Advices [TAERIN] ✔

二十五

Ever since the incident of Taehyung's uncle passing away, his parents came back from work to take care of him. They knew what kind of place Wonho had deep in Taehyung, and they could only regret that they didn't care much about him, resulting in him keeping everything to himself.

Taehyung has never blamed his parents for neglecting him ever since he was a child. He understood how working is extremely important to a family, despite them being rich. But he has always found it hard to rant to his parents or empty out his bottle of stress and uneasiness to them. He found it hard to tell them how he was feeling right now, how empty he was feeling without the companion of his uncle, and how his uncle died because of him.

If he hadn't been childish and kept demanding a surprise, his uncle wouldn't have had to rush back home from work, and he wouldn't have been caught up in the car accident. He knew he was the one to be blamed, but he had no idea how can he tell all these to his parents. He was afraid of telling them the truth, he was also afraid that the moment he started relying on his parents, he would again be overly attached to them. He knew they were his parents and it was okay for him to be overly attached. But the pain of losing a loved one whom you see every day was too much of a pain for him. It's like a drug. Imagine seeing someone you love every single day, that's as if you are taking drugs every day without fail. But one day the loved one passed away, and you were forcefully stopped to take the drug. It felt the same to him, it was so painful and there's nothing that can ease that down.

Gradually, as time passed, the more he was keeping all the truth and secrets to himself, the more depressed he was getting. Before he knew it, he was diagnosed with depression. He wants to get better. He knew his uncle wouldn't want to see him in this state. The psychologist said that in order for him to get better from depression, the first thing he must do is to relieve the things that he has been keeping to himself. It would be best if he could say it to the psychologist or his parents, but it was so hard for him to tell them, even after a year. They've tried many other ways to get him to talk to them and also other ways of improving his depression, but it was to no avail none of it worked.

The psychologist realised what his problem might be and suggested that he could say it randomly to a stranger on social media since it is hard for him to tell someone face-to-face, even though it might not be as impactful as releasing everything to a person whom you trust.

He took the advice of the psychologist and went on Facebook and started posting about his day and his story.

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unwantedboi: Today marks the 365th day of Uncle Wonho passing away. It was also today that I was diagnosed with depression. haha.

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unwantedboi: 366th day. The psychologist said if I want to get better from my depression, I must relieve all the things that I've bottled. This will be my dairy account. Yay.