abhiya ~ ivy ✔

rising in love

Hello, mein.....umm..... padhte jao, khud pehechan jaoge ki mein kaun hun.

Mein meri Jiya se mili thi jab woh 14 saal ki thi. Mumma ne mujhe bohot pyar se ek wrap karke Jiya ko uski 14th birthday pe gift ki thi. Par, usne mujhe kabhi khola hi nahi. Mein toh usi wrapper mein wrap hui padi rahi. Fir 2-3 hafte baad Jiya ne bohot carefully mujhe unwrap kiya. I know, she too fell in love with me jaise I fell in love with her. After all, I am beautiful, she couldn't resist falling in love with my dark greenish- brown cover. Pehle toh, she checked my sides, turned me, checked my pages and again closed me. Bohot hi pyaar se sehlaya and hugged me.

Ab aap batao itna pyar bhara interaction k baad kaise pyaar nahi hota mujhe usse?

Jab mein stationery pe thi hamesha chahti thi k koi toh lele, ek kone mein padi rahi. Hamesha dhul hoti thi mujpe par jab mumma aayi, unhone bas ek jhalak mein pasand karliya mujhe. I was so happy k finally mein kisi ki hone wali thi, par jab mujhe unwrap nahi kiya toh phir laga k shayad mein kisi kaam k liye bani hi nahi thi. Uss wrapper mein band, I felt jab mujhe unwrap kiya jayega, it will be only for my pages to be torn away from me. I guess I was made to be broken; to be hurt. Par jab Jiya ko dekha na tab feel hua k hurt mein nahi woh thi. When she hugged me, I felt the need to be her friend, she just kept me with her the entire night. 

Uss time mein kuch samjhi bhi nahi but I was happy to finally be free. Mein intezaar karne lagi, kab woh mujhe apne dil ka haal batayegi. Jiya ka bohot hi chota room tha, mene suna tha mumma ko badi mushkil se yeh jagah mili thi aur jiya ne bohot zid karke yeh chota sa room apne liye liya tha. One day, when she came back after school, wo direct mere paas aayi.

She clearly cried. Ek pen liya and started pouring her feelings. Usne mujhe batayi hui pehli baat thi 'disappointment'. It was about the first man who ever disappointed her. Usne bataya how her classmates bragged about how good their father was and she had to stay silent. The entire time she heard her classmate, her father's indifferent behavior and how badly her mother was treated in that relationship revolved her mind. How she wanted to yell, "saare baap ache nahi hote". How her father had tainted her view on men and her parents' relationship had scared her perception on love.

I felt her tears on me, I never felt that helpless. Jaha tak mujhe pata tha, girls at her age were supposed to have crushes, enjoy their teenage, gossip with friends par Jiya toh sabse alag thi. Mujhe batane k baad she felt better, usne mujhe band kiya and ek cute sa thank you bhi kaha. phir mujhe wahi pe rakhke wo so gayi,kuch time baad mujhe mumma k aane ki aawaj aayi. Woh chupke se room mein aayi, shayad Jiya ko dekh rahi thi, kuch time k baad I heard sniffles phir ek chota sa sorry and phir door band hogayi.

Phir usske baad toh mano mein Jiya ki best friend ban gayi. Jab bhi use rona hota tha woh mere paas aati, jab bhi khush hoti thi mere paas hi aati. Mujhe usne apne baare mein sab kuch bata diya. Jaise, when the 10-year-old Jiya looked at her parents' quarrel, she wished they separated because no one was happy in that environment so when she understood her parents' had finally ended things, she felt guilty of how maybe that happened because she wished for it. Mujhe na mumma ki family se bhi gussa aane laga. How dare they speak bad about my Jiya? Mene dekha hai kaise Jiya part time karti thi, despite not being a good student, she used to try her best to get decent scores so that mumma ko kuch sunna na pade.

Jaise Jaise woh mujhe baatein batati, mein khatam hoti jati toh phir.... she would go to a stationery and demand k usse bilkul meri jaisi hi mein chahiye. Jab kabhi bhi dark greenish brown cover nahi milti toh woh size match karti phir ek print out nikal k uss ke upar chipkadeti. Told you, usse mujhse pehli nazar wala pyaar jo hua tha. Toh wo mera naam har baar likhti hai and jo khatam hogaya usse shelf pe rakhdeti hai jaha mein mere pichle hisson se milti hun. 

I have seen Jiya go through her to tough times. Bade na hote bhi bada hota dekha hai. Rote hue, complain karte hue, regret karte hue dekha hai. Uss k paas aim nahi tha toh jo mumma ne kaha wohi kiya, shayad woh guilt that. Usse hamesha se laga tha shayad usi ki wajahse mumma ko saare dukh jhelne pade toh woh kuch bhi karne ko tayar thi. Mein hi thi jise usne kaha about her first audition, uski first salary. First salary se kuch paise apne paas rakhkar usne mujhpe mcq banaye the, mcq ka question tha,