Faithfully Yours

Chapter 17

"Ah! Binnie stop!!"

A shrill scream pierces through the air as Changbin tosses Hyunjin over his shoulder, the shorter male manhandling his fiancé as if he weighed nothing. The man's biceps bulge as Felix's friend squirms trying to get out of the hold. The fight is pointless, Hyunjin stands no chance of escaping and within seconds his friend is launched into the ocean.

Felix laughs deeply as the elder comes up gasping for air cursing at his partner. The time Hyunjin had spent fixing his hair that morning now wasted. His laughter doesn't last long, the humor drifting away as Chan and Jisung swim back to shore and start walking toward their beach chairs.

Chan's ripped body emerging from the sea pulls a sigh out of him. From this distance, he can see the water droplets sliding down a tanned six pack and it takes everything he has to not crawl on his knees and beg to lick them away.

"Are you going to survive this weekend?"

Minho's voice comes from next to him. The man's tone teasing and light.

"Hyung don't tease me. I haven't had sex in eight years and fuck that man is looking like a sex buffet. I'm so pent up all he would need to do is blow on my dick and I would cum."

"Sung-ah says Chan hasn't hooked up with anyone since meeting you again. I bet he's pent up too."

Biting the inside of his cheeks he tries to hide the pleasure he takes in hearing that Chan is not seeing anyone or sleeping around. Felix had spent the last week coming up with grandiose plans to seduce the other only to chicken out the moment they were staying under the same roof.

It's not that he isn't confident in himself. He is. It's just that fantasizing about sliding into Chan's bed at night is a lot easier in his mind than actually doing it. The Chan he pictures in his brain pulls him close and spends the night reawakening Felix's slumbering desires. Chan in real life however....he doesn't know.

The boost to his confidence brought about by the man's jealousy hadn't lasted long. Doubt creeps in when he imagines sliding into the man's sheets and being turned away. If Chan were to tell him no, the weekend would be ruined. Not to mention his mental state. Flopping back on his beach towel frustration has him digging his toes in the sand.

The indecision is making him nauseous. One second he's prepared to take the plunge and risk it all, the next he's too scared to jeopardize the fledgling friendship they have.

With every breath he takes he wants the elder more and more. He yearns to spend hours in Chan's arms again. Time spent not just relearning each other's bodies but the man himself.

Does he have the same fears and insecurities as before or has he overcome them? Does Chan still struggle with his self-image or has age brought him confidence?

The years apart had changed them both. They'd grown as individuals, developing into adults separate from each other. Would they still fit as well as before? Would Felix still be able to make him beg for more using nothing but his mouth? At one point in time, Chan had mapped every square inch of Felix's skin with his tongue. Does he remember the well traversed paths between the younger's hard edges and curves or are those memories a victim of father time as well?

His feelings are beyond physical desires, he wants Chan in every way a person can crave another. Would he be able to survive trying again only to learn that Chan doesn't love the man Felix has become?

It feels like their relationship was a lifetime ago...maybe it was. Maybe the life each has built for themself is no longer compatible with the other. If they could get back to the place of loving each other again...would it look the same? Feel the same? Is his love for the elder real or the ghost of affection clinging to the memories of the boy he'd gifted his heart to as an adolescent?