I Vowed I Would Always Be Yours

1. Broken and Blue

March 2023

Taylor Swift sets down her glass of wine abruptly on the table, signing loudly. She's exasperated, having exhausted all the methods. She is failing to communicate with Joe Alwyn. The relationship has persisted through her entire internet cancelling fiasco, high levels of tour fame, even a worldwide pandemic. She just feels the love fizzling out, and she can't figure out how to rekindle it. It doesn't help that she feels like Joe isn't even trying. They've been together six years, six years with no ring. He doesn't see her.

"I'm sorry Joe, I don't know what to do!" she says, aggravated. He just doesn't listen. He stands in the kitchen, arms crossed, angry. They are in the middle of some stupid fight, again. This seems to be a reoccurring theme of theirs, arguments before bed leaving them to sleep separately.

"What do you expect me to do? Honestly Taylor. What do you want from me?" He yells. "Do you want me to leave?" That does it for her. After all they've been through, he knows better than to threaten to leave.

"No I don't! How could you say that to me, Joe! After all we've been throu-"

"Apparently all we've been through hasn't been enough, because this isn't working anymore!" He interrupts, throwing his hands in the air. He won't let her speak. "I feel like you're not happy with me anymore. I don't want to be the reason you're upset. Taylor I love you, you know that but maybe- maybe this has run its course," he says to her, more gently than his previous outburst. Half a minute passes before she speaks.

"Maybe," she whispers through tears. She knows he's right, but she never accepted that it would get to this point. She saw them, in her dreams, lasting forever. After all, you don't spend six years of your life for something you didn't think would last. "I just thought we had a future."

"So did I. I moved from my country to be with you!"

She scoffs at that. "We've had this same argumen-"

"I'm sick of this! All we do is bicker. I can't even sleep in our bedroom anymore!" He interrupts again, pacing.

"Fine! You want to leave? Be my guest," she answers harshly while taking a swig of the wine.
"I never said I wanted to! I was saying what you want-"

"Well I never said I wanted you-"

"Just stop! Taylor. Love. Just tell me what you want."

"I don't know," she answers him shortly, honestly. She doesn't know what she wants, but she knows it's not this.

"No? You don't? You seem to be having a ton of strong opinions lately," he almost taunts. "You seem to know everything I've done wrong and everything-"

"Fine! Leave! Just go," she interrupts, suddenly breaking down in sobs.

He looks at her, sympathetically. He was too harsh knowing how hard she's been trying to keep this alive. His best comfort to her might actually be to leave. "... Ok."

She couldn't believe that word left his mouth. He slowly walks up the stairs, grabs a suitcase from the closet, and begins throwing his clothes into it. Taylor just sits in the kitchen, crying into her hands. Time isn't passing for her. When he walks down with two suitcases, he goes to embrace her, but is rejected.
"Taylor...-"

"Just go!" She manages between sobs. This doesn't need to be any harder than it already is. While she aches for his touch, she can't seek comfort from this man anymore. She would end up staying with him, repeating this unhealthy cycle where they clearly needed space.

He stands by her for a few seconds longer than normal, unsure of what to do. Finally he whispers "I'm sorry" and exits quietly.

—-
Joe sits in his car, not quite processing what just went down. Nothing feels real. Every piece of him wants to rush back to comfort the poor woman sobbing inside, but she has made it clear she wants him gone. Doing the next best thing, he reaches out to one of her close friends to come be with her. With that done, he drives himself to the airport, and books a flight for London. Taking a commercial airline is something he hasn't done in the last six years. This is where it hits him.

Twenty seven minutes later, Jack Antonoff knocks on her front door, and lets himself in. Her security team knows him very well, letting him pass through. Once in the kitchen, he calls her name, unable to find her. Silence. Finally a meek, confused whisper "Jack?"

She's laying on the floor up against the couch crying, with the bottle of wine and tissues thrown around. "Oh Taylor."

She sits up quickly, sniffles, and laughs knowing what a mess she must look like. "I'm sorry I wasn't expecting anyone... what are you doing here?"

"Well you didn't show at the studio, and Joe texted that you'd be here instead. Do you- do you want me to leave?"

"No, no I need to write. Sorry for ditching you, I totally forgot, I'm sorry. Just give me a second please," she answers, picking up the tissues and walking to clean up. "Help yourself to anything, Jack," she calls out.

She emerges tear-free, glad she's no longer alone. She carries her journal to the living room where Jack's waiting.

      She sits on the other end of the couch from him. A second of silence passes. He doesn't know what he can say.

      "Joe?" Silence again follows.

      "Yeah. I knew it was coming eventually, but I- I didn't think- I don't know. It happened so quickly. I've been writing about it forever though," she laughs, holding up her journal. "I have multiple... things written."

    "What've you got?" Aaron, asks, intrigued. She opens up to a poem, with the chorus being a repeat of four words- Stop, you're losing me.

      "Wow," as he reads over the poem. "I had no idea that-"

"I wanted the background track to be my heartbeat," she interrupts, not wanting to speak about the split any further. Jack catches on pretty quickly.

      "Like-"

      "Yes, like Cornelia Street. I wanted to parallel a ton of my love songs. All of them," she says, making crazy wide eyes. "If I can! Even the ones that aren't about him."

       "Well lets get started!"