Cali- There! Right There!
Cali- Look at that tan, that tinted skin
Cali- Look at the killer shape he's in
Cali- Look at that slightly stubbly chin
Cali- Oh Please he's gay, totally gay
Texas-I'm not about to celebrate
Texas -Every trait could indicate the straight expotriate.
Texas -This guy's not gay, I say not gay
50 states-That is the elephant in the room
50 states- is it relevant to assume
50 states-that a man who wears perfume
50 states- is automatically magically gay?
Cali-But look at his coiffed and crispy locks
Washington-Look at his silk translucent socks
Orogen- There's the eternal paradox
Orogen- Look what we're seeing
50-What are we seeing?
Louie-Is he gay?
Cali- Of course he's gay
Northeast- Or European?
50- ohhhh
50- Gay or European?
50-it's hard to guarantee
50-Is he gay or European?
Idaho- Well, hey don't look at me
New York -You see they bring their boys up different
in those charming foreign ports
Mass-They play peculiar sports
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts
50-Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks
They will say things like "ciao bella"
while they kiss you on both cheeks
Oh please
50-Gay or European?
So many shades of gray
Louie-
Depending on the time of day
The French go either way
50-Is he gay or European?
or-
Hawaii- There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk
Seen it on every guy at work
That is a metro-hetero jerk
That guy's not gay, I say no way
50-That is the elephant in the room
Well is it relevant to presume
that's a hottie in that costume
Is automatically, radically
Ironically, chronically
Scurtinly, certainly
Genetically, genetically
Gay!
Officially Gay!
Officially Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay!
Dammit
Gay or European?
Hawaii-So stylish and relaxed
50-Is he gay or European?
Alaska- I think his chest is waxed
New Mexico- But they bring their boys up differently there
New Jersey- It's culturally diverse
New York- It's not a fashion curse
Cals-If he wears a kilt or bears a purse
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code
Maryland- Yet his accent is hypnotic
but his shoes are pointy-toed
50- Huh
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray
50- Is he gay or European?
Gay or European?
Gay or Euro-
New Jersey- Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy
I have an idea I'd like to try
New York- The floor is yours
So Mr. D.C ...
This alleged affair with Ms. Tokyo
has been going on for...?
D.C-2 years
Jersey- And your first name again is...?
D.C- District
Jersey- And your boyfriend's name is...?
D.C- Florida
D.C -I'm sorry! I misunderstand
You say, boyfriend
I thought you said best friend
Florida is my best friend
*Sound of running and the door opening*
Florida- You bastard!
You lying bastard!
That's it
I no cover for you, no more!
Florida- Peoples
I have a big announcement
This man is gay and European!
And neither is a disgrace
you've got to stop being
a completely closet case
Florida- No matter what he says
I sware he never swing the other way
You are so gay!
You big parfait!
You flaming boy in Cabaret!
D.C- I'm straight!
Florida- You were not yesterday
Florida -So if I may, I'm proud to say
He's gay!
50- And European!
Florida- He's gay!
50- And European!
Florida- He's gay!
50- And European and Gay!
D.C- Fine okay I'm gay!
(All)
Hooray!
I'm sorry, I heard this song and I had to do it.
