Philia [Taegi]

6. Breadcrumbs

The next few days passed in no time, but there had been some very pleasant progress.
First of all, Sunny was starting to use her litter, at least nine out of ten times. Furthermore, Yoongi had, thanks to his lie, finally found the motivation to apply for a job. With Namjoon's support, he had called RamyonGood during their next appointment and asked if the job offer was still open. Luckily, it was, and when he confirmed that he could start this Friday, they had basically hired him on the spot. On top of that Yoongi had finished the entire Lord of the Rings book, mainly to see more illustrations from the mysterious regular. They were simple yet beautiful, to Yoongi they seemed like somebody very talented who didn't really try hard drew them. Yoongi thought a lot about this person the past few days. He wondered if they were alike, if that person was also bored, if they were also trying to make life work. Did they feel like life could never really feel like life again, as well? Yoongi figured that he was probably over interpretating but the thoughts about this stranger kept his mind off much darker topics, so he embraced them as much as possible.

He closed the last page of the anthology and wiped away a few tears, then quickly checked his phone to see if he was running late. Friday 29.09.2023 15:03. He had to get going in about half an hour to be on time. Until now, the book had done a fantastic job at keeping him distracted but since he had nothing to do anymore except to wait, his nerves started to kick in.
Feeling restless, he checked himself in the mirror a final time. His almost shoulder-long wavy black hair was thourly combed, he wore light blue jeans and a grey sweater that were a bit baggy but in a fashionable way. His eyes were rather red, they always were a little but the tears had intensified it. Yoongi hoped they would clear up by the time he arrived. Besides that he had to admit, he looked better than he had in months. Yes, the dark circles under his eyes were still very prominent, but at least his cheeks had finally taken on a more rosy, healthy tone and generally, he was quite pleased to see how much weight he had gained. From being only skin and bones to a reasonably slim figure in the short time since he had gotten out of rehab, that was quite the accomplishment.
Satisfied, Yoongi tucked his hair behind his ears, when Sunny started brushing against his leg. "Does someone wants to be fed?" Yoongi asked his furry friend. She answered with a hungry meow, so Yoongi went into the kitchen, putting a new meal in Sunny's bowl before he left. Under normal circumstances he wouldn't have had the money to feed her, unless he would have started to spend the money that Jennie gave him for cigarettes on Sunny's food. Honestly, that would have been challenging for him, but he was ready to sacrifice it for her, since he was sure Jennie wouldn't give him any extra money for the food. It had already been a hassle to convince her to give him some for cigarettes in the first place. She had profoundly refused until Yoongi broke down in tears, weeping, how this was the only thing that kept him from doing worse. After that Jennie had started to coincidently forget thirty thousand won on the kitchen counter once a week, but then the last time, it had suddenly been forty thousand, and Yoongi was pretty sure that his sister was not trying to encourage his nicotine addiction. He didn't say anything about it though, neither did he thank Jennie, it was a silent agreement that enabled her to not feel like she was supporting her brother's smoking habbit and him to at least have a little autonomy.

