The boulevard of the dead and other stories

Against the Clock

Once Alex crossed the door of his house, he decided to go up to his room and hang up the calendar he had bought fifteen minutes before.

Minutes later, he closed the door and stepped back, still looking at the big blue numbers inside the small white boxes. And, as he thought about what he would do next, he noticed that this was the perfect place: it was visible to him, but hidden enough for the rest of the people in plain sight. When he was satisfied, he began to turn the pages, selecting a month at random, and checked a box with a red circle around it. Sighing, he stepped back again to look at the result.

The countdown had begun...

As the clock announced that it was still early morning, Alex remembered what his first day of school was like: He relived how as he was about to enter his assigned class, waiting for the door to open, he imagined himself in different scenarios feeling a mixture of anxiety and excitement just like the other children. However, he reviewed how his fantasies had been interrupted when he realized that his mother had grabbed him by the shoulders, staring at him, silently.

When Alex was about to ask her if anything happened, she exclaimed, "You know how time never waits?" At that point, he just nodded his head, trying to keep an eye on the door for when it opened, but, his mother still wouldn't let go. "You know that?" she repeated, getting the same response as before. "Time never waits, Alex. Then, you'll have to use it properly to do important things. Big things! The clock will start ticking from now on, and, at this point you will have to go alone." He then watched as his mother walked away through the crowd, not quite sure what she was referring to.

And as he turned to look at the ceiling, reassured himself that he was not "obsessed" with time. Still, he knew of some people who kept their lives timed. And he had even heard his friends talk about how they set dates to reach a particular goal. It was normal for people to want to have more control over time. Besides, how many times hadn't he heard people say things like, "In five years I should be done saving for a new motorcycle"? Or, "In two months I should have already finished paying off my debt." Things like that... However, that wasn't the point.

Alex knew that deep down, even if he didn't want to admit it, that none of his friends felt like they were living against the clock. It was very likely that none of the people he had met so far felt that life was slipping through their fingers. And, he knew that none of the arguments he had told himself could reassure him. Thanks to this, he decided to remember what had happened after his mother had left him: Thanks to this, he decided to remember what had happened after his mother had left him: the day went normally, just as he had planned. But when it was time to go to sleep, he stopped to reflect on the words his mother had said to him.

And in analyzing them, he learned that from that moment on he was burdened with two different things: The first was the expectations they had about him. His mother had an expectation about what he should be, and probably the rest of the people who knew him as well. And, the second was that his future should be filled with important acts. Given this, he reassured himself that he could deliver on both counts. After all, if they had had that idea about him, it was because they knew he could do it, right? Besides, he understood that all mothers wanted to see their children become bright and important people. It was only natural that it would happen. But, he couldn't stop the doubts from bouncing over his thoughts.

When would he know it was the right time to start? Or, when would he understand that he had done those "important things" if he didn't even know what they were, and even wondered about the possibility that what he did might not be part of what people imagined or wanted. If this happened, would he disappoint all the people who had once trusted him? Or, would it confirm the suspicions of every one of them who secretly thought they could not have a higher expectation of him?