes an unexpected turn when her mother and brother are found dead under suspicious circumstances. As she grapples with grief and seeks answers, she uncovers a web of dark secrets, intertwining love, death, and crimes. From the unsettling discovery of her brother's murder to the inexplicable involvement of funeral enthusiasts, she is thrust into a maelstrom of confusion and disbelief. As the truth slowly unravels, she must confront the shocking realities that challenge her understanding of family, loyalty, and justice. With each revelation, her once familiar reality crumbles, leaving her to question everything she thought she knew. In a mesmerizing tale that blurs the boundaries of meaning and reality, she embarks on a journey of self-discovery, determined to find solace amidst the chaos. Will she unravel the enigma of her brother's demise, or will the elusive nature of truth forever elude her grasp? "A beautifully crafted narrative that effortlessly blends poetic prose, vivid imagery, and profound introspection, creating a literary experience that lingers in the reader's mind long after the final page."

Private Eye Jim is a broke Private Eye.

Jay is a new hire at a hotel where they kill their boss every day.

Stories that will scare you, if you scare bizarrely easily. I haven't decided how many stories I'll add to this collection yet, but I have decided they're all going to be over the top in one way or another, so if you like that kind of thing you should read my nonsense. These are not scary stories, these are silly, absurd, and maybe even a few poignant stories, with a macabre flavor. Kind of like the literary version of a spooky La Croix.

Rookie wizards Olga and Roxie are called upon to save their castle home from a stray comet. With the aid of a deranged Faun, they must travel into the forbidden land of the Elves, tangling with bumbling bounty hunters, talking animals, and ancient earthworms. But unknown to these two young wizards, the comet heralds a time of chaos that will change their world forever...