what goes on in my mind

when pretty isn't pretty enough

"when pretty isn't pretty enough, what do you do? and everybody's keeping it up, so you think it's you." 

Olivia Rodrigo's new album probably makes a lot of people feel understood, including me. I like some of the songs, but this one really inspired me, since I think not that many people have covered the topic this way. I think you will all agree that there's always something you don't completely love about yourself. When you look in a mirror for too long, you start noticing so many "flaws" and "ugly things" about yourself that you don't really like. Well, maybe that's just me, but I think you have all felt insecure at some point. 

For me a trigger was always other people's opinions on whatever I was wearing, how I was presenting myself, how I talked and how much makeup I was wearing to seem more perfect. All this hiding away and putting myself down made me think so much more about that. 

Maybe you can relate to the feeling of having so many voices talking in your head that you can't tell them apart from your own. 

I feel like, sometimes our parents are right. We are on our phones too much. But honestly, why wouldn't we be? It's pretty scary out there tbh. You constantly feel judged, people give you weird looks that make you feel like you're worth less. You get confronted with your issues. You have to go to school or work. No wonder we want to escape. And then there's this magical thing you can take everywhere, and on there there's people like you. You can get into fandoms and talk about your interests and opinions with likeminded people. There. something for everyone. And you get dopamine. Lots and lots of dopamine. There's an algorithm specifically for you. It'll always have something to offer. 

There's people throwing their opinions at you, they tell you to not wear this, because it doesn't look good on your body type. They tell you about different groups of people, and why these people are worse than others. Why they deserve less. You can get into drama, and there's celebrity drama that you can watch. We haven't even talked about the celebrities yet. Rich people, that live off our addiction. They have a seemingly perfect life, the perfect body, the perfect face, opportunities we don't have. 

Escapism. 

It's like finishing the best book ever, or your favourite series. You feel a little empty. 

You're running away  from your problems. From your real life, that's not inside a screen. And that's not perfect either. But hey, why does it have to be this way? Put the phone away for a bit. You will be able to hear your own voice for once. Who are you? What are you interests? What goals do you dream of achieving one day? You will know. You will know yourself. And other people. 

You can spend time with people you love and care about. You can learn more about them, while you learn more about yourself. Sounds good hm? Having a peaceful life, conquering your issues and having others help and support you like you do too. 

It's possible. You can do this. Everyone can. Be who you have always looked up to. Achieve your goals, make your wildest dreams your reality. 

But most importantly, love. Love others, give them the affection they need, and you'll get it back from the right people. Treat people exactly how you wanna be treated. Stop talking shit behind people's backs, and if they talk shit about you, that's their business. Don't they have a life too? Why do they waste it thinking about other people? We should feel sorry for them. Maybe they struggle with a lot of things too, and don't have someone to talk to or a way of coping, so they do it like that. Even if their life seems perfect, you never know what happens when no one's around. 

We are the future. We should start acting like it. Do we want the world to become a bette place? Do we wanna feel accepted and loved by the people we care about most? 

Be the change you wanna see in the world. And not everyone will agree with this, people hold grudges and can't let go. They can't give themselves a chance to start over. Love them anyway. Don't surround yourself with negativity. You will not be able to control every part of your life perfectly, and things will go wrong. Choose love anyway. No matter if people don't support your way, do it your way still. Love is the way. 

We are the future. And in the future we should start loving. 

<3