I have never given thought that I would have a loving family...or even discover happiness and the warmth of love. Though who would adopt a child who can't stand the idea of being touched? Or barely leaves the room in the orphanage? As the years went...
I remain in my car. I am simply not ready to get out. The school building is ahead, but I see the students prancing here and there and venturing into the building. However, there are those that remain in the student parking lot to cast their wandering eyes upon where I sit. Some even let me witness their whispering into each other's ears as they turn their eyes in my direction. It frustrates me to the core that humans would ridicule other humans. We all have flaws and some we share those flaws.
Will I ever escape unwanted attention? Or will I remain a nuisance?
I hold Anna's hand with more force, and I worry if I might cut her circulation of her fingers. Anna waves it off and continues to grip my hand between the arm rests of my car. I will never know what I would do without her. Probably still at the orphanage. No...I must not have such thoughts. Though I sometimes cannot help but to have them as it may be true that I would have remained there without Anna.
"Are you okay now, Elsa?" I hear Anna say. I turn my gaze from the window and see Anna with a worrisome expression upon her face. I squeeze her hand again and smile painfully at her.
"It is alright, Anna. I guess I remain a little nervous," I say to her.
" 'Kay, but you wanna go to school right? At least from what I think," she said unsurely. I try to giggle, but I must show Anna that I can become capable of standing on my own two feet.
" 'Conceal. Don't feel. Don't let it show.' Just as Father has said to us, right?" I quoted.
"Yeah, I mean I think so. Though it doesn't matter if we show fear or weakness, 'cause either way we still have it," Anna said. I suppose she is right, after all... we are still humans.
RING!
Seems that the first bell has rung. How saddening...
"Okey-dokey, Elsa! Come on we shouldn't be late on our second day! Well technically yeah our second day, 'cause you know our first we- okay you know what? Imma shut up," Anna rambles with a blush. I chuckle and start to get out of my car and locking it. We exit through the parking lot iron gate, before entering the tall building. Anna still has an arm through my own and we move towards the direction of my homeroom. Anna has studied what classes I take and even knows where they are at. She even has a specific map drawn out on routes to each of my class, and I guess for emergencies or simply walking me to my next class. Though I appreciate for her caring nature to do such actions for me.
"Okay, Elsa. Are you going to be okay from here?"
I look up and see that we are in front of my homeroom class door. I guess I was lost in my thoughts.
"Um, yes I suppose so. Thank you, Anna," I thank her.
"No problem, sis!- RING!- ah, shoot that's the late bell! Well I'll see you soon, Elsa," Anna said while kissing me on my cheek. She runs off towards her class, and I worry for her as there will be those who will interrogate her of the first day of school. I must suppress the urge to skip classes to keep an eye out for her and turn to the door. I once again shakily grasp the metal doorknob and turn it. All I can say is there are now many eyes gazing at me.
"Why, hello Ms. Elsa!" Mr. Andrews welcomes me with a rather large smile. Now they are going to be nice to me and show me pity? Pitifull...I have to show that I am not weak.
"Forgive my absence, Mr. Andrews. Though if I may, do not treat me differently. I presume that you're aware of my 'conditions', but I am merely here to learn and not have pity placed upon me," I quietly said to him with a fake smile. He looks at me with a surprised expression and precipitation grows on his forehead as he gulps. I see many students turn their gazes away from me and onto their desks. Maybe I spoke out of turn? Though I see Olaf next to my seat, and he pats it as if to say 'sit here'. I walk towards the seat and sit in it. I look up at Mr. Andrews as he loosens his tie and wrings his hands.
"Okay! So today class, we will begin..."
"Psst! Hey, Elsa!," a voice whispers. I turn to Olaf and I can see that he still has no control of the wisps of hair on the top of his head.
"Yes, Olaf?"
"Aw...you remember my name!" he softly murmurs with a rather cute blush upon his cheeks. He shrugs his shoulders up to his ears and swings side-to-side with clasped hands. I could not help but chuckle softly as he does this.
"Olaf, you're adorable but what is it that you caught my attention for?" I asked with a small smile, only this time it is not a fake one. Olaf blushes even more if I say so myself.
"Um, hi? No, I wanted to say 'welcome back'!" he accidentally shouts out. Now everyone turns their gazes from the front of the room to us. My goodness...
"Mr. Snow, is there something that is more interesting than from what I am teaching?" Mr. Andrews sternly asked.
"Uh...um. I was just w-welcoming E-Elsa," Olaf said and his blush and smile is gone. No, I want to see him smiling!
"Oh, well...um can you please not shout it in the middle of class next time?" Mr. Andrews nervously said.
" 'Kay," Olaf returns with his head bowed. Mr. Andrews continues back with his lessons. I turn to Olaf and give him a nudge and he looks up.
"Do not stop smiling, Olaf. We don't want to see you sad, besides we need to pay attention more on Mr. Andrews and not your desk," I tell him. Olaf smiled (there it is!) and blushes. We then return our attention to Mr. Andrews.
Nice way to start school...
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I am once again surrounded with students in the glass hallway. Only this time, students whisper at each other while looking at me. I suppose Anna was right about how gossip spreads like a cold or flu. However, I do hope that the gossip is not too out of details of the truth instead of built up stories. Anna did mention something of such things in school, and I should believe that it is happening to me.
"I heard that she fell, while getting to her cubbie.."
"Really? I thought it was because..."
"She tried to act sad when Jack rejected her..."
"She is pretty..."
Jack...I was sorely focused on myself that I never took consideration of how Jack feels! How selfish of me, a lady must not act selfish! I do hope that in Audio Pro. that we can become friends and get along.
RING!
The bell has rung, but I cannot help but feel so inconsiderate for Mr. Frost. All this time I was worried for my sake for being ridiculed when Jack can also be in the same shoes as myself.
Jack, I thought, I hope we can be friends and...please do forgive me.