On his way to the train station Yoongi smoked faster than ever before, in the short moments the wasn't sucking on a cigarette, he started biting his lower lip, to the point were it was slightly bleeding by the time he arrived at the restaurant.
Yoongi took a deep breath before entering. It had been ages since he worked a proper job, he couldn't mess this up.
Inside the place looked very dull, not ugly by anymeans, just a bit boring. A few customers already sat at the tables, but most seats were still empty. He stepped up to the counter, where a middle-aged woman stood, who stared around seemingly absent minded. "Hello, I'm Min Yoongi. I'm the new busboy." he said his definitely not memorized and practiced line. The woman looked at him and her face promptly lit up. "Oh, hello. We have expected you. Come, please follow me." she said and guided him towards a small door at the end of the restaurant. It let to the white kitchen in which a few men were busy preparing food. "Jay. Jay!" the woman called out and a man, who seemed to be a few years older than Yoongi, appeared behind the kitchen island. "Good to see you darling, this is Yoongi, he will be the other busboy for the weekends. Yoongi, this is Park Jay. He is our busboy most of the time but since the weekends are so stressful you are here to help him. You know since we gave out coupons in the offices around, the business has been booming, unbelievable how a bit of marketing can make such a difference..." the woman continued her monologue but Yoongi just tuned her out. Instead he took a thourl look at the other guy who was already scanning him up and down. He had an objectively handsome face but wasn't really Yoongi's type. He had lots of tattoos on his arms, hands and neck. He wore a nose piercing and his short black hair was styled with a lot of gel. Besides that he wore baggy jeans and a white muscle top. "...anyways I will leave you two to it. Please take good care of our rookie, will you Jay?" "Of course ma'am." said Jay while his eyes were still fixed on the younger. The woman gave Yoongi a final smile and left. "Alright then, rookie, let me show you the way." joked Jay and signed Yoongi to follow him.
He showed him is work station, how to set the tables and explained the overall system they followed, which was essentially no system at all. Yoongi was simply supposed to wash the dishes, either stack them up for the cooks or use them to set new tables, afterwards he should look for tables with dirty dishes and bring them back to his station, repeat. The work was simple, exactly like Yoongi expected it to be. After Jay had explained everything, they got to work. The first few hours went smoothly, Yoongi liked the fact that nobody talked to him and he could just do his monotone work and let his thoughts flow. His mind still kept cycling back to the regular and his illustrations but he also thought about Hoseok. He wondered if Lisa had already returned from Japan. He was sure Hoseok would have called or texted him if he got news or maybe Yoongi should ask. Either way, they hadn't properly hung out in a while, maybe he would be free next week.
Yoongi was deep in his thoughts when Jay approached him. "You smoke?" he asked. Yoongi nooded. "Dope, follow me." Yoongi took a glance at his unfinished task but decided to go with Jay anyway. He had worked fast so far and hadn't smoked a single cigarette in hours.
Jay guided him towards another small door in the corner of the kitchen through which Yoongi had seen the cooks pass many times during his shift. Now he understood, it led to a square courtyard, that was enclosed by high buildings. It was small and isolated, perfect for the staff to rest a few minutes. A big ashtray stood right by the door.
Jay sat on the ground and lid up a cigarette, Yoongi wanted to do the same but as he opened his pack, he realised, it was completely empty. He had been so nervous before coming to work that the didn't notice he smoked all of them on the way. Without a word Jay offered him one of his own. Yoongi thanked him and took it. "Is a tabac shop near by?" he asked. "Nah, but a gas station just five minutes down the road. You can go after ten, then it usually gets less packed." Jay explained seeming bored. "It's okay, I'll go after work." mumbled Yoongi. He wasn't sure if Jay expected him to start a conversation, he couldn't think of anything to say and didn't even want to. Yoongi was perfectly contempt with the fact that nobody acknowledged his presence and he didn't want to ruin that by being too friendly. After all, he was sure it would be better for him not to make friends. "So what's your thing?" Jay stroke up a conversation nonetheless. Yoongi just fround at him, thinking of what he could anwser which didn't make him look like a total loser, but Jay must have read this as him not understanding because he continued to clarify. "I mean, what's your business? Why are you working as a part-time busboy at... what? Like thirty five?" Ouch. That stung a little, thought Yoongi. "I am thirty." he corrected sheepishly. Did he really look that old? "Oh sorry bro, I thought you were older than me. Anyway, why do you work here at thirty?" he pressed but Yoongi just shrugged. "I need some extra cash, what about you?" They both put out their cigarettes and Yoongi immediately wanted to get back to work but he knew it would be rude to just leave the conversation, so he continued to listen to Jay. "Yeah, this isn't really my actual job, more like a side hussle. I actually am a rapper." Yoongi nooded in fake surprise, he had met guys like Jay at least a million times before, they were all pretty much the same, so he had already kind of expected this. "Yeah, this is just until my shit really blows up. It's actually pretty dope, if you want to listen to it, you can come to my crib tonight. I'm having a party to listen to my newest songs, it will be crazy. We got some ladies over and some candy, if you know what I mean." Jay winked and Yoongi knew of course what he meant, so his stomach turned.
He kept silent, fighting the urge to scream yes on the top of his lungs. He wanted to go so bad. Suddenly it felt like everything about his life sucked. He was practically dying inside. Work, therapy, the Magic Shop, fuck all that, he could have something better- but Yoongi took a deep breath. He knew what he had to do, what he should do. "Sorry, I already have something planned." he said and got up. His body felt heavy, everything in him screamed for him to stay and say that he changed his mind, but Yoongi didn't, he just walked back into the kitchen without saying another word.