Coffee || A Jopper Story

3

They still spent time together every day, despite the uneasy tension in the room. Joyce paid attention to his breathing and noticed the coughing getting a bit worse. She cursed the lab internally for taking so long with the results. They'd talk and laugh as they always had, though both of them were a bit more paranoid and somber. She was quick to check if he was okay, and he was a bit annoyed by it; it was nice that she cared, but at the same time it was annoying to hear 'Are you okay' every three seconds.

It was almost a month before Joyce finally got the results. They came in an orange envelope, and she practically tore it open. There was a really long lab report that she wanted to skip, but she forced herself to read every word, looking for anything she really needed to know. It had been a waste of time. She rolled her eyes and put it aside after she finished.

She read the results, and tears sprang to her eyes. She put her hand over her mouth and began sobbing in the break room. She couldn't have told anyone how long she was there, but she couldn't care less. Her whole world was crumbling around her, and there was nothing she could do about it.

She didn't go to see Hopper until late at night, she couldn't bear to ruin the whole day for him. She found him sleeping peacefully in the hospital bed, and the sight made her cry again. She sat on the chair beside his bed as usual and took his hand. She didn't let go that night, needing to be close to him.

He woke up to find Joyce sleeping in the chair next to him. Her head was bowed and she was holding his hand. Jim was scared to move because he didn't want to wake her up. It was another hour before she began to stir, and he turned to face her. "Morning, Joyce."

She yawned, then looked up at him. "Mornin'," she murmured. "Jesus, I need a cup of coffee."

"Grab me one while you're at it?"

"Sur- Nope. You're not allowed to have any coffee, Jim." She rolled her eyes playfully. "No, seriously. I talked to Ms. Josaec, and she said no. We don't have the kind of funds for patient coffee. Because one patient gets it and everyone wants it, you know?" She sighed. "Sorry..."

"Dangit, I almost had ya." He sighed. "But yeah, I get it."

Joyce laughed at his failed attempt and stood to go make her coffee. She forgot that she'd tucked the orange envelope in her pocket before she'd fallen asleep, and it tumbled to the floor. She panicked and scrambled to pick up the envelope, hoping he hadn't noticed.

He definitely had. "What is that?"

"What's what?" She tried to play dumb. It made her feel a bit guilty, trying to lie to him. But it would save him some pain, right? 

"That envelope. The orange one you're trying to hide in your pocket." She sighed and pulled it out.

 "Here..."

He didn't take it. "What is it..?"

"The results from the lab."

"How long have you had them?" He tried not to betray the hurt in his eyes, but part of him was a little bit upset that she'd been trying to hide them from him. 

"Since yesterday."

"Why didn't you come show me..?" She looked away, tears filling her eyes. "It's- It's not good, is it?"

"Do you want to see it yourself? Or should I tell you?" Her voice was sad and filled with resignation. She didn't turn to look at him when she spoke. 

He considered it for a second. "You tell me. Maybe it'll hurt less."

"Jim..." She took his hand in hers, turning to look at him with a mix of worry and sadness. "You've got cancer." He was shocked into silence; there was nothing he could say at that moment. "Lung cancer..."

It was a minute or two before he spoke. "How bad is i- what stage is it?"

She was quiet for a minute, then wiped her eyes. "Stage four." She looked away.

"Am I going to... survive? Will I be okay? Will we be okay?" 

"It's... unlikely. You could live a month or a year, I don't know. I'm sorry." She wanted to know why he was more worried about the two of them rather than himself. Why did they matter more than he did? She didn't say anything though.

Tears sprang to his eyes. "I- I don't want that- I don't want to leave you! I don't want to die!" 

"Hopper, I'm sure it will be okay. We'll figure it out, I promise." She started crying again, unable to control it.

"I have cancer, Joyce! Cancer! People die from cancer! And it's in my lungs?! I'm gonna freaking die!"

"Hopper, like I said, we'll figure it out."

"Do you not care?" His voice came out in a whisper, betraying the hurt he felt in that moment. He was going to die and his best friend was acting like she didn't care, like he didn't matter. 

"What..? Of course I care!"

"It doesn't seem like it, Joyce. It really doesn't." There was unintentional harshness in his voice. In that moment, it seemed like she didn't care about him at all. What had she been planning to do, not tell him until he was taking his last breaths? Did she want him to die? His fists clenched into fists as the anger he was feeling swirled around in his stomach and got worse.  

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" She snapped back, upset. She hated that he was angry at her, she hadn't been trying to hurt him. 

"Care! I want you to care!" He half-yelled. His voice was hoarse, and she flinched. He immediately felt bad, but she waved him off. 

"I do care! Believe me, I care. But Jim, this isn't the time to fight. I need to help you, and you've gotta focus on just... staying okay. I need you to stay okay. For me. Please." She begged.

"Joyce-" He was about to yell something back, but he replayed what she said again in his mind. "Joy... I- I'm sorry. I'm overreacting... It's just- I'm scared, okay? Death- it's never been something I thought might happen soon. But it's here, and I'm terrified." He started to cry. "I don't want to  fall asleep anymore. What if I don't wake up? What if- what if I don't get to say goodbye?" The tears came faster. "I don't want to die! I don't want to leave you!"

She had to think about what to say for a moment. They were both panicked, and Joyce had so many questions about what he said. Why did he care so much about her? Why did that matter? But she took a deep breath and simply tried to comfort him. 

"Hey, hey... Jim, calm down. Breathe." She leaned down next to him. "It's gonna be okay. Everything is gonna be okay." She wiped away his tears and rested her hand on his cheek. "We'll get through it, I promise." He covered her hand with his and nodded.