I lay in bed scrolling through Instagram my subconscious mind aware of the fact that I should really be sleeping as it was getting late . I log off and close my eyes waiting for sleep to over take me-but tonight slumber avoids me. I am not insomniac I normally sleep well within minutes after closing my eyes but tonight my mind wanders . I think of what was ,what is and what will be . I know it is pointless as a Muslim there is Tauba for our regrets and hope in the mercy of Allah,for the present there is Quraan,Sunna and Hadith and for our future there is Dua and belief in Qadr -that nothing happens but with the will of Allah.This is a battle that's been waging war endlessly back and forth in my mind ,a war between asking my self "why me" and knowing that Allah says to trust Him.
Many from the above will deduce that I'm some good Muslim from the above but really all I do is try and also believe me when I say that no body shows off or talks about their bad qualities it's only human to show off the best-but with time both shall be revealed.
I ask you not to judge but to pray for me,I am not writing this to publicize my faults but because I know I am not the only one going through this ,and I pray that this might help someone someday .
