Hello guys, I'm back I guess...
Well, I think I will just continue writing, atleast it will make me less stressed, and atleast I have my readers as my true friends here who loves my works...
Actually, I am so sad and depressed right now, I feel alone, and friendless, my friends, or what I thought, once I show them who I truly is, they started avoiding me...
Is it wrong to be childish, is it really annoying?.
Yes sometimes I might get out of hand, just like what i did to one of my friends, I joked about sending his dancing videos on my debu to our classmates, I meant it as a joke only and he knows it, he knows I will never do it, but suddenly he ignores me, I apologized to him many times, yet he ignores them.
I know what I did was wrong, but that's just how I am, sometimes I am doing something without thinking for the consequences, they all know it, and I just hoped they will still accept me for what I am.
I actually just craves for attention, and one true friend but I guess, I am bound to have no true friend...
I have this other friend whom started distancing herself to me, because I always clings to her, and I always borrows her phone for a little time because my grandmother doesn't allow me to bring my phone to school...
My other friends, or what I thought was my friends, they only come to me when they needed something, but when there's nothing they needed from me, they also distance theirselves to me, but me being such a fool just let them...
Even my parents who is supposed to always be there with me to always support me, they hurt me the most, by body shaming me, just because I am fat, by breaking my self esteem, sure they always said they are proud of me because I am smart and always got achievements, for my high scores, but I want them to accept not just because of my intelligence, but because of who I am...
I am always alone, but I have enough now, I don't want to be a fool anymore, I don't want to have friends who is only temporary, I don't want to be hurt again and again, I don't want to be friends with someone who can't accept me for what I am, for my personality...
So I want to write again, because here I can express myself, I can be myself without getting judged much, I won't be judged for being childish, for being myself...
You can still accept me right, even knowing all this, will you still support me?...
