Before She was Pale Eyes

when things turn sour

Unedited
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And the girl stayed wrapped in Blondie's arms for too long.

She fell under his spell for too long, believed that he really loved her for too long.

She figured it out too late, that she needed to rid herself of him. That escaping from his suffocating grasp was the only thing she needed at that point of her life. But she didn't want to admit that he was a monster, that he was something that she couldn't see when she first met him. That he was abusing her.

The day she feared for her safety, started out like any other day with her and the boy.

Calm, comfortable. Loving, almost. 

She was perched on his bed, her pale eyes wandering around his room, admiring the many posters of bands they both enjoyed plastered on the walls. Her legs were swinging absentmindedly, whacking against the bed frame as she waited for the boy to finish setting up Netflix on his Xbox, and her head swaying gently to the music playing softly from her phone. 

Blondie turned his gaze towards her and shot her a look, "Could you sit still for a damn minute?" He asked, his voice gruff and holding his usual authoritarian tone. 

The girl quickly tucked her legs up onto the bed, crisscross style, and hung her head so she was looking at her lap. Quietly, she fidgeted with her fingers, rubbing at them nervously, a habit she had recently formed. 

Finally, after too long of moments filled with awkward silence (and tension) the movie began to play. The girl couldn't even remember the name of the stupid thing, the one the boy made her watch at least once a week. She learned to tune it out, and sighed softly as the boy tugged her into his lap and scooted them back to his headrest.

Throughout the movie, the girl found herself lost in a little world of drawing and painting ideas, completely ignoring the boy targeted film. That was, until Blondie started to get antsy.

His lips were constantly pecking at the girl's neck, and jaw. His hands traveling up her sides and too close to her chest.

She found herself squirming, twisting from his strong grasp, while swatting his hands with her own. "What are you doing?" She asked, her pale eyes widening.

"Kissing you?" Blondie replied, raising an eyebrow curiously at her.

The girl shook her head rapidly, scooting out of his reach. "No, that wasn't kissing. Your hands were on my boobs!" She mumbled in a frantic voice.

"Relax, baby. You know there is a thing called making out and sex, right?" He countered, running his tongue across his lower lip.

"What the hell, we haven't even been dating that long and we're so young." The girl said hesitantly.

The boy scooted closer to her, a look in his blue eyes that made the girl feel uneasy. "Yeah, but we love each other, and that's the way of showing it."

"If you think sex, is the only way to show your love for someone, then you're wrong. You're totally disregarding asexuals and demisexuals and everything inbetween." The girl muttered, tugging at her hair gently. "But that's besides the point right now, why do you want to rush things? What if I want to wait to have sex?"

The boy laughed and grabbed her wrist pulling her to him again. "You're playing games with me baby, that's cute. I know you're not as innocent as you look." He said, his voice becoming husky.

"Let got of me." The girl said firmly, knowing she couldn't escape him.

When he didn't, she began to fight against him. "Let me GO." She screeched. "I don't want to sleep with you. In fact I don't even want to be with you anymore!"

With a growl, Blondie released his grasp and pushed her away. "What did you just say?" He asked, fury written in his facial features.

The girl froze, eyes wide again. "I.. I.." She paused, then swallowed nervously. "I.. don't want to be with you anymore. I think we're done."

"Stop kidding around, you'd never leave me." The boy said simply, "I'm everything to you. I'm the only comfortable thing for you here. You're going to be a lost sheep."

The girl crawled off his bed, her fists clenched at her sides and felt her body begin to tremble. "But I'm not, I'll be fine without you." She was quiet for a moment. "Can I leave now?" She winced, realizing what she'd done.

She'd asked for his permission, to leave her abuser, like she had so many times before. His permission had been everything to her. He merely let out a blood curdling laugh.

"Where are you going to go? You're nothing without me. Worthless." He nearly snarled, rephrasing what he said previously. "I made you and I gave you all the "friends" you have. You'll be like one of those losers we make fun of."

She fought back tears, and backed up slowly out of his room. "You mean the people you make fun of, Blondie." She whispered. "And it seems that all along, that's all I was to you. Someone to make fun of and abuse."

When she fled down the stairs, she heard something shatter against a wall. Once. Twice. Then shouting. Loud shouting, filled with rage and terror.

"You better fucking look over your shoulder, you bitch." Blondie screamed. "You are and always will be nothing, worthless scum without me. You were the one who brought this upon yourself, because you were such a terrible girlfriend."

The girl found herself sitting on the boy's porch, her body shaking with sobs, as she wondered if she'd made the wrong decision.

Because Blondie was right.

She had no one. There was no one she could call to pick her up and be a shoulder to cry one.

She was nothing without him.

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Bella's note: sorry for super long wait, I had a lot going on that wasn't particularly fun for me, and I wish I could have been writing instead.

(Tell me what you think of the chapter, its much appreciated!!)

-xx