For every great Pokémon Master, there is a Pokémon Mistress.
A collection of one-shots featuring Pokémon enthusiasts that regret teaching their beloved monsters moves such as Constrict, Power Whip, and Double Team.
Reporter: -shouting over the humming crowd, wailing sirens, blaring megaphones, and windbeats of helicopters- This is Parker Perry of the Pokemon News International Service, back again, LIVE here at the Pokemon Center of Goldenrod City as we bring you our continuing coverage of a situation with legendary proportions. With me is local community college graduate Professor Birch. Professor, what can you tell us about what we're seeing?
Prof. Birch: Thank you, Parker. It's no secret that Pokemon are immensely varied in their...romantic preferences...
Parker: We just reported on a Ditto prostitution ring. You can say "sex," Professor.
Professor:....Right. Yes. Well, the sexual preferences of Pokemon are, again, sometimes unpredictable. A male Skitty puts the moves on a female Wailord. A female Hitmonchan powerbottoms for a male Jynx. A Blastoise uses a Weepinbell as a...receptacle, if you will.
Parker: That's low-key hot, Professor.
Professor: Ahem! In any case, sometimes the creature of a Pokemon's affection happens to be a trainer. Or perhaps just...a random human with no known talent or interest in Pokemon rearing, battling, and husbandry.
Reporter: Fascinating, Professor. So if I may ask, how should a human handle such aggressive solicitations from a Pokemon? Perhaps, let us say, an assertively amorous Lickitung ambushes you, and offers to suck the soul out of your pipe and plums, while subsequently rimming your backdoor from behind with that bubble-gum soft, six-and-a-half foot tongue, then holds onto a Pecha Berry tree for dear life while you plow the fuckin' tread outta those cheeks and blast a String Shot across her thick, cotton candy pink, cushiony thighs?
Professor Birch: ...I---
Cameraman: -slowly leans out, blinking-
Audiences at home: -*horrified silence*-
Ray: -mouth agape with horror and disgust-
Louise:
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