𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐎 | cillian murphy

𝐯𝐢𝐢. only for you

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

"Cillian, I want you over here facing Matt. This is big, it's the last scene before you both know whether or not everything you've worked for for as long as you've known each other is going to work or not." Chris explained as he guided Cillian and Matt to where they were supposed to be. "We need to be able to see that, to feel it."

This was a long shoot day, they had previously filmed parts of the explosion scene and everyone's reactions but now they had to go back and re record the build up with the end in mind.

Cillian had hardly slept for the past two days as they had been filming and yet the only one who had noticed was Kat. He had believed he was very good at hiding it but it seemed he could not hide things from that girl. She had made sure he would at least get six hours sleep every day and get some food into him while testing his lines as well.

You don't have to mother me, Cillian had said but Kat had merely scoffed. I'm not mothering you, I'm keeping you alive Oppy, she had said, practically tucking him in, consider me your death row nurse.

"And... action!" Christopher called out and almost immediately, Cillian was Oppenheimer again.

Except when he wasn't. 

Throughout the scene he acted perfectly, he was Oppenheimer to everyone else and yet when he caught a glimpse of blonde hair sat beside Christopher, watching the scene through a monitor, he was Cillian. He was just a man.

"CUT!" Chris yelled and Matt and Cillian snapped out of it immediately. "That was perfect Matt but Cillian, I didn't see the longing."

"Longing?"

"Oppenheimer knows he's the best but Groves has never given that confirmation. He wants prove to him and everyone else who hasn't repeatedly gone 'oh you're the best' that he is in fact that." Chris babbled. "Think of it like this. Picture something you want more than anything in the world and that's your... well I guess that's your A bomb."

"Something I want?"

"No, something you need." Chris emphasised. "All good?"

"Great." Cillian said, jaw tensing as he wracked his brain. "Let's go."

Chris gave him a thumbs up before turning and rushing back the directors seat where Kat sat beside him. Cillian met her eyes briefly as she flashed him a smile and as exhausted as Cillian was, he let his own smile cross his face at her expression. He could never not smile when he saw her.

Oh.

Oh.

"Cillian?" A voice broke his thoughts. "We're rolling."

"Sorry, I was just... thinking about someone I love."

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

"Hey." Kat said, wrapping her arms around Cillian's neck as his large, cold hands rested on her hips. "You were great today, really longing and all that."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." Kat giggled slightly.

They were back in Cillian's room after they wrapped shooting for the day. It was around six and Cillian was sure she was attempting to wrangle him into cast dinner as she did every day around this time if he wasn't already passed out. It never worked but he did definitely enjoy seeing her. More than he had previously thought, it seemed.

"You look tired, Cil." Kat said softly, her green eyes looking up at him as he gazed fondly down at her. "You should get some rest."

"Do you not want to force me into another cast dinner?"

"You always say no."

"But it is a struggle every time." Cillian said, one hand reaching up to cup her face as his calloused thumb brushed against her cheekbone. "It's horribly difficult to say no to you."

"You're so tender." Kat said with a small smile, leaning into his touch like a kitten. "Like the soft part of an apple."

"Only for you."

Both were silent at that, merely enjoying one another's presence as Kat's cheeks pinkened slightly at the intensity of his stare.

"What did you think of?" Kat asked, curiosity in her voice while Cillian barely heard her over his own thought as he brushed a curl of blonde hair behind her ear.

"Hm?"

"The longing, the want, the need." Kat said, referencing what Chris had said earlier in filming. "What did you think of?"

Cillian was silent for a moment, pausing his movements as his jaw tensed, causing Kat's brow to furrow.

"You don't have to-"

"You."

Kat's mouth fell into a small 'o' as the word reverberated through the room, his gaze not once falling from her face. How could he look away once he'd seen her?

"You thought of me?" Kat asked softly, eyes falling to the carpeted floor before Cillian's hand reached up and placed his knuckle beneath her chin, tilting her head to look up at him. 

"I never don't think of you, Katherine." Cillian said, more sure of that than anything. "I think of you every night before I fall asleep, the words you've said, the way you looked. The things we laughed about, the silent moments we shared. And when I dream, I dream of you. Because it's about you. It's always about you."

Kat's took a deep breath, winded by the confession as she stared up at him.

"What are you saying, Cil?" Kat asked, unsure of what on earth he meant by said confession and he couldn't help the small smile that crossed his face as she softly held his arms and he pulled her closer to him.

"It was always you, Kat." Cillian said softly, pressing his forehead against hers as they stared into one another's eyes. "It was always you I was meant to love."

Before he could say anything else, Kat raised on the tips of her toes and pressed her lips against his. It was soft kiss and yet still so very hungry, and the way Cillian's clung to her waist and how Kat pressed her body to his, they needed each other far more than their lips on each others could ever say.

Finally breathless and riding a high of elation neither could describe, they pulled away.

"I love you too." Kat whispered, foreheads pressed together as their breath intermingled between them. Cillian smiled a true, joyful smile.

"I love you more." He said, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he held her in her arms. A forehead kiss that said 'don't ever leave my side or I don't know who I would be'.

A forehead kiss that meant, I love you, most of all.

"Now will you come to dinner?" Kat asked, a teasing smile on her face as Cillian laughed with a mock roll of his eyes.

"Not a chance."

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.