God is in My Story

Nobody prepares you for the worst day of your life.

Nobody tells you it can happen twice.

THE BEGINNING

How do you tell your story when each day the memories bring you to tears?

Since the day I finally decided I would tell our story, I've struggled with finding the words to start this. Or even exactly where to start.

My daughter and I's story goes way back to when her brother was born. You can even say it goes as far back as when my husband and I first met. Both would be correct. But to really understand, we must go back to the beginning.

. . .

My earliest memory of learning what preemie is, is at school. I was in 5th grade, in Mr. Hopper's class, and we had someone come and speak to our class. It was about the March of Dimes. They were there to talk to us about premature babies, tell us what they were, and what we could do to help them. I remember being amazed by what they showed us; the small diapers, the pictures of them in incubators as an attraction at Coney Island. And the tiny bottles, the bottles they gave us to raise money in.

I don't remember a lot from that day in school, but I never forgot what I learned about preemies that day, and learning about some classmates who were preemies themselves.

That day set into motion what decisions I would make as a mother many years later. If you had told me then that someday that would all become a very real reality for me, I would have never believed you. You never expect it to happen to you. You know it can, but things like this happen to other people, right?

. . .

Before I met my husband, Zack, I had decided I was going to stop looking for someone for a while. I felt like I was getting nowhere and every guy I dated or almost dated was the same in one negative aspect or another. So, I stopped.

I don't remember the exact timeline of things. During this time of my life, I was spending a lot of time with my friends and taking classes at the local community college. My hopes for the future were to be involved in graphic design and photography someday. So, my major was Studio Arts. It had originally been English because I also loved writing, still do, but I felt I could make a career out of Graphic Design. More specifically, I really enjoyed designing book covers, so all my interests overlapped with one another.

My interest in designing book covers started when I started visiting a website where you can write and upload your books and read other writers' books. The website allowed you to have a book cover, and I was always determined to have a perfect cover because I knew it would attract more readers.

I eventually found myself spending more time creating book covers for myself and others and less time writing my own books. I would watch tutorials on design and learned as much as possible about photoshop. So, one semester I decided to make the switch.

I had classes with a friend I had been going to school with practically my entire life. Her name was Ashley and we had Music Appreciation together. We had been friendly since we were young but had never really been close friends. Not because we didn't want to be, we had just never really been given the opportunity. In high school I only remember having a couple classes together the entire four years.

Once we started having class together, we started becoming closer. We had gone to one of the required concerts for our class together, it was a Christmas concert. Then we started hanging out in Morristown a lot, where the main campus was.

One day, we were at the Mexican restaurant, called El Mariachi, and she started telling me about her boyfriends' cousin that had just came back from the Army. She told me how nice he was, and that he was single. I really wasn't too interested at the time; I was happy with my life. But if Ashley was anything, she was persistent. Her first attempt to get me to go on a double date with him had failed. She had tried to get me to go to the aquarium with them on Valentines Day. It wasn't so much I didn't want to go; it was more of she had waited until the last second to ask me. I hadn't showered and I wouldn't have had much time to do so. And I was not going to go on a first date after getting ready in a rush. I was a very typical girl in her early twenties. I wasn't leaving the house without looking my best.

I was also being a little stubborn. Like most people, I had taken it upon myself to nose around his Facebook. And if we are being honest, I was being a little judgmental.

Okay, a lot.

On his Facebook, it had a few things he had shared about conspiracy theories. My initial thought was he was most likely a crazy conspiracy nut, so I wasn't jumping at the thought of meeting him. He was cute, sure, but my stubbornness was not letting me get past everything I had seen on Facebook.

I really don't remember what led me to finally agree to a date. I was being extra stubborn this time. I feel ashamed now to even admit this, but I had even ignored his message on Facebook. I don't know if Ashley or my mom had talked me into it. Or if I had finally messaged him back and he talked me into it.

On Ashleys birthday, I found myself in Gatlinburg, on a double date with Zack, Ashley, and her boyfriend, Chad. I remember being very nervous and quiet on the drive up there. I had always been an introvert, so this was difficult for me.

I was at Ashleys house when Zack and Chad picked us up. Zack was driving his parents' Excursion, as his vehicle I would later learn being put back together again. So, I rode up front with him, and Ashley and Chad had the backseat. I had never felt more awkward in my life.

Despite the awkwardness of that first encounter, that first date at TGI Fridays turned into the first of many dates. We fell in love quickly and fell into each other's lives and families seamlessly. Our first date was around the end of February or early March. By June 13th, 2014, he had proposed to me on the beach during a vacation with his family. And exactly a year to the day, we were married. That was only the beginning to the whirlwind life was taking us through.