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Seeing you from afar and then realising what I have lost. I watch you here in silence, you know I'm a bit of an introvert. The mole on my right foot under the August sun. You are the reason why I now love in secret. Unknown
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This is a shit idea.
What will it look like if I fall on these heels?
What if Anika leaves me alone?
Howembarrassing.
In moments of euphoria everything feels incredibly right, we could climb a mountain barefoot, eat entire tubs of chocolate ice cream, and not because we want to, but only because anxiety makes us fall into hasty decisions.
Then, the next five minutes are the most decisive, and we believe and tell ourselves that maybe (no maybe) we made a big mistake. The exact same thing happened to Iris. Caught up in a moment of euphoria she had thought well that going out with Anika's colleagues was the right move.
That she was young. That she had to have fun. The only doubt running through her head was what she had gotten drunk the night before to be able to accept such a thing. Knowing full well that with strangers she was ranting, talking shit, and everyone took her for a fool. She didn't mind making new friends, she was very open, but she had a mouth that wasn't easily restrained. She masked her agitation throughout the morning, trying to study something to get through her exams, she made herself a cup of steaming green tea and lit a scented candle.
A ritual that calmed her in critical situations like those. Yet she was a tornado of emotions, her legs under the table caught up in their very own epileptic fit had not stopped for a second, and she had resumed the habit of agonisingly eating her fingertips. She spent the rest of the afternoon blissfully doing nothing, waiting until the doorbell rang.
