"Unforgivable Woes"

"Please! Please, I have two children to take care of. Let us go!"
"Man, fuck this piece of shit! You ain't about to have me begin for my life. Do what you gon do."
"Darnell, will you shut up? Stop talking like that before you get yourself killed."
"You think I wanna die, Lisa? Huh! You think I want this muthafucka to kill me? Fuck no, but I'm not a bitch! I'm not beggin for my life. You think he gon let us go? We got bags over our heads and we been strapped to these fuckin chairs for god knows how long! He playin mind games and shit like a little ass boy. You can't even show yourself, you pussy!"

I'd been watching them for hours. They felt my presence in the room, even though they couldn't see me. Darnell continued to shout obscenities while Lisa cried and begged for her life. I could have cared less. I had done a lot of research in order to make this happen. At first, I didn't think that I could go through with it. Was I capable of killing two people? Yes, yes I was.

Darnell was the easiest to catch. All I needed was a bottle of Christian Brothers and a decent looking prostitute. Every Friday, after his eight hour shift at Buffalo Wild Wings, Darnell would drive to Franklin boulevard, reaching The Beer Hole at exactly 5:32 pm. I watched him for weeks, waiting for the perfect moment.

The difficulty was with Lisa. I had to grab both of them on the same day, so they could die together. Lisa was a very busy woman, but I got her in the end.

On Friday morning, around 4:45 am, she left her house jogging. I waited patiently in a ditch nearby. As I waited for her I thought, this would be the day they would remember.

Darnell Morrison and Lisa Stroud were never heard of again. Their bodies were never found. The police had no leads. This would be a secret that would die with me. The only reason I'm talking to you is because you seem like a good listener. I like that. So keep quiet and let me continue with my story.

I had their faces covered up for about four, five hours. Lisa had been here a little longer than Darnell. I could tell she was exhausted, and she reeked of urine. I thought of the irony, her pissing her pants. How on many occasion, I was the one in her predicament, left to fend for myself.

The wait was finally over for them. I was ready to get it done and over with. I was the last face they would see. They brought me into this world, but I would be the one taking them out.

"Yeah, take this shit off me you bitch ass, Sasha? What the fuck? Untie me!"

"Sorry, I can't do that."

"What the fuck you mean you can't? Lisa do you hear this shit!"

"Baby, sweetie, let us go. This has gone on long enough. We can get you help."

"No Mom, I'm not the one who's in trouble. I brought you two here for the same reason. Terrible parenting...you two, you didn't do it right. You were supposed to be there for me, but instead you were too busy doing what you wanted to do, instead of taking care of your responsibilities. All I wanted,"

"Sasha, Michele, muthafuckin Stroud. If you don't untie me, I swear on ma momma's grave,"

"What are you going to do, Darnell? What the hell are you going to do! You're strapped to a chair. You think that I'm supposed to be afraid of you? Huh! Do you?"

"Watch who your talkin to, missy. I'm still your father."

"Oh now you're my father? That's funny. I remember when I actually needed a father. Hmm... Let's see... There was that time where I was in need of school clothes...When I had my heart broken for the very first time. Oh! And let's not forget when I was molested by one of your home boys. Those were times I needed a father. I don't need one now. It's your turn to listen and my turn to speak, so shut the fuck up!"

"Sweetie, please. Stop this nonsense. We can get you help."

"No, it's too late, Mom. It's too late."

When you grow up with no parental guidance, something happens to you. I'm sure everyone would agree. Some children turn out fine, better than fine in a lot of cases. Others turn out exactly like their parents, or worse. I'm in between.

As a child, I stayed to myself, locked away in my room while my mother fucked random men in the living room. My dad was never around. I'd see him a few years at a time through passing.

I wasn't a bad kid though. I never understood why I got the parents that I did. They didn't care about me and my brother. All they cared about were themselves. I was the one who cooked damn near every night. I was the one who stayed in school despite my troubles. I don't get people. Why would you have children if you weren't going to take care of them? Why carry children through a messed up lifestyle?

The thing is, I turned out to be the normal one, the go-getter in my family. While my brother flew to the streets, I continued to pursue a career. I was the first to graduate high school as well as college. The first one to start my own business. People would look at me in awe, wondering how I could rise above the life I had lived, a home without love and support.

At that moment, when I reached the top, success, I thought that I'd feel relief. Instead, I felt angry, angry that I had to go through everything alone. I was mad at them for treating me the way they did when I had turned out so well. I wanted them to pay for what they had done to me. I wanted them to regret how they had raised me.

So after hearing what I had to say, you would think that they had a change of heart. My parents still didn't give a shit. Darnell kept shouting and Lisa kept crying. She kept saying 'I'm your mother' and ' I birthed you'. I didn't feel sorry for what I did to them, I still don't. Their vices were their demise. I just sped up the process.

Lisa enjoyed partying and men. She loved to blow lines off their dicks become getting fucked. I gave her what she wanted, what she chose over her children. Eventually she overdosed, on both.

Darnell loved to drink and abuse women. He got off on it. He refused to drink, but that was all right. I fixed him up. While his veins we're pumped with alcohol, I decided I wanted more. Well, I thought, he sure does love himself. Darnell died being force fed his limbs, starting with his best friend.

I can move on now. My demons are at peace...well almost. I should have told you before I started this story. That was wrong of me. You were so attentive and understanding, I tried to talk myself out of it. I'm so sorry, sweetie, but I can't let you live knowing what I've done. You don't know everything, but you know enough. I'll try my best to make it quick and painless. Relax, hold still.