Atsushi just Atsushi

Talking?

Atsushi has always had poor communication skills he never developed them right with the way he was raised he was taught talking and making noise equaled having beatings or no food for the day he couldn't let that happen so he limited talking as much as he can and had to suck up any complaint he had back then nothing was safe to talk about sometimes not talking made him invisible which was good the headmaster wouldn't pick on him even if he weren't given food at least his old bruises can have some time to heal before being open up again this was Atsushi's way of life but even now being in an agency with nice people Atsushi couldn't muster the courage to talk like an adult he still was messed up and he was sitting on his chair while everyone else was talking about what they should get for lunch for everyone he didn't know what to say as he only liked chazuke but then again beggars can't be choosers. Atsushi stared off into space he was quite good at silencing the things around him to just be nothing as if he wasn't there but soon he had to stop as Dazai elbowed him saying "Atsushi what do you want to eat I want something sweet like a beautiful lady-" Kunikda smacked him on the head "Food Dazai food" Kunkida muttered, Atsushi was still he looked at everyone as all the eyes fall on him he was uncomfortable he wasn't one to talk he was nervous now the room was quite just for him to speak Atsushi opened his mouth but nothing came out he studied on words that never left his mouth. Dazai looked at him and poked his shoulder "Sushi come on say something~ Just pick something don't leave us hanging Atsushi oh I should do that later-" Dazai received yet another backhand smack on the head from Kunikda who didn't want to deal with helping Dazai after he hung himself again for the 7th time this month. Atsushi on the other hand was sweating bullets he never had the spotlight to speak to a lot of people not even if it was just the agency his survival tactic wouldn't work this time he can't blend into nothing he can't just zone out and hope for the best it may be just saying what he wants to eat but he is afraid that no one will like what he likes he just wants everyone to be happy. Atsushi took a breath and spoke "U-um I don't really know" He felt disappointment in everyone's eyes he could have picked something to stop everyone from talking over each other but poor Atsushi couldn't he didn't eat anything much other than crackers occasionally chazuke and just bland food he remembers from the orphanage Atsushi isn't a cook so he only remembers the simple stuff other than dirt he remembers the old weird oatmeal that had dirt in it or the yummy stale bread he got that wasn't burned what suggestion could have he made? No one would just eat bread, right? Atsushi just stared at the wall he wished he could be better at communicating he wished he could speak about what was on his mind instead of thinking about it for endless hours he could have been a man of many words but no he is a loser who just blends into anything if he kept his mouth shut like he always has he was no better than Akutagawa but then again he coughs almost every minute he couldn't be as quite as Atsushi since Akutagawa was more confident then him right? Akutagawa could talk with his co-workers when needed with no problem while Atsushi had to give himself an internal pep talk to just ask Kunikida about where the stapler was in the end they went to some pizza place and even then Atsushi couldn't eat the pizza as he didn't feel like he desired it so he drank water to make himself full he has never had pizza before it looks to pretty to be eaten in Atsushi's mind he couldn't eat that he wasn't able to eat this after all he felt to annoyed of himself why can't he just talk he didn't need it to survive anymore this was stupid tomorrow surely Atsushi will try to talk more he thinks he can try maybe even ask where the papers go instead of Dazai telling him straight away he can do this maybe tomorrow is the day the silence will not consume the tiger and he will be able to talk back.

777 words wowza I was really emo when I wrote the first parts of Atsushi but then again I love angst~ What more do yall want I require ideas please throw them out there so I can give some yummy stories for yall <3