Gnome: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one.
Angel: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
Bro: Fight me!
Ninja, standing behind them and holding a katana: *mouths* Do not.
Engineer: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don't get along?
Veteran: What did you just say-
Engineer: Foetons! *Laughs*
Veteran: Wh-what?
Stoner: Where are your parents?
Goober: What are parents?
Stoner: That's just about the saddest thing I ever heard get said.
Stoner: Sometimes I get so caught up on being gay that I forget I'm actually bi...
TheGentlemen: *points at Captain* A human turtleneck, *points at Angel* a narcissistic monster, *points at Veteran * and literally the dumbest person I've ever met.
Veteran : And who am I? Describe me now.
Dum: Are you trying to seduce me?
Captain: Why, are you seducible?
Mr. Cheese: Please, TheGentlemen, after everything we've been through together. You can't do this.
Mr. Cheese: I'm sorry TheGentlemen.
Mr. Cheese: I'm begging you. Don't do it.
TheGentlemen: It has to be done.
Mr. Cheese:
TheGentlemen:
Mr. Cheese:
TheGentlemen: *Places +4* Uno.
Veteran: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter "s".
Dum: *looks over at Gnome and Engineer*
Dum: Is it "sexual tension"?
Captain: To everyone who has treated me poorly; I am sexier than you.
Mr. Egg: Thank you all for coming.
Tek, wearing a hospital gown: When I heard you couldn't get laid, I dropped everything and came straight here.
Mr. Egg: Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else being part of the "Fuck Mr. Egg Task Force".
Mr. Cheese: Yeah, I interpreted that in a different way.
Captain : Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I'd just be excited to have a bunk bed.
Veteran:
Veteran: I'm gonna tell them.
Player: Don't you dare.
Mr. Egg: I put the pun in punishment.
Player: I put the top in unstoppable.
Gnome: I put the cute in execute.
Veteran: I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Dum: I put the ass in class.
Mr. Cheese: I put the D in TheGentlemen
Engineer: Go ahead, Gnome.. Let it out, cry. If you don't, your tear ducts will get blocked up, and then when you get old, you won't be able to cry.
Veteran: Just when we thought it was safe to let you back into the conversation.
Captain: WHY DID YOU KILL HIM?! HE COULD HAVE HAD HOPES AND DREAMS, HE COULD HAVE HAD A FAMILY!!!
Veteran: Captain -
Veteran: It- it was just an ant-
Mr. Egg: Thanks for opening my message and not responding.
Mr. Cheese: All good bro, any time.
Mr. Egg: Fuck you.
Ninja: I'm genuinely surprised you haven't gotten arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet.
Bro: Nat 20 Charisma.
Ninja: That is NOT how that works-
Bro, to Stoner: I mean, I get complimented all the time-
Ninja: *starts cackling*
Bro: I do!
Ninja: *laughs harder*
Dum: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons.
Engineer , deadpan: Wow, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.
Mr. Cheese: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close.
TheGentlemen, blushing: Okay.
Stoner: It's fucking summer.
Captain : You're a lying piece of crap!
Dum : Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!
Engineer: I'm leaving and I'm taking Gnome with me...
Mother, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.
Mr. Egg: What is wrong with you?
Mr. Cheese: Many, many things...
Mr. Cheese: And most of them are your fucking fault.
Gnome: We need a way to lure in new customers?
Mother: Maybe we could have some fun, interactive events!
Dum : Captain bath water.
Captain : ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Captain, over radio: Testing. Testing. Engineer , can you hear me?
Engineer, standing next to Captain : I'm standing right here.
Captain: You're coming through good and loud.
Engineer: 'Cause I'm standing right here.
Bro: Lol. Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this..
Mother: What did you do Bro?
Bro: a Mistake.
Mr. Egg: Do you take constructive criticism?
Captain : Not without crying
Captain : Why is there blood everywhere?
Stoner: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.
Captain : You stabbed someone?!
Stoner: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.
Goober: Is it just me or is instant ramen even better uncooked?
Ninja: It's just you.
Gnome: Are you sure this is safe?
Captain : Safer than Flintstone vitamin gummies in a bottle.
Captain : Keep twisting, junior! All you're gonna get is clicks.
____________________
(One of my AU's)
Mr. Cheese: *Laughs* dude, you had a crush on me? That's embarrassing—
Mr. Egg: We're married.
_____________________
Mr. Cheese, to Mr. Egg: All right, let's tell each other a secret about ourselves. I'm going to go first– I hate you.
