Истории Absurdist

Tyler is being hunted by the Grinning Man and flees to Marble Springs, where he teams up with Serling and Price, real estate agents who sell haunted houses. ***** After his brother disappears and a burial mound explodes, high school student Tyler Graves starts having strange visions. His brother warns him that something is coming for him. Soon, Tyler's entire family is slaughtered, and he's being hunted by an otherworldly entity known as The Grinning Man. Fleeing to Marble Springs, he meets Serling and Price, real estate agents who specialize in selling haunted houses. It's up to this unlikely trio to stop a madman from destroying the world - by literally unleashing Hell on Earth! (Sequel to Apartment 239.) [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]

A dying town launches a rebranding campaign that no one seems to be running. The billboards appear overnight. The slogans don't explain themselves. A diner waitress says nobody puts them up, and nobody takes them down. A couple arrives expecting ironic tourism and finds something closer to a live experiment. Beauchêne doesn't ask visitors to believe anything. It only asks them to stay. To notice. To participate. What begins as small-town decay becomes a slow, sideways unraveling... murals that feel instructional, civic programs that behave like dares, and a town that seems increasingly aware of the people passing through it. A surreal, slow-burn satire about American decline, anti-branding, and the strange comfort of entropy. Meaning doesn't collapse here. It rebrands. Entropy is a vibe. Decline tastes like caramel. Welcome to Beauchêne. You're here now.

In a world where elite "speed talkers" are hired to deliver legal disclaimers, contracts, and even negotiations at impossible speeds, a young prodigy discovers that speaking with perfect precision faster than anyone can understand can push entire systems toward collapse.

🥇1st Place - '18 Neon Awards - Random 🥇1st Place - '18 Fruit of Love Awards - Humor I'm Elle, and this is my novel, Jay. After rescuing my kidnapped plot from a minor character, getting kicked out of my house for cheating on Jay with a smut novel, and sobering up from a Wattpad votes and comments addiction, I've had it. I'll never write fiction again. (Our misadventures can be read in any order. Enjoy!)

He's damaged. He's lost. And worse of all, his memories have come to life. If he wants to find peace, he'll need to redefine what it really means to move on. -- For the first time in years, Atlas feels like he's separated himself from the misfortune in his life. He's healed, he's rented a decent apartment, he's settled into a solid-enough-for-him job working as a grunt for some scientists. Now he's (reluctantly) traveling to the spring snows of Alaska, where they plan to test the first run of their earthquake-harnessing technology. But something goes wrong. They don't harness the energy of an earthquake. No. Instead, the ground rips apart. A massive crevice forms, leading deep into the Earth. The chasm lulls him forward like a Siren, telling him tales of his mother, of her laughter, of her scent of strong sandalwood, and of his life before her death. Waking up in what he can only describe as Hell, he's confronted with every misfortune in his life. Forced to befriend mirages made from his most painful childhood memories or pay severe consequences, he travels the twisted realm in search of answers. Amazing cover by @lavendareyes Completed October 31st, 2021 Edits In Progress (Coming 2025) Awards: 2022 Watty Awards Shortlister 2024 Featured on @Humor on the "Ambassador's Monthly Picks" and "Absurdist & Surreal" reading lists

"The crests of the crimson sea crackled down upon the contours of the shore, That moment they came crawling from that priestly jaw, With their tentacles hlopping away from the floor as the crusty old dough fell from the tinned rim lined thinly with blinkers. These were them, though we knew not what that moment: The Pastrachai; Here to mend our mouldy minds."

If you'd like to pick up mind-reading, look no further! This unorthodox guide by a normie draws on first-hand encounters with mind-readers, which means you get an outsider's perspective. If one day you find yourself unable to read minds anymore, or it suddenly occurs to you that you could never read minds, pray that 1) you do not expose yourself, and 2) you have this guide with you. Else, you're in for a wild ride. Hope the taxi from the urban legends exists in your city. It will make things a tad easier since it takes you to places you never knew you needed to be at until you're there.

