The Scared ones,

phantom

The sqeak of the rocking chair and the ticks of the clock have became my own companions, they are the only ones who make noise and talks with me. The faint sunrays from the attic window enters inside. Not inside enough to reach my heart. It's not lighted up. It's been shutted down long ago. For years.

My room, if only one can say it's a room, has been the utmost prove of my state. I am in distress, acute distress. I am not sure what to do, how to do, why should I even do something. When I am prohibited not to.

Not be alive.

I am not alive.

Am I? 

Some one is going to come today. A guest, no a caretaker, a nanny, that's what they say in common English. For my boy. My sister is not going to be here forever, is she. She's a prideful woman, recently elected as the mayor. She's going to leave for the city often, therefore a caretaker for my child.

He's not a blood relative of my child. He should not be in my house, take care of my child, I can do that very well.      Well, my sister thinks different. She said a nanny would be the perfect and i am not allowed to come in front of her, whenever she's here.

I won't.

The door of my child's room opened. My sister entered and caressed my boy. He's a lovely child. Been a good boy throughout the day. And after her entered another,

Woman.

It was a woman. My breath quickened and eyes were of the saucers in my table. What was a woman doing here in my child's room. There was supposed to be a nanny. A male butler.

She looked around, a petite yet tall body. She's not too thin but had the right amount of curves. The attire she was wearing, was not like the ones we wear in this country side. Some pants and a flimsy material on the top.

I was a man. I saw breast.

It's been so long I have seen any other woman who have not screa-

''No''

My heart dropped into my stomach. She went scared and was about to ran away when my sister caught her and calmed her.

A smile came up my face, I think I have a face, because she thought my boy was a doll because she's been watching horror flims too much. Funny.

But she shouldn't be here. She's not suppose to take care of my son. She won't be doing it. How does she can convince that she has experience. I am sure she hadn't have any child before and lacks a lot of patience. I know how city girls are. They lack sympathy, they are way too flashy and judgemen-

'' what's you name child ? You're such a pretty boy ''

Honey. Her voice was like smooth honey dropping down my ears. Such a  sweet and soft voice. It was kind of voice which is sure would roam down my head forever.

My child was a little uncomfortable to answer, so my sister on his behalf said his name. She smiled at him and said, how they were going to be good friends.

Then my sister took her out of the house to downstairs, I cannot go there with my state. But I heard what ever they discussed. I heard how she was  little hesitating with her job and didn't knew much about how things work in England.

Yet she agreed, must be really desperate. My sister knows what people to choose for the assigned job.

The woman often looked around and smiled. She was pretty, no doubt in that.
But she cannot work in here. I didn't know why, but she felt off-limits. What if she behaves rudely with my son. What if she hits him. My only son, my child, I will wipe one's existence if they hurt my loved one.

She nodded at everything and got up to leave for her place, which was basically in a rented house with her friend. She was pretty new here and for the betterment of her job my sister offered her the carriage van.

Fine, I'll see too, how many days she sticks.

_____________________________