Knock, Knock...WHO'S There..?

Knock, Knock...WHO'S There..? | 1

Chapter 1 p1- The move

I couldn't believe it.

Am I dreaming?

Have I really?

no..

There's no way..

Excitement jolted through me like electricity pulsing through my veins. I felt myself smile from ear to ear as I failed to contain my exasperated emotions for the first time in my life.

Never have I ever thought a miracle could ever come my way. I felt like god had answered my prayers.

Overwhelmed by the sudden outburst of emotions flowing in and out of me like a lit up firework, I really had no idea how to act. My eyes welled up in tears blurring my vision as I sat behind the steering wheel of my dads outdated car.

I made it.

With every job opportunity I could find, I worked long shifts unable to balance work with the studies I had to comply.

It was difficult to make ends meet. I constantly found myself falling into the same loop of despair.

Of course I was envious of the kids who didn't have to lift a finger. I was envious of all the designer clothes they flashed with every chance they got. An outfit for each passing day, would have been clothes I'd have cherished for years.

I was Jealous of the brand new electronic devices they had gifted to them by their parents as a token of their damn 'love'.

Gosh.

Or those kids who's parents would take them to school kissing their forehead's goodbye embarrassing them at the sight of their friends.

I wish I had that.

I wish I could feel that.

I wished.

If there was any wish I so desperately would have done anything and everything to make the inevitable happen, it would have been love.

The love you receive from your mother from the moment your born.

The love of having soft kisses gently plopping onto the raw and delicate skin of a new born baby.

The same tender love where that first skin to skin contact is made between her and the infant.

or even the urgent wave of anxiety that the mother feels when she doesn't have the knowledge of her child's whereabouts.

Ha

I hope I'm not boring you.

At least I hope not.

Anyways.

I always wondered why my own mother couldn't give me something so uncostly. Something so little yet worth mountains of gold. 

Is it too much to ask for?

Unlike the other kids, I was amongst the less unfortunate. What I mean to say is, I didn't grow up with a mother figure. Well besides my gold digging step mother.

You see, my mom past away in labour giving birth to me. That's right. That's where she gave birth to a cursed child.
Not that I believe in luck because I don't.
But from my experience, of 22 years of life I could proudly say 'I am a failure' whole heartedly.

Nothing in my life has ever sparked a glimmer of hope or even riled up a storm of euphoria sending butterflies to my stomach like the way artists like Taylor Swift would so desperately commemorate. Now that's something.

I've never had a relationship before so I don't really know how it feels to feel loved by a significant other.

The way everyone else describes this type of love is apparently wayyy different to the love you receive from your loved ones.

I don't know if that's a good thing but maybe one day I'd experience that.

Yeah. That'd be nice.

The only thing I'd ever come close to a relationship would be the love songs on the radio as I make my way to work from the early hours of 9 am on the dot.

I mean at least I'm trying to relate.

=========================

Dosing through the windshield collecting my thoughts together as I recall the events of earlier this evening, I couldn't get over the contentment of living bill free!!

Except the rent duh
It's hard out here living in this measly economy.
Okay but moving on,
COULD THIS GET ANY BETTER?

"Avery. Get yourself together."

I told myself like the freak I am

Oh my days. Yep. I've definitely lost it.

Sighing, and attempting my take on breathing exercises,

I inhaled through my nostrils gathering the oxygen like a suctioning machine as,
I exhaled out my mouth whilst pursing my lips into a star shape.

I straightened my posture.
Steadying my gaze on the rare view mirror.

"You've done it Avery Clementine.
You've broken the curse".
I told myself.
Whilst enabling a string of tear rush to the edge of my waterline in order to escape.
I smiled to myself weakly as I tried getting myself together.

And just like that without wasting time any further, I fastened my seatbelt and slammed my foot against the accelerator.

Instinctively, turning up the radio in the process and hoisting the volume at its peak.

"To a fresh start".

"WOOOOO!!!!"