A strange, absurdist, science fiction comedy.

What do you call a homeless cannibal with a frying pan and short-term memory loss? Scotty. That's what. One lovely day in the ghetto during a pretend tea party with stuffed animals, Scotty finds a shotgun. The rest, as they say, is history. ** THIS IS A HORRIBLY VIOLENT AND TASTELESS WORK OF ABSURDIST FICTION. IF YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS, THERE'S A 78.219% CHANCE YOU'LL FIND IT HERE. STOP READING. GO COOK FOR YOUR MOTHER. ***

Not your average, run of the mill restaurant

The Old Man The Old Man follows Steve, a deaf father trying-and failing-to survive his unbelievably chaotic family. His blind wife Susan, brain-damaged daughter Abigail, and noseless son Earl turn a simple day at home into a disaster of screaming, smearing, and a mysterious cross-eyed dog that shows up only to eat turds off the floor. As a noodle-armed stranger with a toe growing from his palm joins the madness, Steve realizes his life has spiraled beyond all laws of nature. But just when the chaos peaks, he wakes up-forty years old, calm, living in a quiet apartment with a normal cat. It was all one disgusting, ridiculous nightmare. The Old Man is a fast, bizarre, gross-out comedy with a surreal twist and a surprisingly peaceful ending.

Rookie wizards Olga and Roxie are called upon to save their castle home from a stray comet. With the aid of a deranged Faun, they must travel into the forbidden land of the Elves, tangling with bumbling bounty hunters, talking animals, and ancient earthworms. But unknown to these two young wizards, the comet heralds a time of chaos that will change their world forever...

A man dies and experiences the afterlife.

A patriotic superhero ministry. A global empire of bland conformity. A moose who keeps "handling it." MONARCH defends Canada's heritage from OGRE and its overly modern nonsense-self-checkouts, rogue tech, and cultural homogenization. When beloved landmarks start disappearing and a neon-soaked nostalgia villain threatens to remake Expo '86 in miniature, a team of baffled heroes must stop the scheme before the Dominion becomes a collectible. Expect: fast banter, ridiculous civic lore, and heroic nonsense with surprising heart.

An Absurdist Short Story A man waits, in a room full of people.

Matt is a half robotic cow accused of killing his wife, who could use magic when she couldn't. The FBI agent (a human named Naomi) refuses to give him the life insurance money (for his wife's death), they make an agreement that Matt prove to Naomi that cows are not worst than humans. Matt goes on a journey underneath his wife's tomb, and includes death, unexpected romances, and more death. This is written in screenplay style. Due to lack of time, I thought I'd try to post it scene by scene (or close to it).

The Sinclair's are wealthy, powerful, and an absolute menace to society. Between suspiciously timed deaths, centuries-old feuds, and a family tree more twisted than a pretzel, life as a Sinclair isn't just about status it's about survival. At the heart of this scandalous mess is Nick Sinclair, a reluctant heir who was never meant to be in this kind of world. Nick is just trying to make it through family dinners without being poisoned, boarding school without being disgraced and shamed, and high society functions without causing local wars and international incidents. He swears his nine-year-old sister Kimberly might be Jack The Ripper reborn as she places him in life or death situations on the daily. And those are just on holidays. The Sinclair siblings must navigate elite society and manage family expectations while also avoiding attempted murderers. Can Nick keep himself alive and sane, or will the Sinclair name be his own undoing as it spits and chews him out? If you enjoy stories like the ones below, this may be the story for you: Knives Out The Addams Family Stories with high society idiots Stories with absurd situations Note: Cover made with AI, I will replace it with a real artist once I start writing more!

When ordinary civil servant Elias wakes one morning to find his life entwined in the bewildering workings of a faceless justice system, he embarks on a labyrinthine journey to prove his innocence in a case he neither understands nor recalls being part of. In a world governed by nonsensical rules, where every ally might be an adversary, Elias's pursuit of clarity becomes a harrowing descent into a surreal reality that mirrors the inner struggles of humanity itself.