𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗢𝗕𝗝𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘

𝖢𝖧𝖠𝖯𝖳𝖤𝖱 | 𝟤𝟣

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𝖢𝖧𝖠𝖯𝖳𝖤𝖱 𝖳𝖶𝖤𝖭𝖳𝖸-𝖮𝖭𝖤 | 𝖣𝖤𝖲𝖯𝖤𝖱𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭 𝖮𝖱 𝖲𝖠𝖢𝖱𝖨𝖥𝖨𝖢𝖤
| 𝗥 𝗔 𝗠 |

"Thanks for coming so last minute, Ram."

"Yeah," I reply with a sour tone. First things first, I'm never in the mood in the morning. Second, because of this, I missed out a lot with Sanjana last night.

"Why are you being so dry?"

"Since when wasn't he always dry?" Commissioner says and they laugh. Soon, they walk away. Leaving me and Chandra in front of the station.

"Are you okay?" He asks me.

"Honestly, no, Chandra. I'm really not." I sigh.

"What's wrong? Do you wanna talk about it?"

"It's Sanjana and my fucked up life."

"What?" I knew for a fact he'd be confused as hell because my life is the literal definition of bewilderment.

"Last night... Sanjana and I... We had a moment. I got to talk to her about my feelings. I got her to understand my heart. It felt good but it didn't feel enough. I wanted to hear her thoughts. I wanted to hear what's really in her heart. But before that, I was summoned. I went back around three in the morning and she wasn't there anymore."

"She hasn't contacted me since then. I just don't want her to think I'm weird and I don't want our not-so-good relationship to become even worse just because of last night."

"It won't, Ram. Trust me. Maybe you can wait for her or even better, talk her her first." Chandra pats my shoulder.

"No, Chandra. I don't want to torture her anymore. If she really has any sort of feelings towards me, let her come to me. I can't force her to be with someone like me anymore."

"You might be right but what if she doesn't come to you out of stubbornness?"

"Then it's supposed to be, Chandra. I can't do it anymore. I can't because I feel guilty. I feel so guilty for forcing her to fall in love with me."

"Why? What's wrong with falling in love with you?"

"I'm not fit for her, Chandra. When I know I'm not educated enough, not rich enough, not valued enough for her, why would I purposefully want her to be stuck with me? If she marries me, she wouldn't even have in-laws, for the love of God."

Chandra sighs. "Look, Ram, is it your fault that you were taken away from your parents at a young age? Is it your fault to become an orphan? Others would use it as a reason to go stray but look at you! You take care of your health, your income, and your surroundings. You might not be stable according to you but to me, yes the hell you are!"

"You could only finish school but you were still determined to finish school. Some drop out even though they were able to continue without any problems."

He says and I have no words. Is he right?
"Think about it, Ram. Sit and think about it. If you really think you're lacking something and you're not worthy of being with her, then change yourself for the better to make yourself worthy of making her yours."

Fuck, he woke up and chose violence today because I am dying.

"You choose. Desperation? Or sacrifice?" He pauses. "I want you to think this through, Ram. Think about how you've always put yourself down. Then think about my words. I'll take your leave now. Take care of yourself."

He leaves the place. I can tell he was a bit upset with the fact I kept putting myself down. I might be wrong but I can't blame myself after seeing plenty of people who are successful in many different ways. It's not my fault that I blame myself for not trying hard enough.

I became silent for the whole day. I didn't say a single word. The only time I didn't hear my voice for the longest time ever. I almost even forgot what my voice sounded like.

It was already the next day and I still haven't heard from Sanjana. We had the conversation two nights ago but it felt like it was just a few hours ago. What hurt me most is, I keep feeling that I'm not worthy enough to make her mine. I feel like I just don't deserve an angel like her. I'm just way too fucked up for her.

But like what Chandra said, I had to choose between my desperation for her or my sacrifice. Should I just be selfish or should I sacrifice my love for her? She would definitely find someone who's a thousand times better if I sacrificed my love. That's what she's capable of.

I was walking home when I suddenly heard continuous gunshots around me. I don't see the people firing them but the sounds were too loud. I had no idea where to go to not get shot in the brains.

I keep walking around the block and someone hit the corner with a gun in his hands pointing at me and I recognize the man. Johnny points the gun to my head out of nowhere.

"Holy shit! It's me, dude!" I yell as a reflex. He looks at me and realizes who I am.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He yells after dragging my hand and pulling me to his side. I get super confused about the whole situation. What the hell is going on? Who on earth is he shooting at?

"Where the hell did you come from?" His assistant asks me in annoyance.

"Who're you shooting?" I ask Johnny as I peek through the corner and see absolutely no one. "There's no one there, who're you shooting at?"

He sees me peeking and pushes me back. "Can you back up?!"

He sends more of his men to investigate with guns in their hands. I was absolutely bewildered. I had no idea what was going on and nobody wanted to tell me. Well, who the heck cares?

"I was actually gonna see you in my free time this week," I say. "I wanted to talk about Kailash."

He looks at me pissed and pushes me by my chest. "Your timing sucks ass! Do you not have another time to talk about that man? I should kill you before killing Kailash!"

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