the year everything changed

even better

         I didn't sleep well at all that night. I'd only been asleep for a few hours before I woke up sick and had to run to the bathroom to throw up. Admittedly, I wasn't expecting it. I was sort of proud of myself. With everything that had happened that night, and with everything I drank, I hadn't gotten sick. It'd only been a sliver of pride, but it was still there. I was wrong though. Very wrong. I was glad, however, that Mckenzie slept through it all, I'd feel terrible if I woke her up. And then I sneezed and it felt like my head was being crushed. This was what a hangover felt like. Or, maybe it wasn't a hangover yet. Is it called a hangover if it's only been a couple of hours since you've been drinking? I wasn't sure what qualified. It also felt like it'd been ages since last night, so there was that too.

         After I'd gotten all of my sick out of me, I went back to bed and fell asleep faster than I think anyone has ever fallen asleep. I slept through the rest of the night and deep into the morning. By the time I woke up, the sun was yelling through Mckenzie's windows and the birds were telling stories. The only thing missing was Mckenzie. She wasn't on her side of the bed, rather, I'd taken up both halves. Had I gotten too comfortable? Did she leave the bed because of me? I slugged out of bed and brushed out the knots in my hair. I'd never been hungover before, and it sucked. I wished I'd said no to the party, in every sense. But it was all over now and I had to move on.

         As I walked down the stairs, I called for Mckenzie. "Mckenzie?" My voice was hoarse as I spoke and I cringed at the feeling.

         "Yeah?" She called back from the kitchen.

"Good morning," I said as I entered the room. She was sitting in a barstool with a bowl of cereal in front of her. Instead of eating it though, she was just stirring it around a little, looking at it in disgust.

"Morning," Mckenzie grumbled. Something had happened, I could feel it in the air. She was mad. Not fuming, but the kind of mad where at any second, at any slight move, you'll snap in two.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, opening the massive fridge. It was stocked to the brim, and I was overwhelmed with options. No one in my house ever bought this many groceries. We couldn't. It was a sort of survive-the-week situation. You'd have to ration out snacks so you weren't hungry on Saturdays. I was never hungry though, not when Annette was still home.

"It's Cole. I guess it doesn't really matter, but he's just so- so stupid!" She spat. I didn't speak, I didn't want to interrupt. I knew what it felt like to be interrupted. "He called me last night raging about how he wasn't invited to the party and I just- he doesn't even like parties! I invite him every time and all he does is whine and complain and then get mad when I don't want him there!" She was yelling at this point and I hoped Annette wasn't home because Annette hated yelling. I could never figure out how she and my mother were such good friends. "The only reason he even wanted me to invite him was so he could get me drunk and get lucky." She stopped speaking then, once she realized what she'd said. It didn't bother me, not all that much. The memories still stung a little though. "Sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up." She said quietly. "Sorry" was a strange word to hear from Mckenzie's mouth. Not that she wasn't a kind person, but she was confident, and hardly said things she felt she had to apologize for.

"It's okay. You didn't know." She walked to the sink and dumped her bowl as I spoke, her hair swaying with her. "You don't have to date him, you know. And I saw you kissing that guy last night."

"I know. I was just so angry at him and fed up. It made sense to kiss someone else. Now I'm mad at myself too."

"You were also drunk, Mckenzie. Like, really drunk. Why don't you break up with him? Just text him. Tell him you're done." I didn't have experience, but I knew what she had to do. This relationship was grating her down into nothing.

"I want to, I do, but he's going to be so mad at me."

"Yeah, well, he's already mad at you, Mckenzie." I walked over to the girl and took her phone from in front of her. It took me two tries to guess her password, then I scrolled through her apps to find her texts. She didn't even protest, like we had some unspoken understanding. To Cole, I texted, "We need to talk."

It took the boy hours to respond, and when he did, I made Mckenzie break up with him. Right there. She gave no explanation, no nothing. I thought in my head how proud I was of her. Then I thought how proud I was of myself. Mckenzie has always been independent, and I had finally found some way to lead her and call the shots.

"I think I'm just gonna go sit by the pool," Mckenzie said, letting out a sad, breathy sigh. I wasn't sure if she wanted to be alone or not, but I figured it couldn't hurt to ask.

"Mind if I join you," I asked, instantly regretting it. She definitely wanted to be alone- I was sure of it now.

"No, of course not. Could you grab some sunscreen first, though? Today's been bad enough, the worst that could happen is I get burnt to a crisp." I was surprised. Relieved. I gave no hesitation and skipped upstairs to change into a swimsuit and get the sunscreen. Then, I realized that I had no idea where sunscreen would be and should have asked Mckenzie first. Still, I knew I would search until I found it- God forbid I ask for help.

I slipped on a fresh bikini and eventually found a tube of sunscreen. It was some brand I'd never heard of and looked much nicer than the Up and Up bottle I used as a kid. Walking out of the bathroom, I saw my bathing suit from the night before, and almost wretched at the sight. Quickly, I shut the lights off and closed the door.

I spoke as I walked through the back door, "Hey, is this the right tube? I couldn't find any-" I shut up when I saw Mckenzie, head in hands, drowned in some mix of sobs and laughs. I was almost concerned at first, but figured it couldn't be anything too dangerous. "Are you alright?"

"I have no idea," Mckenzie sobbed with laughter. "I have no fucking idea."

I walked over to sit next to the girl on the edge of the pool.

"My fourth day here and everything already sucks," I said with a sarcastic scoff.

"Third," Mckenzie said quietly.

"What?" I asked.

"It's only your third day." She was right. It was.

"Even better."