When Challenging Perceptions

Log #9

August 9, 9:45 AM

I wake up bright and early, excited yet terrified. Today is the day of the Selection. Everything will change when this is all over, regardless of whether I am chosen to become an Individual or not. I get up out of bed and stretch. The shower helps me to relax a little, so I'm not too on edge. How can I not be?

Once out of the shower, I put on jeans and a red and black button-up shirt. Something simple, and not too flashy, although, I doubt it will do any good. I'm sure Jenna and I will stick out like privileged sore thumbs once we reach the Colonies. I only hope we survive the transition. If you've ever had to perform an initiation before joining a club, this is how it feels for us.  

I head down to the cafeteria to see if perhaps I can get one last hearty breakfast for the road. Funnily enough, I only just realized that I will probably have to cook my meals, assuming I stay out there for more than just one day. If I recall, the shortest time that anyone has ever lasted outside The Collective was about a day.

To be honest, I am more worried about Jenna. I've lived a life outside the Colonies before, but she will be new to everything and especially vulnerable. I'll watch over her to make sure she's okay. We should all do that for each other regardless.

When I reach the cafeteria, all of the men stop and look at me for a second. Some of them nod and even clap me on the back, saying things like, "Be well out there!". Others muttered that I'd be lucky if I lasted a day. 

I walked over to Brian and Jason, or #4503 and #5821. Since I am leaving The Collective, should I just properly call them by their IDs? Sure, I don't know their actual names, but calling them Brian and Jason just feels more familiar.

When they see me, both of them smile and hold their arms out. We embrace each other. "It won't be the same without you here," Brian says.

"It's not like I'll be gone forever. I'll probably be back before the night's over." Though I said this in jest, part of me hoped I would at least last until Jenna was satisfied with her exploration.

"If you're lucky, that is," Jason laughs, "Still, it's crazy to think about."

"Yeah," I say.

The breakfast special for today is fish, eggs, and home fries. It takes me a bit to realize I may never eat stuff like this again, assuming I won't be back, of course. A lot of us eat like normal. During this time, Brian, Jason, and I reminisce on how we first came here. 

Jason is the newest out of the three of us in terms of joining. I believe he went by another name, but over time, we got so used to calling each other Brother. A lot of the time when you join The Collective, your Citizen ID becomes your name, and unless you remind yourself of who you were previously, you lose that part of you.

When Jason came here, he was known for being a delinquent and a troublemaker. He had gotten himself in plenty of trouble before coming here if his former incident was anything to go by. He probably knew his name at some point, but I'd imagine, that since he caused so much trouble for The Collective initially, his rehabilitation might have affected his memory.

Brian, on the other hand, was very shy when he arrived here. He preferred to be by himself a lot of the time, but over time, we all clicked and formed a friendship. Much like me, when we asked about his name, he wasn't apt to tell us. 

To be fair, we were all one under this umbrella, our identity is The Collective, so, whether or not we had names didn't matter. If we ever left, I imagine we'd form new names and identities, much like when you traveled to a new place to escape your old life. Or, at least, I'm certain that's how it goes.