I Vowed I Would Always Be Yours

4. Crimson Clover

Taylor's voice hitches as she hears a very tired, accented voice ask her name, pronouncing it "Tayluh?" Immediately, she feels so idiotic, not even remembering to think about how the British man is in fact in London, and that it is in fact the middle of the night. She panics for a second, her thoughts caught in her throat. Finally she speaks, stumbling over her words and making an absolute fool of herself.

"I- I'm so sorry I didn't even- I mean I should've known I just didn't- I'm sor.. sorry I woke you up."
"It's alright," he says calmly after a brief pause, and she imagines him shrugging his shoulders as he speaks. How was he so calm?! "I assumed that if you called, something important was going on. I left your ringer on just in case."

"Oh- oh no it's nothing! I'm sorry for waking you. I'll just go-let you get back to sleep ...sorry," she answers, kicking herself at this newfound inability to speak. Here she was thinking he had answered because it was her, because he loved her.

"Hey. It's fine, Tay," he answers gently, pulling her from her mind. He has dealt with a fair share of anxiety, and she hates that this might be how he remembers her if they never speak after this call again. "What's going on?" Silence answers his question. "Taylor?"

She means to say I love you. "I miss you," she whispers instead, slurring the words enough so it's not known whether she said I miss you or I missed you. She wonders if he's even heard her.

"I miss you too," he whispered back in a comedic level of quiet. "Why are we whispering?" He asks smiling, back to his regular tone. She couldn't help but grin widely at his attempt of humor. He chuckles after hearing her blow a short breath from her nose. Then back to quiet.

"Joe, I.."

"I heard your song," he jumps in confidently. A wave of fear pierces, she's about to hear his reaction after countless nights of worrying. "It was beautiful Taylor, beautiful but terrible," he says gently. "I'm so sorry I made you feel unseen. I- I know I messed up but I never meant to hurt you." For the first time, he also seems at a loss for words. "Taylor the truth is I bought a-"

"Hey it's ok, really, I-"

"I guess it really hit me when the song came out. I just remembered how you'd play me every song you'd written. Like all one hundred of them while we were together," he laughs sadly, reminiscing. "It was just something we'd always do together, and I loved it. And then I realized you never sang me this song," he laughs, "I mean for good reason of course but-"

"Joe.."

"To be honest, I cried the first time I heard it. I had no idea it was that bad, honestly. I guess that was the issue, I just wasn't listening anymore. I stopped- I messed up. If I had the chance to change it, I would. In a heartbeat. For you." Tears welled in her eyes at his confession, but he continues before she can. "I would've married you," he whispered quickly, honestly.

"What?" She croaks through her tears. This hurts too much.

"I bought a ring. In August, actually. But... it wasn't you, I promise. I just thought I wouldn't be enough. And I guess that must be where our communication issues started, because I was too scared to be honest. But I can be now. It's just your level of fame was frankly astounding, and I couldn't comprehend how you'd settle with me."

"Joe-"

"With the short film winning crazy and then midnights and of course the Era's tour-"

"Joe! Let me speak. You knew that when it was the two of us, it was just us. No titles, no fame. You knew..." She stops, voice breaking over the sobs. "You're all I wanted... I would've married you too." A sharp intake of breath is all she receives for an answer. He started the honest confessional, it was only right that she continue it. It was all or nothing.

"You would've?" He asks quietly. Was he asking if she meant she would've married him if he asked, because he was enough? Or was he asking "you would've" married me in the past but now you wouldn't? She wasn't sure. She answers anyways.

"Will you come back home?" Her heart is beating through her chest, she wonders if he can hear it through the phone. Where did this sudden rush of bravery come from?

"If you'll let me back? Yes, love I'll come home." He probably can't hear her heartbeat, but she can definitely hear his smile.

"I missed you-" he starts.

"I love you-" she also starts, speaking at the same time as him. They laugh over the discontinuance.

"I love you too, Taylor. I never stopped." At that confession, she breaks down, sobbing. She was helpless to control it.

"Hey! Baby it's ok-"

"No- it's fine I-I promise. I was just so, so nervous for this call I had no idea what you would say and so I drank two glasses of wine but my bodyguard had to lock it up so I had to ask him because well I messed up while you were gone but you see two wasn't quite enough and I was shaking-" she rambled on incoherently, sobbing and worked up.

"Hey I only caught about half of that, but how about you catch me up when I get home. Speaking of which, where is home right now?"

"New York," she laughs. "I'll send my jet over right now. Or, as soon as my pilot can get to the airport. I'll text you when he'll be arriving at your airport. Which is...?"

"London Stansted."

"Perfect! He'll be right over. I'm going to let you go so I can get you a time, but you should have about seven hours to sleep."

"Taylor, its nearly four in the morning."

"Right," she laughs, "you can't sleep-in past eight. I remember," she smiles. "Well try anyways. I love you Joe."

"Love you, Swift. I'll see you tomorrow." The call ends, and Taylor can't stop smiling. Her heart is filled, and she genuinely cannot believe how the call went down. She honestly had no plan for the conversation, only to begin with a confession of I love you which morphed into I miss you.

She runs to her guard in the foyer. "It worked!" She squealed, raising her arms up in celebration. "Joe's coming home!" The bodyguard matched her smile, but before he could speak she already began. "Come on, let's go!" She gasps at her idea. "I'm going to get on the plane!"

"Are you sure?" He asks, checking his watch, but still grinning at his very excited boss.

"Positive! Come on, there's couches you can sleep on in the plane! Let's go!" And with that she practically skips down the stairs to the car garage, too excited to realize or care that she was still barefoot.