It's 3am, why am I awake?
I'm not quite sure, just stressed I guess
Voices are running through my head saying "you'll never be enough"
Sometimes I believe them too.
These voices are of the ones I love although I know they'd never speak such hurtful words
Spirit broken down until I'm but a shell of a person
I don't eat
I don't sleep
I don't go outside
I hide myself within thick walls of gray concrete
To protect myself if not others
It's 3am and I'm writing a poem that's what my therapist tells me to do.
I suppose it helps, but very rarely releases the pain on my heart.
Medicines for all my issues scattered across the room
Yet my dustbin is still filled to the brim with fresh bloody tissues
It's 3am. Why am I not sleeping?
I know I should be, but I'm scared of sleeping, my thoughts get scarier when I close my eyes
My loved ones get meaner when I drift to sleep
So tiredly I will keep my eyes wide open
It's 3am, go to sleep, listen to music or start counting sheep
Everything's fine is what I try to tell myself
But nothings fine
Everything's wrong.
Why am I still here?
I tried to be gone...
