Tamanna E Khaam ✨

18 💟

After graduation, Falak severed all contact with her friends. She was only in touch with Jennifer. She felt bad for cutting off Hadi but he was  connected to Saad and she didn't even want to hear his name because after all these years, it still hurt. She couldn't move on. She still loved him.
Her university life was completely different from her college life. She didn't care about anything. She didn't care if she looked like a zombie or if people thought she was rude. She was tired. She didn't have energy to deal with all that.

After completing her studies, Falak decided to leave. She got a job in Canada and she thought it'd be better to leave all the bitter memories behind and start afresh. Besides there's nothing left for her here anyways. Maybe, maybe after all those years she'd find someone who'd make her heart beat out of her chest, and it wouldn't be Saad.

A few days before her flight she decided to meet Jen one last time before leaving. Falak and Jen met up at their usual spot. It was a small cafe they found after Harry's death, they didn't want to go the trios usual place since it brought back some bittersweet memories. The two friends hugged each other tightly as they met after months. Life wasn't as easy as before and they got busy.

"So you're actually leaving?" Jen asked after the duo settled.

"Yes. There's no point in staying here, is it?" Falak asked.

"Falak, just because Saad isn't in your life doesn't mean there's no point of life." Jen said.

"It's not about Saad, Jen. Okay partly it is, but it's like everytime I'm trying to move on, there's something standing infront me of, reminding me of the past." She replied.

"What about your mom? Unhe akela chor kar kaise ja sakti ho?"

"Akele chor kar nahi ja rahi hoon, did you forget i have a sister who lives here? In this very city?" Falak sighed. "look I know you think mai waha jakar apna dhyan nahi rakhungi ya I'll turn to my destructive self but aisa kuch nahi hoga, I promise."

"I hope so." The duo talked about anything and everything since it was the last time they'd be together for a long time.

"Falak?" A voice called out and she froze hearing that voice. She craned her neck to see Saad, in the flesh, right infront of her.

"Tum yahan kya kar rahe ho?" Jen gritted, glaring at him.

"Jen tum-"

"Saad thodi si bhi self respect ho to dafa hojao yahan se." Jen told him harshly.

"Mujhe Falak se baat karni hai please."

"Saamne dikh gayi toh baat karni hai? Kya bat karni hai? Tamasha mat banao Saad, jaao yahan se."

"Jen I've been trying to reach her for years, she's blocked my number, Hadi doesn't know where she is, even Sadia doesn't. To tum ye nahi keh sakti ke samne dikh gayi toh baat Krna hai." Saad retroted.

"WHAT.EVER. I don't want you anywhere near my best friend. Get lost."

"Jen tum decide nahi kar sakti ye. I'll leave if Falak tells me to." Saad and Jen looked at Falak expectantly. Both hoping for the opposite.

"Alright, Falak tell him to leave." Jen demanded. Falak looked at Jen with pleading eyes, Jen shook her head in disbelief. "You can't be serious right now."

"Jen, you know how it is right? It wouldn't change a thing. It's just a conversation." Falak told her best friend.

"Fine. Go ahead." Jen did a 'im watching you' action towards Saad.

The two sat at another table near the window. No one said anything for a good minute and then Saad spoke,

"How are you, Falak?"

"Saad, I don't time for these formalities. Kuch zaruri baat hai to bolo." Falak said softly.

"Itne saalo ki baatein mai itne kam time me kaise kar sakta hoon Falak?"

"To yeh sab distance create karne se pehly sochna chaiye tha na."

"Falak I had my reasons to do so, tum samjh kyu nahi rahi ho."

"Saad tumhe nahi lagta ke hamesha bas mai hi samjhti thi? I think it's high time ke mai tumhe samjhne ke alawa bhi kuch karoon." Falak didn't raise her voice at all. Saad would rather have her yell at him than be so distant. "Tumhe agar kuch aur nahi kehna hai toh mujhe chalna chahiye." She said getting up.

"I love you." Time stopped as Saad uttered those three words. Falak stood there unmoving. She felt tears brim her eyes as she stared down at him.

"Tumhare liye mazak hai na sab? Ek din kehte ho pyaar nahi karta fir 4 saal baad akar kehte ho I love you? Tum khud ho samjhte kya ho? Tumne MUJHE kya samjh rakha hai?" She yelled.

"Falak meri baat suno please, mai sach me tumse mohabbat karta hoon. I swear ye 4 saal mere liye kisi azaab se kam nahi guzre." He stood infront of her. "Falak, meri jaan, mai tab bhi tumse mohabbat karta tha mai aaj bhi karta hoon."

"Saad are you even listening to yourself? Tab bhi karta tha?? I recall you saying, 'i don't, you're my best friend'.."

"I know what I said but Falak I was barely 19. I was too scared to think about my actual feelings. I couldn't see myself being committed to someone." Saad confessed. "I thought if I committed to someone, I'd miss out on life. I didn't realise I'd lose the one I actually love. After Harry..." Saad choked on his tears at the mention of his late friend. "After Harry, I realised I loved you, but at the same time realised I was ruining you as well." Both of their faces were tear stricken.

"So you left, right?" She asked.

"So I distanced myself from you, I thought if I'd stay close to you I wouldn't be able to stop myself from... treating you differently than Jen and others."

"That was not your decision to make Saad. You could've talked to me. But no you had to go ahead and ruin everything." She wiped her tears away and looked him in the eye. He was ashamed of what he did. There's no changing that but they could still move forward.

"Falak I love you. Please can't we give this a chance? Give us a chance?" He pleaded.

"I love you too, Saad. I'll never not love you." Saad let out a breath of relief at her words. "but it doesn't change anything. I'm leaving for Canada in a few days." Her words dropped on him like a bomb.

"What?"

"Yes, my flight's in 4 days. I hope we can stay in touch though." She turned to leave.

"Falak please don't do this me."

"I'm sorry Saad but I have to. Bye."

A/n: not edited.